[NF] The NF Females' List of Deal Breakers

[A window to the soul]

Well, I have dated guys who did not fit that list (I think they helped me form that list)....it's not like I walk around with that in mind, but when I stop & think about it - yeah, that's my ideal.

I hope (and assume) you could describe your ideal more positively and uniquely.
That might be an interesting exercise.

grrr.. Hey, be sweet!

 

[murkrow]

Nice to Have:
1. Gives great massages
2. Likes to food prep, bake, do laundry, vacuum.
3. Handyman with computers.

Ok.. all jokes aside:
Must Haves:
1. Bosom Buddy bond- Best Friend.
2. Similar sense of humor
3. Quality heart (treats everyone with respect from young kids to elders, humble, kind)
4. Loves his family
5. Similar values

I think the most important one for me is his heart and similar sense of humor. His heart- because integrity speaks volumes about faithfulness and how committed a person is. Sense of humor? Life's tough. If we both can crack each other up without even trying? Makes the ride that much ezr! Oh and- someone who likes to give piggy back rides, read me a book, and offers a helping hand to strangers. Warm-hearted, spontaneous/down with whatevers.

Are you saying disrespect is symptomatic of a faulty heart?

I will fuck you up.

 

[slowriot]

So heres my response to some lists....

1. Must Haves
Very intelligent (okay Im atleast above average)
Strong moral integrity & standards yes
Spiritual yes
Physically attractive to me not really going to be
Kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, encouraging, supportive yes
Emotionally stable yes
Loyal yes very
Responsible im intp so that might not be something I am a lot
Affectionate same thing as above but Im average
Can lead/take initiative actually I can take the lead, I expect that I should actually
Good communication skills yes
That undefinable chemistry/spark who knows

1 1/2. Would likes
Compatible interests/tastes - art, music, food, travel, etc. I think all in all we have the same or close atleast
Compatible humor - witty &/or silly, but no comedian needed yes if you like intp humor
Creative, special talent/expertise/passion for something sort of not really something in particular but all in all, yes
Intellectual, book smarts, analytical side I would say I am
Altruistic No
Warm & expressive No, or above average compared to other NT's
Spontaneous & adventurous - likes NEW things yes
Driven/motivated hmmmmm, thats tough, maybe I am driven
Sexay no
Good style/grooming hmmmm, no
ENFJ No, not at all

2. Rather Nots
Lots of tattoos no tattooes, yes
Atheist and/or disrespectful of my beliefs not atheist yes
Sports freak, or generally more physical than cerebral Im more cerebral than physical but I do enjoy some sports
Bald not bald, yes
Very fat or skinny No
Ugly dress & grooming Hmmmm, average
Passive / clingy / whiny I can be passive yes, but Im getting better at not being passive
Very reserved/cold Im average cold
Loud yes Im not loud
Health nut or very unhealthy habits Hmmm, as a fat person Im not either, which might surprise some

3. Deal Breakers
Opposites of my must-haves. we already covered that
All the usual stuff: violent, drug use/abuse, dishonest, married, bad hygiene, lazy, etc... Im sure I would fit to those things
Argumentative, condescending, rude Im not, so yes
Alcoholism (that is not in check) I like a bottle of wine once a week or so...
Porn fan Im not a porn fan, so yes
Smoking Im not smoking
Kids No kids
Obese I am kind of obese
Asexual Im not entirely asexual, its pretty much average
Obnoxious I dont think so
Military / police / owns a gun I have no guns or never would want one
Domineering Its about common respect for me, so Im not domineering
Stupid relationship games, manipulative I would never do that

Man, I could keep going....I swear I am more negotiable than this

wow that was a lot, will respond to others in due time, Im lazy, sorry orange appled might be a break dealer for you *sad face*

 

[OrangeAppled]

I hope (and assume) you could describe your ideal more positively and uniquely.

That might be an interesting exercise.

Why am I being picked on for being honest?
Should I lie and say I'd be open to dating anyone (pulse optional)? :rolli:
Should I say, "Yes, I'd be open to dating a lying, violent drug addict who is lazy and obnoxious." I realize those guys get dates, but I have no problem weeding them out.

EDIT: see, SlowRiot pretty much made it through the gate

 

[stringstheory]

I'm gonna add a list for "prefers" on here, ok? Ok

Must Haves

1. Intelligence
2. Educated/interest in learning or exploring new ideas
3. Non-religious (aka anyone who believes in the contemporary concept of "God", sorry)
4. Fun loving and/or a childlike joy. I am willing to accept immaturity as a side-effect of these qualities.
5. Kindness/empathy/sensitive (towards me )

Prefers

1. Nerds/gamers
2. (Quirky) sense of humour
3. 'J' types; i'm a very strong 'P' and i like those who can keep me grounded
4. Though i prefer someone who is "not religious", preferably enthusiastic about science (though not necessarily on the same spiritual level as me)
5. Subverts gender/other social norms, whether intentionally or not
6. Ambivalent about children
7. Politically aware and/or empathetic for those less fortunate
8. Awareness of differences of personality (whether it's MBTI or anything else) and willingness to work with them
   Rather Nots
   1. Competitiveness/Sports fans. Sorry i don't give a shit and i'd prefer not to have to deal with you caring.
   2. Not affectionate, or not willing to be a little more affectionate for my sake.
   3. Of the 'S' persuasion. Sorry, every strong Senser i've ever been with doesn't get me at all, and i don't get them.
   Deal Breakers
   1. Pushy/arrogant
   2. Self-absorbed
   3. Adheres to social norms without question
   4. Conservative, especially socially. Sorry we won't get along in a relationship, i work with gays.
   5. Controlling/violent

 

[murkrow]

Why am I being picked on for being honest?
Should I lie and say I'd be open to dating anyone (pulse optional)? :rolli:
Should I say, "Yes, I'd be open to dating a lying, violent drug addict who is lazy and obnoxious." I realize those guys get dates, but I have no problem weeding them out.

You should reread what I wrote, that's what you should do.

 

[murkrow]

Abra, Srsly? Which part of all jokes aside wasn't clear? If you want to start shit, go elsewhere. I'm stating what I feel in a light-hearted manner. :chill:

If I held a mirror to your face would you say hello?

 

[A window to the soul]

^

Why am I being picked on for being honest?
Should I lie and say I'd be open to dating anyone (pulse optional)? :rolli:
Should I say, "Yes, I'd be open to dating a lying, violent drug addict who is lazy and obnoxious." I realize those guys get dates, but I have no problem weeding them out.

You should reread what I wrote, that's what you should do.

what a meanie!

EDIT: -thinkin ENTJ's suck!-

Please don't bully my friends! -HINT, HINT-

 

[Thalassa]

EDIT: -thinkin ENTJ's suck!-

thinkin ENTJs are hilarious

 

[murkrow]

what a meanie!

EDIT: -thinkin ENTJ's suck!-

Please don't bully my friends! -HINT, HINT-

Could I get a translation here?

 

[A window to the soul]

Could I get a translation here?

^

 

[OrangeAppled]

You should reread what I wrote, that's what you should do.

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
[he'll] get my support
[He] will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
[He'll] hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact [he'll] often disagree
But at the end of it all
[he] will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things

But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it

-----

You didn't say original.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

1. Must Haves

• Self-awareness
• Sense of humor
• Lack of political correctness
• Some empathy
• Decent intelligence
• Variety in interests
• Mutual love or something damn close to it
  (likely more, but i'll get around to it if need be)

2. Rather Nots

• Religious
• Excessive introversion
• Sports-obsessed
• Alcoholics / druggies / smokers
• Obnoxious porn habits or collection
• Vegetarian
• HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY

3. Deal Breakers

• Wanting to spawn... i mean.. children.
• Has bottom-feeders.. i mean.. children.
• Too sensitive (aka has more of a vagina than me)
• Excessively clingy
• "I'm right, you're wrong" syndrome
• Lack of compromise
• Manipulative
• Vegan

Btw- i am well aware that i'm an a-hole :blushing:

I have not laughed so hard in days. Thank you, thank you, and right on sista!

 

[murkrow]

OrangeAppled: Amen to that poem. Well said!

I have not laughed so hard in days. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

[OrangeAppled]

I have not laughed so hard in days. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

What? No love for Depeche Mode?
THAT'S A DEALBREAKER!!!

 

[A window to the soul]

OrangeAppled: Amen to that poem. Well said!

I have not laughed so hard in days. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

awww, kissies and huggies. clearly you need it! lol

 

[murkrow]

That's all I wanted.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

1. Must Haves
Very intelligent
Strong moral integrity & standards
Spiritual
Physically attractive to me
Kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, encouraging, supportive
Emotionally stable
Loyal
Responsible
Affectionate
Can lead/take initiative
Good communication skills
That undefinable chemistry/spark

1 1/2. Would likes
Compatible interests/tastes - art, music, food, travel, etc.
Compatible humor - witty &/or silly, but no comedian needed
Creative, special talent/expertise/passion for something
Intellectual, book smarts, analytical side
Altruistic
Warm & expressive
Spontaneous & adventurous - likes NEW things
Driven/motivated
Sexay
Good style/grooming
ENFJ

2. Rather Nots
Lots of tattoos
Atheist and/or disrespectful of my beliefs
Sports freak, or generally more physical than cerebral
Bald
Very fat or skinny
Ugly dress & grooming
Passive / clingy / whiny
Very reserved/cold
Loud
Health nut or very unhealthy habits

3. Deal Breakers
Opposites of my must-haves.
All the usual stuff: violent, drug use/abuse, dishonest, married, bad hygiene, lazy, etc...
Argumentative, condescending, rude
Alcoholism (that is not in check)
Porn fan
Smoking
Kids
Obese
Asexual
Obnoxious
Military / police / owns a gun
Domineering
Stupid relationship games, manipulative

Man, I could keep going....I swear I am more negotiable than this

This is a good list. I may have to throw mine out and co-opt yours. (Except that I'll have to add back in my thing on the hirsute tendencies.)

 

[OrangeAppled]

(Except that I'll have to add back in my thing on the hursuitness.)

What is that anyway?

 

[Thalassa]

What is that anyway?

being hairy