[NF] The NF Females' List of Deal Breakers

[Esoteric Wench]

Orobas and Phoenix_400, you are both cracking me up.

 

[briochick]

No men who are into time travel. Time travel is totally a deal breaker for me.

:throws a tarp over his TARDIS:

ops smoke:

hahahaha!!!

 

[Quiet]

Ok's:


sweetness
pda's
affectionate
communicative
clean
kind
expressive
TRUSTWORTHY
dependable
empathetic
goal orrientated



Dealbreakers:


drugs
porn (and roving eyes)
pervertedness
unchecked addictions of any sort
unaware of self's feelings or feelings of others
wierd fettishes (lol)
a past riddled with std's (also lol)
apathetic
imaturity
too old or too young
unambitious


I know, I'm totally anal.

 

[MacGuffin]

I know, I'm totally anal.

Just INFJ!

 

[Rainne]

No men who are into time travel. Time travel is totally a deal breaker for me.

You disappoint me...

 

[ergophobe]

This list is for all those people who think that NF women can't cut the wheat from the chaff because we're too nice. Well think again. NF women can and do have deal breakers.*

Please break your list into these three sections:

1. Must Haves
2. Rather Nots
3. Deal Breakers

*This thread is inspired by the NT Females' Deal Breakers thread on the NT Rationale forum.

Fun!
Physically, the people I've been attracted to have had different body types so there's no clear pattern there. In other ways, I'll list some commonalities:

Must Haves:
1. Good communication skills. Sue me, I likes to talk about things.
2. Common Sense in abundance. I don't care how many other wonderful traits the person may possess, this one is crucial.
3. Consideration. Being able to think beyond oneself and one's immediate needs. I know this seems obvious but has been found wanting in the past.
4. A clear idea of honesty/personal integrity. I find this is often a gray area which is less gray for me.
5. Passion.- doesn't matter what the area is but a certain level of enthusiasm/commitment to an interest/cause/goal has been much appreciated.

Usually attracted to:
A generous dose of nerdiness mixed with a pinch of social awkwardness and a dash of shyness

Deal Breakers:
1. Evangelical about their religion, whichever it may be or the lack of one.
2. Makes decisions about "us" individually without input or a conversation.
3. Arrogance without a shred of humility. Don't get me wrong, I really like confidence and a little bragging is quite sexy but there's a clear threshold. 4. Unkind to children/animals/elderly/anyone who can't defend themselves.
5. Long term dependence of any kind ~= not carrying their share of the load.

P.S. Time traveling is okay as long as they're back in time for dinner. I'm a stickler for meal times.
Thinking zombies are a serious concern, on the other hand, is a totally different story

 

[Phoenix_400]

P.S. Time traveling is okay as long as they're back in time for dinner. I'm a stickler for meal times.

WHOOHOO!!!!
:yanks tarp off of his TARDIS:

Thinking zombies are a serious concern, on the other hand, is a totally different story

...

DAMMIT!!!!

:Buries his ruck sack and AR15 in the backyard:

No winnin', I tell ya. NONE!

:walks away grumblin':

 

[neptunesnet]

Must Haves:

• Bright
• Christian
• Self-Aware, Perceptive
• An “Idea Person”
• Understanding
• Politically Informed
• Humble and Appreciative
• Natural Chemistry, Connection
• Good Taste in Books, Music, Films, etc.
• Has a Dry, Weird Sense of Humor (similar to mine)
• Exhibits the 3 R's: Respect, Reliability, and Responsibility
• Mature (specifically: loyal, honest, goal-oriented, and so forth)
• Stands Up for What He Believes In/Has a Spine
• Individualistic, Has a Sense of Self
• HAS A MORAL SYSTEM (that matches mine)!!

Would Likes:

• Large Hands (I’m weird, I know)
• Creative or Artsy
• Friendly or Outgoing
• Educated
• Worldliness
• Likes Bear Hugs
• Takes the Initiative
• Likes Walks/Bike Rides
• Passionate About Something
• Some Kind of Talent (preferably playing an instrument)

Rather Nots:

• Impatient
• Arrogance or Pretense
• Smoker or Heavy Drinker/ History of Alcoholism
• Overly Romantic (to the point of nausea and banality)
• Religiously Fanatic over College Football (I grew up with it in the South – no more!)
• Vulgar Sense of Humor (knows and recites way too many dick jokes)
• “Backwards Baseball Cap” Guy or “Fruitier Than Peaches” Guy
• Poor Eating Habits, Poor Hygiene, and Poor Health Choices
• Loyal (Political) Party Members or… Libertarians
• Under 5’3” | Over 6’5”
• Abhors Pets

Deal Breakers:

• Has Kids
• A Bad Listener
• Requires Blowjobs
• Greedy, Power-Hungry
• Insincere, Superficial, or Hypocritical
• Porn Use or Has Wandering Eye Syndrome
• Too Emotionally Unavailable or Suffocating
• “By the Book” Guy or “Eastern Religion” Guy
• Any History of Violence (especially domestic)
• Extensive History of Infidelity or Addiction (of any kind)
• Manipulator (emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.)
• Advocates Ignorant & Intolerant Behavior (Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, etc.)
• Abhors Children and all Animals (I’m very suspicious of people who dislike children)
• Anyone Who Frequently Says Things Like “Why Does It Matter?” or “Stop Intellectualizing Everything!”

THAT WAS FUN!

 

[runvardh]

WHOOHOO!!!!
:yanks tarp off of his TARDIS:


...

DAMMIT!!!!

:Buries his ruck sack and AR15 in the backyard:

No winnin', I tell ya. NONE!

:walks away grumblin':

Leave them out and visible; if she really likes you she won't care. Bonus points if she thinks its sexy.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

Fun!
Physically, the people I've been attracted to have had different body types so there's no clear pattern there. In other ways, I'll list some commonalities:

Must Haves:
1. Good communication skills. Sue me, I likes to talk about things.
2. Common Sense in abundance. I don't care how many other wonderful traits the person may possess, this one is crucial.
3. Consideration. Being able to think beyond oneself and one's immediate needs. I know this seems obvious but has been found wanting in the past.
4. A clear idea of honesty/personal integrity. I find this is often a gray area which is less gray for me.
5. Passion.- doesn't matter what the area is but a certain level of enthusiasm/commitment to an interest/cause/goal has been much appreciated.

Usually attracted to:
A generous dose of nerdiness mixed with a pinch of social awkwardness and a dash of shyness

Deal Breakers:
1. Evangelical about their religion, whichever it may be or the lack of one.
2. Makes decisions about "us" individually without input or a conversation.
3. Arrogance without a shred of humility. Don't get me wrong, I really like confidence and a little bragging is quite sexy but there's a clear threshold. 4. Unkind to children/animals/elderly/anyone who can't defend themselves.
5. Long term dependence of any kind ~= not carrying their share of the load.

P.S. Time traveling is okay as long as they're back in time for dinner. I'm a stickler for meal times.
Thinking zombies are a serious concern, on the other hand, is a totally different story

This is a good list. Deal breaker #2 - My INTJ ex used to do this and it really, really, really drove me crazy.

I'd date a Time Lord... It's the long scarf that might be too much. There wouldn't be enough room for me, him, and his scarf in the bed.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

Must Haves:

• Bright
• Christian
• Self-Aware, Perceptive
• An “Idea Person”
• Understanding
• Politically Informed
• Humble and Appreciative
• Natural Chemistry, Connection
• Good Taste in Books, Music, Films, etc.
• Has a Dry, Weird Sense of Humor (similar to mine)
• Exhibits the 3 R's: Respect, Reliability, and Responsibility
• Mature (specifically: loyal, honest, goal-oriented, and so forth)
• Stands Up for What He Believes In/Has a Spine
• Individualistic, Has a Sense of Self
• HAS A MORAL SYSTEM (that matches mine)!!

Would Likes:

• Large Hands (I’m weird, I know)
• Creative or Artsy
• Friendly or Outgoing
• Educated
• Worldliness
• Likes Bear Hugs
• Takes the Initiative
• Likes Walks/Bike Rides
• Passionate About Something
• Some Kind of Talent (preferably playing an instrument)

Rather Nots:

• Impatient
• Arrogance or Pretense
• Smoker or Heavy Drinker/ History of Alcoholism
• Overly Romantic (to the point of nausea and banality)
• Religiously Fanatic over College Football (I grew up with it in the South – no more!)
• Vulgar Sense of Humor (knows and recites way too many dick jokes)
• “Backwards Baseball Cap” Guy or “Fruitier Than Peaches” Guy
• Poor Eating Habits, Poor Hygiene, and Poor Health Choices
• Loyal (Political) Party Members or… Libertarians
• Under 5’3” | Over 6’5”
• Abhors Pets

Deal Breakers:

• Has Kids
• A Bad Listener
• Requires Blowjobs
• Greedy, Power-Hungry
• Insincere, Superficial, or Hypocritical
• Porn Use or Has Wandering Eye Syndrome
• Too Emotionally Unavailable or Suffocating
• “By the Book” Guy or “Eastern Religion” Guy
• Any History of Violence (especially domestic)
• Extensive History of Infidelity or Addiction (of any kind)
• Manipulator (emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.)
• Advocates Ignorant & Intolerant Behavior (Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, etc.)
• Abhors Children and all Animals (I’m very suspicious of people who dislike children)
• Anyone Who Frequently Says Things Like “Why Does It Matter?” or “Stop Intellectualizing Everything!”

THAT WAS FUN!

OK, this is absolutely my favorite list so far. Couple of questions/comments:

• Religiously Fanatic over College Football (I grew up with it in the South – no more!) - Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm sooooo sick of it, too. Oh the South. Yesterday it was on page 1a in the newspaper... above the fold... and it's not even football season yet.
• Fruitier Than Peaches - Huh? I don't understand the allusion.
• Requires Blowjobs - How can I put this delicately? Is it that you don't like engaging in them or the fact that it would be required? LOL!
• Large Hands (I’m weird, I know) - I love when women put random things like this on their lists. It's so fascinating to see how complex and random people are. I've got a thing about well-groomed eyebrows. Who knows why.

PS (neptunesnet, is that you in your avatar picture? That's a pretty darn cool photograph.)

 

[neptunesnet]

OK, this is absolutely my favorite list so far.

Awesome Thank you.

Religiously Fanatic over College Football (I grew up with it in the South – no more!) - Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm sooooo sick of it, too. Oh the South. Yesterday it was on page 1a in the newspaper... above the fold... and it's not even football season yet.

Tell me about it! I grew up in Alabama, which is football nation! If you didn't pledge allegiance to either Auburn or 'Bama, you were often alienated.

Fruitier Than Peaches - Huh? I don't understand the allusion.

Just saying that if the guy wears more hair product than I do or fits the metrosexual description like textbook then I'd be more than a little turned-off.

Requires Blowjobs - How can I put this delicately? Is it that you don't like engaging in them or the fact that it would be required? LOL!

That I'm required to do them. I have some really strong opinions on this one.

Large Hands (I’m weird, I know) - I love when women put random things like this on their lists. It's so fascinating to see how complex and random people are. I've got a thing about well-groomed eyebrows. Who knows why.

:blushing: ...I don't know - there's something about a man with large hands.

PS (neptunesnet, is that you in your avatar picture? That's a pretty darn cool photograph.)

No, I wish! She's a British model named Bettine McCabe. I love the picture, too.

 

[MacGuffin]

Religiously Fanatic over College Football (I grew up with it in the South – no more!) - Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm sooooo sick of it, too. Oh the South. Yesterday it was on page 1a in the newspaper... above the fold... and it's not even football season yet.

If it's the story I'm thinking of, it is def. worthy of page 1a status.

Of course, if it's not... then you do live in a football-crazy area.

 

[Phoenix_400]

I'd date a Time Lord... It's the long scarf that might be too much. There wouldn't be enough room for me, him, and his scarf in the bed.

:tosses shovel he was using to bury his zombie apocalypse gea....errr, he was working in the garden with:

Give the scarf a chance. It has many possible uses that actually make it a benefit in the bedroom (blindfold, soft restraints, etc. ). Why, it doesn't even take up any space if used for drapes on a nice 4 poster canopy bed.

Tell me about it! I grew up in Alabama, which is football nation! If you didn't pledge allegiance to either Auburn or 'Bama, you were often alienated.

You speak truth. I was a 'Bama native, born and raised. They chased me outta the state with pitchforks and torches because I'm not a football fan. True story

: Disappears....without a trace:

 

[OrangeAppled]

That I'm required to do them. I have some really strong opinions on this one.

I don't think I'd want to be required to do any sex act. There may be expectations, but nothing obligatory or demanded...

 

[neptunesnet]

I don't think I'd want to be required to do any sex act. There may be expectations, but nothing obligatory or demanded...

Well, yeah, but I was more or less making fun of my image on this forum as "Anti-Blowjob Girl." I mostly added it onto the list in jest, but I do know there are certain types of men who are fanatical about them and even prefer them over intercourse. Those men would be deal breakers for me, yeah.

 

[runvardh]

I have yet to be wowed enough by a blowjob to see it as an expectation. The fact that sex happens is about all I really care about, the rest is details that should be part of the fun.

 

[hitzjazzcat]

Must Haves:
1. Ability to hold an intelligent conversation
2. A job
3. Compassion
4. Lust for life
5. Tattoos and/or appreciation for individual artistic expression
6. Love of music
7. High sex drive

Rather Nots:
1. Been to jail
2. Problematic drinking/drug use
3. Bi-sexual
4. Loud
5. Frivolous
6. Painfully shy or overly passive

Deal-Breakers:
1. Violent
2. Argumentative
3. Guns
4. Conservative
5. Bad personal hygiene
6. Lack of education
7. Intolerance
8. Inability to relate to others

 

[ReadingRainbows]

Metrosexuals - Are a yes please for me

I think that these shopping lists for men are really picky though. You might be walking down the street and see someone and you will just know, hey I want THAT ONE! There really is no formula for perfection, and I know its nice to think, but you really really with know what you want when you see it.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

Must Haves:
1. Ability to hold an intelligent conversation
2. A job
3. Compassion
4. Lust for life
5. Tattoos and/or appreciation for individual artistic expression
6. Love of music
7. High sex drive

Rather Nots:
1. Been to jail
2. Problematic drinking/drug use
3. Bi-sexual
4. Loud
5. Frivolous
6. Painfully shy or overly passive

Deal-Breakers:
1. Violent
2. Argumentative
3. Guns
4. Conservative
5. Bad personal hygiene
6. Lack of education
7. Intolerance
8. Inability to relate to others

I BUSTED A GUT when I read that one. (See highlighted above.)