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  1. #1
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs are you always the one to initiate and push?

    ENFPs,

    I have noticed something that seems to happen in my friendships and relationships. I am the one who initiates the friendship, I am the one who pushes to find out more of each other, see each other more, and I am also always the one pushing to go to the next level.

    I honestly cannot think of a time when someone has done this to me instead of the other way around.

    Have you ever felt like this? I feel like I am the only one in the relationship pushing to take it further. It can be tiring.

    Reading this through again, it sounds pretentious. It's not. I promise.

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yeah for the most part but because it so naturally accompanies interest for me i think i prefer it that way.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    Post-Humorously stalemate's Avatar
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    I am usually the one to push. I've made the comment before about my best friend that I've basically had to drag the friendship out of him (he is ISTJ).

    It fits my personality though and it doesn't tire me or anything. It is just how it goes...

  4. #4
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    ENFPs,

    I have noticed something that seems to happen in my friendships and relationships. I am the one who initiates the friendship, I am the one who pushes to find out more of each other, see each other more, and I am also always the one pushing to go to the next level.

    I honestly cannot think of a time when someone has done this to me instead of the other way around.

    Have you ever felt like this? I feel like I am the only one in the relationship pushing to take it further. It can be tiring.

    Reading this through again, it sounds pretentious. It's not. I promise.
    I've noticed that with some of my ESFP friends that are girls, they are the ones pushing a friendship with me, and one of my best friends is an EStP and I do feel like i have to push her to hang out

  5. #5
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    I do that a lot and it does come naturally and I enjoy it but I've also learned over time that it doesn't work for all relationships. For some of my best friendships, I've sat back and waited for the other person to reach out because that's what was needed and when they did, it was better for both of us. It felt more equal and balanced in the long run. A pet peeve for me is being taken for granted so letting the other person reach out helped.

    I still think I'll do more of the reaching out and initiating and I am by far the more expressive in the relationship (shocking for us, right ), whatever it may be, but there is a fair amount done by the other person.

  6. #6
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    Can I ask a personal question related to that? Are ENFPs always or most comfortable being the aggressor in a sexual relationship as well? As in, the guy really doesn't have to do anything other than have Mr. Happy out and just lay there waiting for the ENFP to initiate everything from first touch to kiss to everything (if the ENFP is female and the SO is male). Are you ENFP females quite fine with that?

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    mr. happy? haha omg
    i like equality really...i want both people seemingly equally interested in pursuing and equally assertive about it...i don't want to be chased after and i don't want to chase.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
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    ^What she said.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    yeah, i tend to jumpstart it at least. on occasion, however, ESFPs pursue me for a bit and i have to hide from them.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    mr. happy? haha omg
    i like equality really...i want both people seemingly equally interested in pursuing and equally assertive about it...i don't want to be chased after and i don't want to chase.
    Agreed. I do have the ENFP "push" and I'm not afraid to initiate, even with more reserved or shy people, but when I start to feel like I'm chasing someone...I'm like wait...WTF is your problem? Are we not friends or what?

    I don't want to bug people when they want to be left alone, and I also don't want to waste my energy on someone who doesn't appreciate it.

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