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  1. #1
    Member JFrombaugh's Avatar
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    Default Do NFs focus on what is said more than most people?

    I am just curious because I seem to be a lot like this myself. I learned in middle school that only 7% of a person's message in communication is communicated through the actual spoken words (the other 93% is body language & tone of voice). But for NF types it seems to be more.

    For example, I know that INFPs & INFJs can sometimes take offense and get hurt when people jokingly make fun of them (even if body language and tone suggest they don't really mean it), and one ENFJ woman I know tends to get even more worked up when she hears someone say “relax” or “calm down” because what she hears is that the other person thinks she’s being irrational over nothing, which generally makes her do anything but calm down.

    I would also mention that this seems to be more apparant when certain things are said depending on the person, and I DO pay attention to body language and tone of voice a lot too, but...it just seems that we NFs spend a LOT of time reflecting on things other people have said or done, and we try to find meaning in speech, so sometimes our N's deductive reasoning can get distorted by our F's emotions in that regard.

    Is this true for you guys too or am I just totally off in space here?
    INFP | 4w5 | Phlegmatic-Melancholic

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think we focus on what is implied more than most.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    I hear dick when people talk. seriously. I am paying attention to everything else pretty much but what they say. And I think that statistic is innaccurate. I think people's exact words can be highly illuminating. My Se dom/aux peeps pick up on more of everything than I do. I'm too busy trying to intuit the whys to focus on the whats.

    I hate to be told to 'calm down' too simply because it implies there is something wrong with being passionate. I get heated and excited sometimes. It's just how I am. It's the person who's telling me to calm down that needs to calm down.

    I'm an INFJ btw.
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    Default

    I pay lots of attention to body language, facial expression, eye contact, etc.

    I do tend to overanalyze people's words sometimes, though, that could be it.

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    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    Guilty as charged of this kind of thing. Constantly have to remind myself not to take things personally. lol
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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  6. #6
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I observe absolutely everything. I know this is typical, but i'm rarely incorrect about what i deduce from analyzing what has been said and in what context.
    It's a bit obnoxious at times, especially when others are oblivious to their own meanings when i'm in tune with them. However, i don't take offense too frequently. I think that's a bigger problem and people who get offended easily should work on tuning out if they can.

    Hidden meanings are like buried treasure.
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    Senior Member valentine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i think we focus on what is implied more than most.
    Its pretty much this for me. While people can say something, their words have a totally differing connotation. Words have so many implications. I'm pretty oblivious to things like body language however. I'm sure this accounts for my odd interpretations of things.

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    I overanalyze words a lot and take criticism where none was intended, if that's what you mean.

  9. #9
    Member JFrombaugh's Avatar
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    A lot of times when I take these certain spoken words to heart, I also have this voice in the back of my mind that's telling me "If he had intended to (insert perceived action), I think he would have such and such" but it doesn't change the fact that the words themselves still invoke that emotional response.

    It's kind of hard to explain, but I think most NFs will know what I mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    I hate to be told to 'calm down' too simply because it implies there is something wrong with being passionate. I get heated and excited sometimes. It's just how I am. It's the person who's telling me to calm down that needs to calm down.

    I'm an INFJ btw.
    This is one of the many apparant paradoxes about INFJs, because from what I've seen their typical approach when they are "counseling" is to try to comfort the other person and calm them down. But yeah, don't tell an INFJ that she's too sensitive or overreacting if you know what's good for ya.
    INFP | 4w5 | Phlegmatic-Melancholic

  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i think we focus on what is implied more than most.


    I read between lines and am very sensitive to word choice & phrasing. Tone of voice is more noticeable for me than body language & facial expressions though. I can't say I read people that well physically, even if I note it. I pick up on emotional vibes better.

    I would say I also pay almost as much attention to what is not said as to what is said. That can certainly make you prone to seeing criticism where there is none & adding meaning that was not intended. Funny how it does not work the other way for me - I tend to qualify compliments and not take them very seriously, which basically devalues their meaning.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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