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  1. #371
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I've been meaning to post for a long time, but when it came to it I couldn't write down my thoughts and I ended up spending almost a week thinking about what I really want

    Here goes a rather incomplete list:

    Must haves:
    - Open-mindedness
    - Emotional availability
    - Proper respect for all life and all things in the universe
    - Values monogamy and long-term relationships

    Rather nots:
    - Dangerous hobbies (I'm Se-deficient and don't enjoy those at all)
    - Doesn't want kids ever

    Deal-breakers:
    - Lack of humility (the "I'm better than everybody" attitude)
    - Misogynistic, racist, overly patriotic or religious, etc. (the "My-[whatever]-is-better-than-other-[whatever]s" attitude)
    - Materialistic/shallow
    - Reckless


    In short, I just need another bright-eyed self-aware human-being, with a do-no-harm attitude, who wants to walk with me on this journey towards understanding life and the universe

  2. #372
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    - Dangerous hobbies (I'm Se-deficient and don't enjoy those at all)
    You think you have sh*tty Se, what about me?

    INFJ—Ni>Fe>Ti>Se>Ne>Fi>Te>Si
    ENFP—Ne>Fi>Te>Si>Ni>Fe>Ti>Se

    That made me laugh.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I just need another bright-eyed self-aware human-being, with a do-no-harm attitude, who wants to walk with me on this journey towards understanding life and the universe
    I thought this was beautiful. It literally made me suck in my breath... And if I could sum up in one sentence (all joking, silly lists aside) what I was looking for in a significant other, it would be this. I always enjoy your posts 21%. So I'm glad you ruminated on it for the past week and decided to share.

  3. #373
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    You're making an awful lot of assumptions here. I stated the information I would like supplied; not the results I would settle for.

    The most accurate and reliable indicator of how a man will treat you in a relationship can be deduced from observing how his father treats his mother.

    I would like my husband to have a good relationship with his mother for other reasons.
    While I agree in principle with the idea of observing a person's family relationships and gleaning useful information from it, I can't quite agree about the "how his father treats his mother is probably how he will treat you" just because I've seen so many exceptions to it. IME, if a guy is a good guy he's not likely to treat his partner badly, even if he has a douchey dad. And people whose parents are divorced are not lost causes.

    Having said that, I did want to see my partner respecting his mother, but also not being overly attached to her as an adult man.
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  4. #374
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    First of all, Babylon Candle, what are your five things? Come'on, let's hear it. You've gotta cough'em up now.
    well, I'm a man...(so this is the wrong thread), but you asked:

    Wants & Needs:

    1. Cute (Don’t want a high maintenance super model)
    2. Reliable (Not a flake)
    3. Clear and Direct Communicator (No games)
    4. Sensitive (Not someone who is emotionless)
    5. Thrives with a S.O. of ‘intense’ personality

    I think I probably would work best with a "non-party animal" SP.

  5. #375
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    3. Clear and Direct Communicator (No games)
    Says the ENFJ? Hah-larious!


  6. #376
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neptunesnet View Post
    Says the ENFJ? Hah-larious!

    thats the issue though!

    my natural style of communication, for so long:
    <> got me out of binds
    <> danced around difficult issues
    <> was only clear to people who already "intuitively" got what I was getting at

    It was only doing "half the job". Explicit communicators weren't getting me, and thus they'd then be unclear with me back...and so that hurts communication overall. So I recently have taken on more explicit communication. Its like transformative! It helps me feel more balanced to try to filter my thoughts into being more explicit. I could never actually be a great explicit person, so when I try, I end up somewhere wonderfully in the middle!

    I've noticed though that sadly its still not my default way of communicating. I think I just realize that having two "implicit communicators" in a relationship might mean that no one ever feels heard, sure of what the other wants etc. At least one of us should be an explicit communicator!

  7. #377
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by musicnerd93 View Post
    1. Must-haves
    Sensitivity
    Loyalty
    Cultured
    Patient
    Shares my odd sense of humor
    Understanding
    Affectionate
    Medium length hair (Not buzzed, but not goldilocks either.)
    Smells good
    Not afraid to be a dork with me.
    Loves animals
    Not afraid to express themselves emotionally
    Romantic
    Well-built body. Not completely whimpy, but not full-on macho muscle man either.
    Likes to help other people

    2. Would Like, But Not A Must
    English
    Scottish
    Irish
    Italian
    Amazing artistic ability
    Great writer

    3. Rather not, but if I really loved them, I'd put up with
    Mentally ill
    Mute
    Smokes
    Drinks
    Does drugs
    Every other word out of their mouth is a swear word
    Military man
    Obese

    4. Flat Out Deal Breakers
    Insensitive
    Has no sense of humor, or doesn't share mine
    Emits a foul and unpleasent odor
    Close minded
    Hates animals
    Values drinking more than he values me or family
    Obsessed with sports
    Beards, moustaches, goatees or any other type of facial hair
    Doesn't apologize after doing something wrong, or never accepts my apologies
    Obsessed with sex
    Shallow
    Impatient
    Easily angered
    Too much muscles
    Thinks cheating or "swapping" is okay
    Hairy
    Thinks the world revovles around them
    I'm laughing so hard right now, and you will never know why
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  8. #378
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Must Have:

    1. Inherent sense of personal self-control, patience, and graciousness
    2. High intelligence
    3. Straight forward - I do not "read between lines". Say what you mean or GTFO.
    4. Taller than my own height of 5 ft 6in
    5. Concerned (but not obsessed) with healthy living and being physically responsible
    6. Shared interests
    7. A solid sense of humor
    8. A deeply-ingrained need for compassion and kindness in daily common life

    Would Like:

    1. An ENTP to bounce up and down on?
    2. Another vegetarian or vegan
    2. Oh alright, a library and a dirigible! That trumps everything else.

    Don't Want On a Plane OR a Train, Sam I Am:

    1. I will not rationalize your porn problem. Grow up. Join the rest of the adults. Find a real woman who shares your fantasies and actually LIVE it.
    2. Political rabies
    3. Anti-religious/Pro-religious zealots
    4. If you like Evanescence, get away from me. Now. No, faster...
    5. Hipster BS in all of it's vapid glory
    6. Baseball
    7. "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!! I EAT PALEO AND IT'S JESUS!!!"
    8. Conflated egotistical brittle Napoleons who can't even lose a game of Scrabble gracefully
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #379
    Senior Member Wolfie's Avatar
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    Is it INFP of me to be inherently disinclined to create such a list?
    ( . )( . )

  10. #380
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    My prime deal breaker with any man is that he is not a cat.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

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