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  1. #101
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weber View Post
    Maybe you don't owe anyone an explanation, but unless you can explain why you think a certain way you shouldn't be surprised if people discard your opinion or even think it's stupid. Also, I find it funny that people should automatically appreciate your beliefs just because you choose to share them. Keep your unfounded opinions to yourself around INTJs if you don't wish to discuss them.

    Also, an INTJ incessantly talking about themselves? Seems you haven't actually met any real ones. No surprise, considering the vast amount of mistypes.
    Oh no, they were definitely INTJs. And by talking about "me" I mean their interests and thoughts (not necessarily personal details). Considering these were one-on-one date settings with both individuals being INxx types, it's not unbelievable that the INTJ hogged the conversation.

    I very much keep my well thought out & supported opinions to myself, which is why it takes a lot to coax them out. I don't have much interest in sharing them, because I dislike conflict (which could possibly result) & it takes a lot of energy to explain them.

    There is also a MASSIVE difference between "can not" explain & "will not" explain. I did not say people should automatically appreciate my beliefs - they should appreciate the fact that I have chosen to open up to them because it takes a lot out of me to do so. No one should approach anyone with a sense of entitlement to their thoughts. A single "why?" response is likely to come off that way, especially considering the blank face & monotone voice some INTJs display. Not to mention, why would you ask "why" if you're disinterested because you've already decided their beliefs are unfounded? That attitude is a perfect example of why many INFPs don't share easily.

    It seems to me this thread has the INTJs asking why INFPs clam up around them when discussing deeper beliefs/feelings; just because you don't LIKE the reason offered, does not make it untrue. If you won't adjust your style to accommodate the INFP, then don't expect one to open up to you & accommodate you. It works both ways.

    Stringstheory explained it nicely as well.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #102
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    Cool

    Ok now we have found the equation.
    That's the whole point of what I was saying: we won't share with people we don't think fit our definition of being interested.

    OKAY, lets see this clear, what are the variables that make this equation work?

    >Since we can't talk about opinions. (because I'm not close enough for to be willing to talk)

    >We can't try to understand each other because I'm not still worth of it.

    >If I try help somehow I can't either because no one asked me for help (since I'm not trusty yet no one will ask for help)

    >We are only able to chitchat and anything will never grow from there. (INTJ is frustrated, supposedly the INFP is ok with a so superficial conversation)


    Dead End, you can't reach the other side of the mine camp.


    And now I say correct me If I'm wrong or if you disagree with it.


    We are getting closer to the answer

  3. #103
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    The only other option is to pretend.

  4. #104
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I don't get it - if you're not interested in her thoughts, then why even bother at all? You obviously have some interest in communicating with this chick - show it!

    I can guarantee you, if she is indeed INFP, shallow chit chat is not cutting it for her either.

    And faking it may not work unless you're an excellent actor - INFPs are pretty damn good at smelling out insincerity, especially when it comes to emotional motivations.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #105
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I didn't say it was the right choice... just another one. And obviously showing interest isn't enough, or I'd assume she'd have followed the advice everyone has been giving.

  6. #106
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    At this point i'm really not even understanding why you're having this issue. I need an example. Without getting too much into specifics, what ARE you trying to talk with her about?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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  7. #107
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    I didn't say it was the right choice... just another one. And obviously showing interest isn't enough, or I'd assume she'd have followed the advice everyone has been giving.
    There's a language barrier going on, because that's not what I read....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #108
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    What did you read?

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I don't get it - if you're not interested in her thoughts, then why even bother at all? You obviously have some interest in communicating with this chick - show it!

    I can guarantee you, if she is indeed INFP, shallow chit chat is not cutting it for her either.

    And faking it may not work unless you're an excellent actor - INFPs are pretty damn good at smelling out insincerity, especially when it comes to emotional motivations.

    Who said I'm not interested in her thoughts? aren't thoughts opinions?

    And I can fake yes but I'm realising that I have to fake to get along and I don't want that, for an INTJ the world is already meaningless to begin with, more fake and predetermined actions make it even more boring

    So the question is how INTJs get along with INFPs? How someone grows a friendship? Its based on random feelings between that person? It's something like a fate or has a communication way to be followed?

    How does a INFP starts to trust someone? Its based on how to feel with that person in a first glance?

    I'm asking tons of questions I know, I apologise.

  10. #110
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabre View Post
    And I can fake yes but I'm realising that I have to fake to get along and I don't want that
    My interpretation of this sentence: "I don't want to get along."

    for an INTJ the world is already meaningless to begin with, more fake and predetermined actions make it even more boring
    No, and, um... No.

    How does a INFP starts to trust someone? Its based on how to feel with that person in a first glance?
    Who the Hell trusts someone after only a glance? Do you think INFP's are retarded or something?

    I'm asking tons of questions I know, I apologise.
    ....
    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



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