[ENFP] Advice for young ENFPs

[RobinsonCrusoe]

perhaps this could apply to other NFs as well, so feel free to post your thoughts too if you're part of the xNFx tribe!

Being older and wiser, what advice would you give to young ENFPs about life/love/relationships/work/family/etc? There are LOTS of moments when I wish I had an older brother or someone to turn to for advice, especially when there's a big decision to make. My biggest regrets, i find, were not from MAKING a decision, but from refraining from doing so because of family or peer pressure. Just wish somebody could've been there to say, "hey, don't worry about the consequences, it's no big deal. trust me."

At 24, if there's any piece of advice I could give to a younger ENFP with self-doubt and confidence issues it's to say:

The only way you'll ever know if you'll do well in something or love something is to just go ahead and do it. Especially if you're in HS/college/living at home.

I can say, from personal experiences, that even the WORST case scenario of pursuing something you like is always better than the BEST case scenario of NOT doing it. You feel braver, less anxious, more alive, and definitely more fulfilled just from trying.

now i'm 24, and wishing i could take my own advice now and follow my gut, but i don't know if this advice still applies to me, now that i have to find a paying job so that i can move out.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

OK, this is a reallly good topic. Let me think about this for a bit.

 

[Lady_X]

my advice is to rein in that enthusiasm about things you want and don't lose your head...don't just jump in until you're sure you can swim.

 

[Malkavia]

Dont take things so personally. People usually arent out there to hurt you.

 

[Lady_X]

realize that sometimes your intuition is false you need to force yourself to look at what's in front of you.

 

[Lady_X]

try to quiet your mind and really listen to people....the whole way through even after you think you already know what they're saying.

 

[Moiety]

Strike a balance between cynicism and optimism. Try to be both. Don't be afraid to stick to your values, you'll be rewarded. Definitely follow your dreams no matter what. It's never too late. It's never too late. Did you get that? It's never too late. That's right never ever!

Don't be such a crybaby. Don't be afraid to ignore others. Don't explain or your actions yourself too much.

 

[Lady_X]

Strike a balance between cynicism and optimism. Try to be both. Don't be afraid to stick to your values, you'll be rewarded. Definitely follow your dreams no matter what. It's never too late. It's never too late. Did you get that? It's never too late. That's right never ever!

Don't be such a crybaby. Don't be afraid to ignore others. Don't explain or your actions yourself too much.

adorable haha

 

[Xellotath]

Here's some advice I would give a younger me. (Because my status as ENFP is often disputed)

- Be wary of your own ability to embody ideas and intuitions. Twice so, when you're weak and every symbol under the sun looks like it might bring you new strength and perception.

- Psychoanalyzing others and helping them face their problems is empowering, but watch that you don't become a junkie for the catharsis of others. Also, while the problem will always be -something they have not digested properly-, know that there is merit in temporary functionality, no matter how fake it may seem sometimes.

- Careful with blaming yourself when there is no other meaning or information available in a particular circumstance. There are few things as frightening and as slippery as the explanatory powers of shame and guilt.

- Most axioms people live by really don't work for you. It's easy to get carried away by the idea that you're making "psychological progress" by adopting them. If you can, take a step back and try to see what is making you want to run so fast. There is no mental -click-, real personal evolution takes awhile.

- Don't fight your own Fi and don't fight your own Fi. It will kick your ass. Yes its a little scary because you feel like it owns you, rather than you own it. That will pass.

- Don't pretend to be a villain, an outcast, a machiavellian, a genius, an aristocrat, an artist ...especially if it feels reverse-engineered to give you strength. This is just a tension you're having with an internal Fe critic asking you to define your "role", with promises of an explained fate, as if you were a character in a book. Tell it to fuck off. Your heart and your strength comes from -elsewhere-, not roles. Reject the idea that you have to get in touch with an inner archetype to make progress. Keep in mind, however, that engaging in roles might help people of other types than yours.

..it's not a lot... but i'm still learning myself. Haha.