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  1. #61
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Ok...i'm back.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    that post makes a lot of sense and i'm sorry we got sidetracked on that one point...yes i could very much see holding back and not declaring how i felt if i knew i couldn't or wouldn't act on it.

    sounds very difficult.
    thanks...yeah...that's why I kept saying there was an inner struggle for him. He resisted plenty of times...and sometimes he didn't. He knew it was bad to lead me on. That's part of the reason he was hot/cold the entire year.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Sorry my dear, we did not mean to stress you out. The only reason his type matters is if you want to try and understand why he behaved the way he did. Otherwise, he is just immature all around it sounds like. I am sorry he hurt you by being stupid.
    It's okay. I already knew his type...and tried for a long time to understand someone who is random and inconsistent. Some things I do, some things I never will.

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Uhhh... despite your protestations to the contrary, you two were in a relationship... even if it was one without formal declarations.
    Relationships require people to spend exclusive time together. We did not do that. We were friends and coworkers...that were very attracted to each other and at times gave in to that attraction.

  2. #62
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I think Blomiki brings up some really good points. An immature ENFP is a terrible sight to behold. It's like we are either very good or very bad. This fellow sounds like he was super immature. Not nearly mature enough for you. And, thescientist, you do sound very very mature... and impressively very in touch with your emotions.
    Thank you...I dont feel this way. I feel so emotionally and socially retarded and behind the times.

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    So don't despair. This is just a plot point in your story. It's great training for the next guy who comes along that is worthy of all the love you would bestow upon him.
    Yeah, I did learn a lot from this. It's hard to see the positive when you're wallowing in sadness.

  3. #63
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Fwiw, I wanna kick this guy's ass, what an immature douche. :steam:

    If I could get a dollar for every time I've been deeply hurt by an immature man-child, a very rich woman I'd be.

    I've never messed with an INTJ's heart, nor would I want to.

    I wouldn't want to mess with anybody's heart, just like I wouldn't want anyone to mess with mine. :ouch:

    I'm gonna get some rest and reread your posts.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Thank you...I dont feel this way. I feel so emotionally and socially retarded and behind the times.

    Yeah, I did learn a lot from this. It's hard to see the positive when you're wallowing in sadness.
    I agree with both EW and SS....you seem very mature and in touch with your emotions, and I would hate to see you close off all vulnerability because of this immature, selfish man. FWIW, ENFPs get hurt too - and can be hurt very deeply - even if the one you know isn't very sensitive. I don't think this is a type thing....I guess just like some INTJs can be cold, stand-offish, avoidant, or too picky....some ENFPs are just shallow and mess with people's feelings.
    Disappointing people come in all MBTI flavors.


  5. #65
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    I think everyone is being thrown off by that one sentence. These are people he didnt know. People he had just met. He was just being casually nice to them. Being his animated ENFP self. I've met ENFJ's and they have an aura of certainty about them. He does not. He is as random and spontaneous as they come. HE IS NOT ENFJ. Not one bit.

    Anyway, I didnt create this thread because I was doubtful of his type. I am NOT. I do appreciate everyone's response and words of comfort.

    Sigh...I'm exhausted. My Fi is really kicking in...that happens when people don't believe me.

    Taking a break....
    Your avatar coupled with your vulnerability and kindness make me feel guilty for harping on the whether or not this dude is an ENFP or not, thing.

    I'm sorry.

    I just got an idea!!!!!

    Let's get some of the ENFP males to contribute to this thread.

    Sytpg (I can't spell his username for shit, I think that's it)

    Wonkavision

    and, MisterEyebrows are the three ENFPs I know who frequent this site, perhaps they could help you a bit more with your current predicament.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  6. #66
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Disappointing people come in all MBTI flavors.
    ^ Wisest post I've read in a while, thoroughly true and kinda depressing.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #67
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Disappointing people come in all MBTI flavors.
    Wow! I love this line. I'm going to shamelessly co-opt it.

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    ^ Wisest post I've read in a while, thoroughly true and kinda depressing.
    Yeah, I felt sad while writing it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Wow! I love this line. I'm going to shamelessly co-opt it.
    Go for it.

  9. #69
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Fwiw, I wanna kick this guy's ass, what an immature douche. :steam:

    If I could get a dollar for every time I've been deeply hurt by an immature man-child, a very rich woman I'd be.

    I've never messed with an INTJ's heart, nor would I want to.

    I wouldn't want to mess with anybody's heart, just like I wouldn't want anyone to mess with mine. :ouch:

    I'm gonna get some rest and reread your posts.

    I was angry for a long time. I've let go of the anger. I understand he was probably just taken aback by me initially just as I was by him.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I agree with both EW and SS....you seem very mature and in touch with your emotions, and I would hate to see you close off all vulnerability because of this immature, selfish man. FWIW, ENFPs get hurt too - and can be hurt very deeply - even if the one you know isn't very sensitive. I don't think this is a type thing....I guess just like some INTJs can be cold, stand-offish, avoidant, or too picky....some ENFPs are just shallow and mess with people's feelings.
    Disappointing people come in all MBTI flavors.
    I dont think he meant to intentionally hurt me. I think he was irresponsible with my feelings and selfish. But, yeah, it hurt anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    Your avatar coupled with your vulnerability and kindness make me feel guilty for harping on the whether or not this dude is an ENFP or not, thing.

    I'm sorry.

    I just got an idea!!!!!

    Let's get some of the ENFP males to contribute to this thread.

    Sytpg (I can't spell his username for shit, I think that's it)

    Wonkavision

    and, MisterEyebrows are the three ENFPs I know who frequent this site, perhaps they could help you a bit more with your current predicament.
    it's okay...I know you guys mean well.

    i'm not sure anyone can help me with my predicament...it's just time to let go...I need to stop dreaming of bumping into him...I need to stop hoping that he's thinking of me....I need to stop the urges to contact him.. Must...let...go...

  10. #70
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    SS: If I could get a dollar for every time I've been deeply hurt by an immature man-child, a very rich woman I'd be.
    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    I agree with people here. Don't push yourself too hard to forget, sometimes feelings are just like the tide, when it is in, it is IN, don't exhaust more energy pushing it back when you should just let it float the beach. *I may be killing this metaphor * In time, you will see that it was a great experience and you have more knowledge now as to what to do next time something like this happens. Perhaps you will cut loose faster or you will get over it faster or you will enjoy it more during the interaction process. In any case, people learn from experience.

    (I don't know how people expect to be wise without experience...you know, those people who believes they KNOW what they are talking about and tries to give you advice but they have NEVER been in that situation before . Okay, I am still kind of mad at my esfj friend because she, in a very snarky tone, told me that I was completely unrealistic with my relationship with (my) INTJ. My response was that, WELL, you TELL me HOW EASY IT IS WHEN YOU HAVE LIKED SOMEONE AS MUCH AS I LIKED HIM. Our connection, imo, was amazing, to me. Yes, I was hurt and sad and whatever for a long time, too long, but I have learned from it like nothing else. I am a better person and I deal with things MUCH better and I know now what I like from men. )

    So, don't feel too bad about your response to it. It is normal and it is okay. We are here for you.

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