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  1. #441
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    The statement I was making initially was that the man would have to essentially continuously jump hoops and break their back to stay inside the seemingly extremely slim band which would allow attraction to continue. However I was asking the question whether said woman deserves such a man who meets her expectations in the first place? They are very specific (even if they are not quantified in an objective sense) and if the ideal man also has expectations of his own then one would have to sacrifice and judging from some of the posters in this thread it would not be them. Why should it be the man instead? P.S. I was not criticising your choice at all or anyone's in particular, just the general theme.
    What are the hoops? Be specific. I mostly see personality qualities & lifestyle choices listed, not specific actions to please. Either someone is or isn't a certain way. There's nothing to maintain against your own will.... I don't see what has to be sacrificed if you both are a certain way prior to the relationship. I pretty much meet everything on my list or the complementary traits, if you interpret the must-haves as loosely as I meant them (ie. no one is "considerate" ALL the time), or view the dealbreakers in the extreme sense I meant them (I mean "argumentative" as a defining trait where someone is truculent & creates a hostile environment, not moments of cantankerousness or even healthy debates, which I like).

    What's funny to me is, when women go for abusive losers who treat them badly & have harmful vices, then (some) men complain that women only like bad boys, "want to be treated badly", don't appreciate stable, intelligent, nice guys, etc. But then, when women have standards which oppose those traits, we're "too picky". Hmmm....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #442
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    1. Must Haves
    • Beautiful
    • Passionate
    • Understanding


    2. Rather Nots
    • None


    3. Deal Breakers
    • Controlling
    • Dependent

  3. #443
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Each of my past 2 relationships ended due to similar "deal breakers." The guy's habits/lifestyle/perspective/mindset/etc, rather than reinforcing the direction I was trying to move my life, were working against my efforts. I realized this before either relationship got off the ground. So that's good. Kills chemistry for me though.

  4. #444
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Deal Breakers
    • Controlling
    • Dependent
    Basically someone independent around whom you can also be independent. I like that foundation. High five FPs

  5. #445
    Senior Member Abbey's Avatar
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    Ha wow, I didn't even think of that when I wrote it. Thanks

    It's the worst when someone is both controlling & dependent.

  6. #446
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abbey View Post
    Ha wow, I didn't even think of that when I wrote it. Thanks

    It's the worst when someone is both controlling & dependent.
    Oh I have never dated (possibly met?) anyone like that thankfully. Sounds awful.

  7. #447
    Sweet Ocean Cloud SD45T-2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    Prefer
    - Lumberjack-ish (kidding...not kidding )


    Or were you thinking something more along the lines of Red Green?
    1w2-6w5-3w2 so/sp

    "I took one those personality tests. It came back negative." - Dan Mintz

  8. #448
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    Must-haves:
    Great sense of humor/witty
    Some similar interests
    Independent
    Ambitious

    Rather not:
    Overweight
    Shorter than me
    Messy
    Religious

    Deal breaker:
    Violent
    Addictive Personality
    Enabler
    Controlling

  9. #449
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SD45T-2 View Post


    Or were you thinking something more along the lines of Red Green?
    Haha, that's pretty much the opposite of what I was thinking (in both cases). Basically someone who likes the outdoors as much as I do, is a hard worker, athletic and handy w/ an assortment of weapons and tools. My love of lumberjacks probably comes from the film Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (if we're talking in terms of media).
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

  10. #450
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    Are occasional bouts of greenman a deal breaker?

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