User Tag List

First 344243444546 Last

Results 431 to 440 of 453

  1. #431
    Senior Member fripping's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    nerd
    Posts
    162

    Default

    it's me, i'm the dealbreaker.

  2. #432
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,153

    Default

    Wow, if the terms and conditions the NF women have posted in this thread are relatively representative of the whole then I'm changing my preferences. Sounds like a very classic case of the costs outweighing the benefits, makes me wonder whether breaking your back to fall inside a woman's parameters would justify the results. Why do you feel like you deserve a man who would do that much and be that much?

    If I intend to meet someone I may have to tell them to stuff their lists and that she would have to meet my standards or else she's out the door. Just to be gender equal of course. It would make an interesting experiment at least to allow her to discover just how much/little her list means to her in the constant face of potential failure (at least how much I mean to her for that matter.)

  3. #433
    Member RoadPaveMent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    612 sp/so
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    82

    Default

    My must have's: believes in compassion for all, sensitive to social issues, sexually potent, has any possible mental illnesses under control, does not want children, somewhat effeminate (or female ;D), polyamorous but not promiscuous, able to hold a job, physically attracted to each other, good communication skills, wants to settle down in a middle-class area and not move around a lot.

    After reading other people's, I'd like to add: can tolerate a cat, does not think their religious beliefs would make me happier or more moral, or that they have to save my soul from hell, can be the dominant in bed, aged up to ten years older than me, but not that many years younger because then they wouldn't be an adult.

    I can't make a deal breaker list, though, bcuz it's too long, and often obvious.
    EII
    supine

    R|L|oAI
    neutral good
    intrapersonal intelligence

  4. #434
    Member DaniaWania's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    749 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    42

    Default

    Must Haves:
    Depth of Thinking, Reason
    Asks questions
    Open-Minded with a Wide World-view
    Artistic or with an Appreciation for Art
    Spiritual, non-Religious
    Egalitarian


    Would Like:
    Many common interests between us
    Hobbies
    Educated, i.e. Knowledgeable in some worthy field
    Young at heart, doesn't take self too seriously
    Sense of Humour
    Romantic, in a quirky way


    Deal Breaker:
    Religious
    Super masculine or feminine
    Aggressors and Pushovers
    "I am right, you are wrong" in discussions
    Obsession with death metal, pop, rap, hip-hop or dancehall
    Hollywood mentality - Obsession with parties, fashion, celebrity gossip
    New York Mentality - Obsession with money, social status, power
    Doesn't like reading
    Jar head sports fanatics
    Glued to the TV, video game
    Didn't enjoy JUNO

  5. #435
    Member DaniaWania's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    749 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    42

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    Wow, if the terms and conditions the NF women have posted in this thread are relatively representative of the whole then I'm changing my preferences. Sounds like a very classic case of the costs outweighing the benefits, makes me wonder whether breaking your back to fall inside a woman's parameters would justify the results. Why do you feel like you deserve a man who would do that much and be that much?

    If I intend to meet someone I may have to tell them to stuff their lists and that she would have to meet my standards or else she's out the door. Just to be gender equal of course. It would make an interesting experiment at least to allow her to discover just how much/little her list means to her in the constant face of potential failure (at least how much I mean to her for that matter.)
    Its never about breaking your back to meet someone's requirements. I don't think you should change who you are to make someone like you. Someone WILL like you for who you are... I trust that. I think my list is very specific, there aren't many people like me and there aren't many people who I would like (long term).. such is life. I am prepared to wait or do without because I know what I need.

    There is always compromise when people date, eventually you find out what you absolutely cannot stand and what you can... some women may be shallow or overly specific because they are inexperienced or they choose not to lower these standards based on experience.

    What are your standards? Answer them here or post a link to a previous response. Are you saying you have none or that everyone would agree that they are not unrealistic? Don't let the women in here shape your idea of NF women on the whole... unless of course you are seeing a trend here

    -Dania

  6. #436
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,153

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DaniaWania View Post
    Its never about breaking your back to meet someone requirements. I don't think one should change who they are to make someone like you. Someone WILL like you for who you are... trust that. I think my list is very specific, there aren't many people like me and the aren't many people who I would like (long term).. such is life. I am prepared to wait or do without because I know what I need.

    There is always compromise when people date, eventually you find out what you absolutely cannot stand and what you can... some women may be shallow or overly specific because they are inexperienced or they choose not to lower these standards based on experience.

    What are your standards? Answer them here or post a link to a previous response. Are you saying you have none or that everyone would agree that they are not unrealistic? Don't let the women in here shape your idea of NF women on the whole... unless of course you are seeing a trend here

    -Dania
    Excuse my above comment. I was in a bad mood at the time and reading the thread (and observation of the emerging pattern and trend) was the straw that broke the Camel's back. The statement I was making initially was that the man would have to essentially continuously jump hoops and break their back to stay inside the seemingly extremely slim band which would allow attraction to continue. However I was asking the question whether said woman deserves such a man who meets her expectations in the first place? They are very specific (even if they are not quantified in an objective sense) and if the ideal man also has expectations of his own then one would have to sacrifice and judging from some of the posters in this thread it would not be them. Why should it be the man instead? P.S. I was not criticising your choice at all or anyone's in particular, just the general theme.

    I was also stating at the end that in my case I would not break my back to jump through the hoops I mentioned above (even though I would not match the criteria in numerous cases.) Even though I am an NF male I am probably just like other men in that I don't really need a relationship to be happy. The woman would have to prove to me essentially that a long term relationship with them exceeds the potential cost of the sacrifice of potential self-actualisation which could have been achieved by having full autonomy over my life (as well as the benefits of being single.) If my partner put on the squeeze I would seriously consider leaving them rather than being someone who has to suffer to maintain the attraction and many men would be the same. A word of caution to you ladies there.

    My standards for a woman would be:

    - Good genetic diversity. The only criteria for this really is to have no inbreeding in your ancestry in the last 3 generations. This may be why I'm usually attracted to Asian women as the difference compared to my genetic background (Caucasian British) would soften any issues caused by recent inbreeding.
    - Able to interest me on an intellectual level. I am not a man to ask for the housework, cooking or cleaning to be done (if the need is there I would be ok with doing it myself) but someone I can learn from and debate with is something I can't do on my own.
    - Preferably good in bed, though I'm ok with celibacy and if the situation becomes dire I could always fall back on porn.
    - Would not be a financial drain. Blame the self-preservation in me but I'm a bit stingy. I'm happy to make you happy by sharing my money (I'm actually rather quite rich for a 25 year old) but I will become annoyed if it's carelessly squandered.

    As for physical attraction, there is no standard. Someone I was in love with once was less than five foot tall and I have been attracted to larger women in the past too. I don't know who I will find attractive beforehand (though Asian women have traditionally turned my head the easiest) but often its not who I should find. My colleagues call me insane (and even gay!) for being shown images of hot models and movie stars and ranking them low in terms of attraction and looks. The only issue is that the open ended nature of who I would find attractive is often ofset when I lose attraction in my current interest (if I really like someone however this does not occur.)

    Excuse the long response.

  7. #437
    Member DaniaWania's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    749 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    42

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    Excuse my above comment. I was in a bad mood at the time and reading the thread (and observation of the emerging pattern and trend) was the straw that broke the Camel's back. The statement I was making initially was that the man would have to essentially continuously jump hoops and break their back to stay inside the seemingly extremely slim band which would allow attraction to continue. However I was asking the question whether said woman deserves such a man who meets her expectations in the first place? They are very specific (even if they are not quantified in an objective sense) and if the ideal man also has expectations of his own then one would have to sacrifice and judging from some of the posters in this thread it would not be them. Why should it be the man instead? P.S. I was not criticising your choice at all or anyone's in particular, just the general theme.

    I was also stating at the end that in my case I would not break my back to jump through the hoops I mentioned above (even though I would not match the criteria in numerous cases.) Even though I am an NF male I am probably just like other men in that I don't really need a relationship to be happy. The woman would have to prove to me essentially that a long term relationship with them exceeds the potential cost of the sacrifice of potential self-actualisation which could have been achieved by having full autonomy over my life (as well as the benefits of being single.) If my partner put on the squeeze I would seriously consider leaving them rather than being someone who has to suffer to maintain the attraction and many men would be the same. A word of caution to you ladies there.

    My standards for a woman would be:

    - Good genetic diversity. The only criteria for this really is to have no inbreeding in your ancestry in the last 3 generations. This may be why I'm usually attracted to Asian women as the difference compared to my genetic background (Caucasian British) would soften any issues caused by recent inbreeding.
    - Able to interest me on an intellectual level. I am not a man to ask for the housework, cooking or cleaning to be done (if the need is there I would be ok with doing it myself) but someone I can learn from and debate with is something I can't do on my own.
    - Preferably good in bed, though I'm ok with celibacy and if the situation becomes dire I could always fall back on porn.
    - Would not be a financial drain. Blame the self-preservation in me but I'm a bit stingy. I'm happy to make you happy by sharing my money (I'm actually rather quite rich for a 25 year old) but I will become annoyed if it's carelessly squandered.

    As for physical attraction, there is no standard. Someone I was in love with once was less than five foot tall and I have been attracted to larger women in the past too. I don't know who I will find attractive beforehand (though Asian women have traditionally turned my head the easiest) but often its not who I should find. My colleagues call me insane (and even gay!) for being shown images of hot models and movie stars and ranking them low in terms of attraction and looks. The only issue is that the open ended nature of who I would find attractive is often ofset when I lose attraction in my current interest (if I really like someone however this does not occur.)

    Excuse the long response.
    You have been excused, since I read it all.

    News to me

    Agreed.

    Didn't understand that... but cool.

    Hilarious

    So, good sex and conversation with a certain race woman who isn't too expensive.
    I don't think you are unrealistic at all... kinda vague to me though but I guess you could keep up or put up with a lot of personalities.

    Your partner shouldn't be TOOO hard to find.
    "I am making a friendship application and 'Do you think JUNO (film) is awesome?' is a compulsory question..."
    ~A Malazan Fallen~
    DFTBA!

    ---

    58% RightBrained
    sp/sx[so]
    IEE
    ENFp
    7w6 4w5 9w8 - 749 Magical Thinker
    x|O|tWx
    sceuI
    Dismissive-Avoidant

  8. #438
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,153

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DaniaWania View Post
    You have been excused, since I read it all.

    News to me

    Agreed.

    Didn't understand that... but cool.

    Hilarious

    So, good sex and conversation with a certain race woman who isn't too expensive.
    I don't think you are unrealistic at all... kinda vague to me though but I guess you could keep up or put up with a lot of personalities.

    Your partner shouldn't be TOOO hard to find.
    The blue part is my experience speaking to a number of men, I made a mistake not expressing that it wasn't constant for all men.
    The red part was a bit of a clumsy term for me to use. I suppose a better is "your predecessors weren't Ptolemies."

  9. #439
    Member DaniaWania's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    749 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    42

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Standuble View Post
    The blue part is my experience speaking to a number of men, I made a mistake not expressing that it wasn't constant for all men.
    The red part was a bit of a clumsy term for me to use. I suppose a better is "your predecessors weren't Ptolemies."
    You are hilarious you know...
    and
    I had thought only a few weirdos like myself didn't need a relationship to be happy... now I am guessing women need to step back and re-prioritize.
    "I am making a friendship application and 'Do you think JUNO (film) is awesome?' is a compulsory question..."
    ~A Malazan Fallen~
    DFTBA!

    ---

    58% RightBrained
    sp/sx[so]
    IEE
    ENFp
    7w6 4w5 9w8 - 749 Magical Thinker
    x|O|tWx
    sceuI
    Dismissive-Avoidant

  10. #440
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Enneagram
    4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    976

    Default

    Getting in on this quite late-- I've always had a list though, so I may as well post!

    Must Have
    - Morals and Spiritual beleifs that align with my own (this is a personal conviction and needs not to be critiqued)
    - Strong sense of self and goals, I cannot complete you.
    - Passion for a vocation or hobby.
    - Intelligent.
    - Ability to find strength in vulnerability and humility.
    - Protective instinct that stems from love, not anger.
    - Actual physical strength to back up the above, I should not be able to beat you up (not that I would).
    - Sense of humor.
    - Good with kids, animals and the elderly. Showing kindness to those weaker than you.
    - Love of the outdoors, nature and expoloration.
    - Physically attractive to me and natural chemistry.

    Prefer
    - Lumberjack-ish (kidding...not kidding )
    - Romantic and thoughtful
    - Direct communicator

    Deal Breakers
    - The obvious: Illegal or destructive activities/tendancies
    - Toxic traits: dishonest (with self or others), controlling, abusive, lack of motivation or life progress, can't admit current or past failures, can't forgive.
    - Lack of personal hygeine.
    - Fake.
    - Conceited.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

Similar Threads

  1. The Grand List of Anime MBTI Types
    By LunarMoon in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 1092
    Last Post: 12-07-2017, 07:04 PM
  2. [NT] The NT Females' List of Deal Breakers
    By Misty_Mountain_Rose in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 112
    Last Post: 10-06-2012, 10:50 PM
  3. [NF] The NF Males' List of Deal Breakers (Rip off)
    By Yloh in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 115
    Last Post: 07-05-2010, 05:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO