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  1. #1
    Member SinistralPal's Avatar
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    Default Spin-off thread! INFJ males! Who are you attracted to?

    This is a spin off thread of my Contention: ENTP female + INFJ male thread where I question the so-called "ideal" ENTP+INFJ pairing based on potential gender role reversals or gender gaps.

    This brought on the $64,000 Question.......


    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post

    The $64,000 Question
    Which of the four personality types listed above do INFJ males perceive will be their ideal complement AND help them more comfortably express their stereotypical maleness. I predict the ENFP. She is unafraid to lavish her lover with all manner of pda and adoration; in general, she is not interested in leading others or being confrontational; she is more than willing to tailor her approach to meet her male INFJ's needs thus in some ways he sets the agenda.

    If my theory is correct, an INFJ male will be far less motivated to pick an ENTP female. In sum, I predict that while female ENTP / male INFJ matches might have all the advantages of the male ENTP/ female INFJ pairing in terms of complimentary cognitive processes, INFJ males will be less attracted to the dynamic here.
    Well men, care to answer?

    Which MBTI type do you find yourself most attracted to?
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  2. #2
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Oh good Lord! Now it's going to hit the fan.* LOL!

    It is an interesting question though. So INFJ guys, let's hear it. Am I completely batshit crazy or not?


    *If my IRL male INFJ friends read these threads, they are going to think I want to marry them immediately upon learning they're INFJ. Of course, I'd have to remind them it's wayyyyy more complicated than that, so they'd better remember to not leave the toilet seat up.

  3. #3
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    I try not to use MBTI as a deciding factor when it comes to dating. And I have dated a lot of girls I really liked but have no idea of thier MBTI type.

    And the 2 types I am "supposed" to like ENFPs and ENTP's are people I never seem to bump into.

    I have an ENFP buddy we have an awesome time when we hang out, if he was a female and attractive I could see how those dynamics could work very very well for me.

    I think a lot of the women I have dated have been J types... I think I would do much better with a P type.

    long story short:

    of the introverts: INFP could work very well if we had enough in common.
    INFJ This could work very well, and has for me, but it was a little wierd, I am not sure how much I like dating Ni doms anymore...
    ISFP I have and do get along well with ISFPs.

    of the extroverts

    ENFP - very awesome connection to the ENFPs I do know.
    ENTP - hopefully the lack of a J in the scenario will soften her up a little and make it easier to deal with the NT'ness which isnt bad at all, I am a very logical NF.
    ENFJ - could work well *IF* I am very very attracted and interested in her, I found the last ENFJ I dated to be kind of overly involved in my life which really kind of freaked me out, and when she started telling me I spent too much time with my friends it was time to move on.


    I dunno... you know I dated an ISFJ for 8 years and I really did love her. We werent super compatible, but we found ways around a lot of that... I think it could work out with anyone really as long as there is mutual attraction/respect. Loyalty is mandatory, no head games, be up front and honest and if you are busy, say "im busy" dont let a Ni dom "wonder" where you are it drives us fucking crazy! So many fights and arguments ive been in could have been avoided if communication worked better on my SO's behalf. I dont want to control anyone, I just want to know that you are ok and I can get to you if I need to.

    INFJs spend a significant amount of time thinking about their loved ones, its the most important thing to us.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  4. #4
    Senior Member MrRandom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy View Post
    INFJ This could work very well, and has for me, but it was a little wierd, I am not sure how much I like dating Ni doms anymore...
    Could you tell a bit more about that? My current romantic interest is an INFJ and we seem to understand each other amazingly. We come from different cultures and we are not exactly interested in all the same things, but we manage to find common ground just like that. He's also the first INFJ I know besides myself, so I'm kind of excited about this...
    Last edited by MrRandom; 06-12-2010 at 05:15 PM. Reason: typo

  5. #5
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrRandom View Post
    Could you tell a bit more about that? My current romantic interest is an INFJ and we seem to understand each other amazingly. We come from different cultures and we are not exactly interested in all the same things, but we manage to find common ground just like that. He's also the first INFJ I know besides myself, so I'm kind of excited about this...
    Its just that she was Ni dominant like me, and you apparently. I am a fairly paranoid Ni dom at that because I smoke entirely too much great bud, and I think most of the guys in my family are paranoid delusional at points, so for me the way I envision a scenario is comprised of shit I understand about it, and I have a voracious capability to process info about something I am involved in pretty quickly. Much of that is because of the Ni, just seeing all the differnt angles and factoids and 4th dimension of something and boiling it down to a reasonable answer. So im naturally kind of aloof and stuck in my head processing everything away and on top of all that trying to find meaning in all of it so I can maintain the will to keep going.

    Now add another Ni dom Feeler into the mix. INFJ ugh! Now we got 2 people doing similar things, and because I cant NOT suck in other peoples feelings and thoughts when I am around them I will begin to just worry about what they're thinking, and thinking about what they're thinking and knowing they're Ni dominant, so that its as bad as what I am doing and so it adds heaps upon heaps of stress to the table.

    Actually, the way I get around that is usually to just realize that its probably not as big plot unfolding that its the most logical answer. But then youre still stuck with 2 people talking and gleaming 10000s of differnt meanings off of every word spoken, and if you sync up on it its awesome, but when you dont, its very awkward and kind of silent and guarded. it sucks.

    It was a lot like dating myself, and as it turned out I didnt like it very much, it was kind of scary. When it did work though, it worked well.

    I dont know if its just me, or if its INFJs in general, but 2 INFJs talking is kind of like 2 analyzers analyzing each other. Its not a usual dynamic. The sex was intense though. :P
    Ground control to Major Tom

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    *If my IRL male INFJ friends read these threads, they are going to think I want to marry them immediately upon learning they're INFJ. Of course, I'd have to remind them it's wayyyyy more complicated than that, so they'd better remember to not leave the toilet seat up.
    Tell us more why you didn't connect with them


    For me, i love ENFP and maybe ENTP (ENTP are really hard to find but in fact they will be fine too).

    The ENFJ give too much love and have a lack of concept.
    The INFP over dream too much for me and a lack of fun (introvert)
    The INTP have a huge lack of empathy and fun (introvert)
    The INTJ have a good potential for mind connect but maybe a lack of fun (i don't know i found only one)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bassai View Post

    The ENFJ give too much love and have a lack of concept.
    The INFP over dream too much for me and a lack of fun (introvert)
    The INTP have a huge lack of empathy and fun (introvert)
    The INTJ have a good potential for mind connect but maybe a lack of fun (i don't know i found only one)
    @ bolded in the quote.. wtfzbbq?! Does lack of fun apply to you as well(introvert)?

    I agree with ENFJ - the ENFJ I'm with now gives a ton but intellectually does not grasp concepts like others. I absolutely love it though.

    To the OP-
    I Love ENFPs, ENFJs, INTPs, and ENTPs. in that order! Understanding/appreciation of the arts is slightly valued over understanding lots of intelligent topics. Although both are incredibly sexy.
    Last edited by tenINsFJ; 06-15-2010 at 04:31 PM.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by tenINsFJ View Post
    @ bolded in the quote.. wtfzbbq?! Does lack of fun apply to you as well(introvert)?
    Yes, but thing is the ability of the EP to take me out easily.

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