User Tag List

Results 1 to 9 of 9

  1. #1
    Junior Member RobinsonCrusoe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ?
    Posts
    24

    Default Advice for young ENFPs

    perhaps this could apply to other NFs as well, so feel free to post your thoughts too if you're part of the xNFx tribe!

    Being older and wiser, what advice would you give to young ENFPs about life/love/relationships/work/family/etc? There are LOTS of moments when I wish I had an older brother or someone to turn to for advice, especially when there's a big decision to make. My biggest regrets, i find, were not from MAKING a decision, but from refraining from doing so because of family or peer pressure. Just wish somebody could've been there to say, "hey, don't worry about the consequences, it's no big deal. trust me."

    At 24, if there's any piece of advice I could give to a younger ENFP with self-doubt and confidence issues it's to say:

    The only way you'll ever know if you'll do well in something or love something is to just go ahead and do it. Especially if you're in HS/college/living at home.

    I can say, from personal experiences, that even the WORST case scenario of pursuing something you like is always better than the BEST case scenario of NOT doing it. You feel braver, less anxious, more alive, and definitely more fulfilled just from trying.

    now i'm 24, and wishing i could take my own advice now and follow my gut, but i don't know if this advice still applies to me, now that i have to find a paying job so that i can move out.

  2. #2
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    OK, this is a reallly good topic. Let me think about this for a bit.

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    my advice is to rein in that enthusiasm about things you want and don't lose your head...don't just jump in until you're sure you can swim.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #4
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENXP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    296

    Default

    Dont take things so personally. People usually arent out there to hurt you.

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    realize that sometimes your intuition is false you need to force yourself to look at what's in front of you.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    try to quiet your mind and really listen to people....the whole way through even after you think you already know what they're saying.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Strike a balance between cynicism and optimism. Try to be both. Don't be afraid to stick to your values, you'll be rewarded. Definitely follow your dreams no matter what. It's never too late. It's never too late. Did you get that? It's never too late. That's right never ever!

    Don't be such a crybaby. Don't be afraid to ignore others. Don't explain or your actions yourself too much.

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Strike a balance between cynicism and optimism. Try to be both. Don't be afraid to stick to your values, you'll be rewarded. Definitely follow your dreams no matter what. It's never too late. It's never too late. Did you get that? It's never too late. That's right never ever!

    Don't be such a crybaby. Don't be afraid to ignore others. Don't explain or your actions yourself too much.
    adorable haha
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #9
    Senior Member Xellotath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    181

    Default

    Here's some advice I would give a younger me. (Because my status as ENFP is often disputed)

    - Be wary of your own ability to embody ideas and intuitions. Twice so, when you're weak and every symbol under the sun looks like it might bring you new strength and perception.

    - Psychoanalyzing others and helping them face their problems is empowering, but watch that you don't become a junkie for the catharsis of others. Also, while the problem will always be -something they have not digested properly-, know that there is merit in temporary functionality, no matter how fake it may seem sometimes.

    - Careful with blaming yourself when there is no other meaning or information available in a particular circumstance. There are few things as frightening and as slippery as the explanatory powers of shame and guilt.

    - Most axioms people live by really don't work for you. It's easy to get carried away by the idea that you're making "psychological progress" by adopting them. If you can, take a step back and try to see what is making you want to run so fast. There is no mental -click-, real personal evolution takes awhile.

    - Don't fight your own Fi and don't fight your own Fi. It will kick your ass. Yes its a little scary because you feel like it owns you, rather than you own it. That will pass.

    - Don't pretend to be a villain, an outcast, a machiavellian, a genius, an aristocrat, an artist ...especially if it feels reverse-engineered to give you strength. This is just a tension you're having with an internal Fe critic asking you to define your "role", with promises of an explained fate, as if you were a character in a book. Tell it to fuck off. Your heart and your strength comes from -elsewhere-, not roles. Reject the idea that you have to get in touch with an inner archetype to make progress. Keep in mind, however, that engaging in roles might help people of other types than yours.

    ..it's not a lot... but i'm still learning myself. Haha.

    "Neurotic, ha!"
    I let out a scornful laugh.
    "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell.
    I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
    "

    — Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] advice for ENFP girl dating ESFP boy
    By KiwiBurst in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-10-2013, 10:04 PM
  2. [ENFP] Boy Advice for My ENFP Sister
    By Wind Up Rex in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 119
    Last Post: 07-09-2012, 02:38 PM
  3. [ENFP] Advice for an ENFP with anxiety
    By niffer in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-02-2011, 09:28 PM
  4. [ENFP] Any sound advice for an ENFP?
    By RobinsonCrusoe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 06-16-2010, 04:17 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO