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  1. #31
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    He never admitted liking you?!?!



    I'm at work and tired, but I know that you've been having issues with this bloke for a while.

    I am in my third romantic relationship with an INTJ, currently.

    And, regardless of how brief my "relationship" was with the first, I could recount to you vividly everything that transpired between us.

    It took me YEARS to get over this one guy, years, even though, on the surface, I had moved on.

    In fact, in general, ENFPs have extreme difficulty getting over relationships.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #32
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    He sounds too immature to accept your serious declaration from what you have written, or at least didn't handle it correctly.

    So you two were just friends and worked at the same place? But flirted and he send signals and you send signals? You developed a deeper attachment to him but he was inconsistent? And when confronted, he denied everything? And you moved away all of the sudden without saying goodbye?

    What are these values you keep bringing up? INTJ vs ENFP values? I def. see an enormous possible difference that would conflict a budding romance.
    Pretty much in a nutshell^

    Values=religion/beliefs

  3. #33
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post

    You spent time with an ENFP, where he might have been interested in you, but he never admitted to liking you? Are you sure you're dealing with an ENFP and not an ENTP, for example? ENFPs tend to be really bluntly honest, and tend to hurt your feelings in "bluntly honest" ways. They tend to really obviously like you, or they don't. When there are mixed signals, it's of the nature of ENFPs to be "overly friendly" and accidentally give an impression of liking you in a special way, when they really don't ... because they treat everyone that way, not just you.

    ENFP feelings can be particularly erratic, especially when young. On one level an ENFP wants to be in a deeply loving, involved relationship, but on a different level is very afraid of real intimacy, in a "grass is always greener" sense.
    ^ He knows what he's talking about.

    Even ridiculously immature ENFPs will admit to liking someone, especially to that person, and ESPECIALLY if it is reciprocated.

    I'm getting lost in my ability to help/console you because I keep on thinking, this dude does NOT sound like an ENFP.

    :confused:
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  4. #34
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    ^ He knows what he's talking about.

    Even ridiculously immature ENFPs will admit to liking someone, especially to that person, and ESPECIALLY if it is reciprocated.

    I'm getting lost in my ability to help/console you because I keep on thinking, this dude does NOT sound like an ENFP.

    :confused:
    It's possible he never admitted to liking me because of the long-distance gf. OR because he didnt want to rattle me emotionally again and get my hopes up. But there's no doubt he's ENFP. Definitely not ENTP.


    I kept calling it rejection and he kept saying YOU WERE NEVER REJECTED! That's as close as he came to admitting that he liked me...I mean one time he said it directly while we were having fun at an art show. But it was in a very flirtatious manner and atmosphere. I dunno...

    Oh wait I remember...I kept observing him interacting with other people and how he would put this nice front, and then when they'd leave he would make a face, as if he didnt really like people. I asked: "Do you feel like that about everyone you talk to? including me?" And he said NO, I actually LIKE YOU.

  5. #35
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    ffs we don't treat everyone that way!! do you all not get how much authenticity means to us? you think we do shit just to be nice? whew...sorry for the dramatics...just keep hearing this and it's not true.
    Sorry, I didn't mean to be imprecise by saying "everyone."

    No, being ENFP doesn't mean that you're treating everyone as special, but rather that your natural enthusiasm is easily misinterpreted by others, especially when younger.

    It's a communication issue due to differing standards, not any sort of "inauthenticity" on the part of ENFPs, in general.

  6. #36
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    Me - 25 / ENFP - 26

    Mutual infatuation for an entire year at work. Push/pull. Few first dates initiated by him. Kissing on/off throughout the year initiated by him. Never slept with the guy, thank GOD. General friendship as well.

    100% sure he's ENFP. Very strong E and P (just how I like 'em ). Probably Enneagram 7.

    I haven't had too much experience with guys (in very INTJ fashion). He on the other hand...
    What makes you sure it was a mutual infatuation?

    I know my fellow EPs when I encounter them, but there exists ENTPs, ENFPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, all uniquely different.

    Love is sooooooooooooooo important to us, even infatuation, (ENFPs).

    ENFPs tend to go for the gold, no holds barred when it comes to love.

    Like, we will throw ourselves out there, if we think there's potential, and, if it's not working out, if we are mature, we'll explicitly state so, and gently pull away, and if we are immature, and afraid of confrontation, namely, fearful of explicitly rejecting someone, we will cowardly walk away instead of face what seems like the impossible task of hurting someone we care about. :/

    But, I just don't know, I'm racking my brain with all of my past experiences with men and how this guy is treating you just doesn't compute.

    I honestly don't think he's an ENFP. fwiw.

    We're not in the business of leading people on, like I mentioned before, love is immensely important to us, as is friendship.

    We are by no means perfect, but we genuinely care about those we let it, the way he seems so nonchalant and exceedingly immature regarding this scenario just seems indicative of an immensely immature ETP, not an EFP.

    What makes you think this guy's got Fi?

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  7. #37
    Senior Member thescientist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillySapienne View Post
    What makes you sure it was a mutual infatuation?

    I know my fellow EPs when I encounter them, but there exists ENTPs, ENFPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, all uniquely different.

    Love is sooooooooooooooo important to us, even infatuation, (ENFPs).

    ENFPs tend to go for the gold, no holds barred when it comes to love.

    Like, we will throw ourselves out there, if we think there's potential, and, if it's not working out, if we are mature, we'll explicitly state so, and gently pull away, and if we are immature, and afraid of confrontation, namely, fearful of explicitly rejecting someone, we will cowardly walk away instead of face what seems like the impossible task of hurting someone we care about. :/

    But, I just don't know, I'm racking my brain with all of my past experiences with men and how this guy is treating you just doesn't compute.

    I honestly don't think he's an ENFP. fwiw.

    We're not in the business of leading people on, like I mentioned before, love is immensely important to us, as is friendship.

    We are by no means perfect, but we genuinely care about those we let it, the way he seems so nonchalant and exceedingly immature regarding this scenario just seems indicative of an immensely immature ETP, not an EFP.

    What makes you think this guy's got Fi?

    I had asked him if he had ever taken Myers-Briggs test and he responded ENFJ....but there's no way he's ENFJ. This guy definitely keeps his options open. I can see how a test would have given him "J" as he follows through with his projects and is punctual etc. But the mofo is ENFP and the silly switch is so there. I witnessed his behavior an entire year. He's sensitive and impulsive. All the guys in my row were feelers. Except for the INTJ that sat next to me, which ENFP also had a friendship with. He would get "hurt" all the time by the coworkers around him. TRUST ME...ENFP. 100% sure.

    He was just rationalizing it the whole time. He knew he liked me, but knew it wouldnt work in the long run. Actually, I think he told me this in our last conversation.

    Anyway...i was just longing for him after 3 months...and just wondering where his head was at...but no use in wondering about it. It is what it is...

  8. #38
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thescientist View Post
    It's possible he never admitted to liking me because of the long-distance gf. OR because he didnt want to rattle me emotionally again and get my hopes up. But there's no doubt he's ENFP. Definitely not ENTP.


    I kept calling it rejection and he kept saying YOU WERE NEVER REJECTED! That's as close as he came to admitting that he liked me...I mean one time he said it directly while we were having fun at an art show. But it was in a very flirtatious manner and atmosphere. I dunno...

    Oh wait I remember...I kept observing him interacting with other people and how he would put this nice front, and then when they'd leave he would make a face, as if he didnt really like people. I asked: "Do you feel like that about everyone you talk to? including me?" And he said NO, I actually LIKE YOU.
    *scratches head*

    The first part, I can kind of relate to, I used to be in an on and off LDR with a guy for nearly a decade, and during this strange relationship, I'd engage myself with other men, hell, I even got in serious relationships with other men, but I can't split my heart in two, I can share different facets of my personality with different people, but if ever in the position where I feel my heart is being pulled by two different forces/people, I fall apart, you can blame that on having Fi values, which is actually a good thing.

    One thing about being an EP is that when we are there, present, we are there.

    But, at least for me, it is difficult to maintain a deep connection with someone who is far away, I have been guilty of maintaining platonic relationships with men during stints of loneliness where these men would develop romantic feelings towards me, and in a moment of weakness, I would cross some line, and reap the repercussions, I do think that it is difficult for some people to ascertain whether the love we feel for them is platonic or romantic, shit, I've had ridiculously intimate relationships with guys I've never slept with, not even close, but we still had a special relationship where we both got to know each other well.

    Now, the bolded part of what you wrote does not resonate AT ALL.

    We don't front, unless we ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO!!!

    I'm talking like when the cops roll through, seriously.

    We don't front, that's just NOT US.

    To the point of acting/being inappropriate we will maintain a sense of authenticity because we hate phoniness in general, and especially exhibited in social situations, ewwww.

    Hmmmm, I honestly don't think this guy's an ENFP.
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  9. #39
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    DUDE, I was going to say, this guy sounds like an Fe user, and well, there you go.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

  10. #40
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Let it also be known that I had my heart CRUSHED by a, confirmed, ENFJ once.

    He totally led me on, and then, poof, left.



    He was a total prick.

    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

    Veritatem dies aperit

    Ride si sapis

    Intelligentle sparkles

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