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  1. #1
    Junior Member RobinsonCrusoe's Avatar
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    Default How important is independence for ENFPs?

    How important is independence from your family to you? As in, being able to live on your own (or with friends, perhaps), just as long as you are away from your parents?

    I'm currently at home and unemployed, taking some classes at a local community college, and life isn't too bad right now...but the fact that I'm home where my parents are still giving orders makes me feel somewhat...confined and restricted, both physically and spiritually.

    i love my parents to death. they just don't let me explore the way only an ENFP can. Then they get upset that I haven't found my calling in life yet.

  2. #2
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobinsonCrusoe View Post
    How important is independence from your family to you? As in, being able to live on your own (or with friends, perhaps), just as long as you are away from your parents?

    I'm currently at home and unemployed, taking some classes at a local community college, and life isn't too bad right now...but the fact that I'm home where my parents are still giving orders makes me feel somewhat...confined and restricted, both physically and spiritually.

    i love my parents to death. they just don't let me explore the way only an ENFP can. Then they get upset that I haven't found my calling in life yet.
    Just bust out of the cocoon, get out on your own, and never look back. I definitely don't mean to forsake your relationship with your parents, but truly breaking away from the "confined feeling" may require that for a year or so. That way they get accustomed to the idea that you are going to live your life fairly independently.

    I left home at 18 under somewhat bad circumstances (I had to leave and I also wanted to leave - it was mutual), and it got worse and "wierd" before it ever got good again. But, looking back, I'm glad I did it earlier rather than later.

    I'm not an ENFP, but I think the feeling you're having is sort of an NP thing.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  3. #3
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    It's tough to get a mind rest at home (both my parents are Js no less) and I definitely think I could be good on my own, but I'm not in any rush to do it. I wanna leech off of them a while longer

  4. #4
    Junior Member RobinsonCrusoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    It's tough to get a mind rest at home (both my parents are Js no less) and I definitely think I could be good on my own, but I'm not in any rush to do it. I wanna leech off of them a while longer
    really? i can't get any inner calm or peace when i'm at home. grew up in a high-pressure household with super-successful type-A dad AND mom and get barraged by subtle hints everyday that i'm not good enough because i haven't incorporated yet or had an IPO.

    ya know, when i think about it, it was kinda dumb of me to post this question at all. there are so many different factors involved that are specific to the person, location, age, race, time, whatever that there's no one-size-fits-all solution. I reckon some ENFPs are better off staying at home, while others should do all they can to move out.

    i think that ENFPs just want to have all the future scenarios planned out before deciding, when the best way to learn about what makes an individual ENFP tick is to go ahead and just do it. Kudos to INTPness for getting me there.

  5. #5
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    VERY important. I had a period where I didn't really have a choice but to live at home and make peace with parents who naturally don't usually understand the need for independence.

    I know you said you were unemployed and don't mean to assume that there are similar opportunities available to you so please apply this only in as much as it is relevant:

    This is what I did for myself which helped:
    1. Found a degree of financial independence that was practical - found a part-time job that didn't pay very much at all but the money was mine to spend on what I wanted and having that was incredible in terms of not asking them for things that may seem frivolous. Also gave me some where to be that was different and where I met some really neat people.
    2. Found a way to travel (using above money) which was a temporary way of getting out of that confining environment and being inspired by the world...
    3. At a later stage when I was making a bit more, I did contribute to household expenses and that helped me feel more independent as well.

    Hope your situation improves. Short answer to your question : VERY. It is really important to me and my well-being to be independent.

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