User Tag List

First 273536373839 Last

Results 361 to 370 of 453

  1. #361
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    The most accurate and reliable indicator of how a man will treat you in a relationship can be deduced from observing how his father treats his mother.
    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Um. Just be careful. If he has too good of a relationship with his mother, there won't be room for you, dear.
    I agree with Marm here.

    Seems like the most accurate and reliable indicator of how a man will treat you in a relationship can be deduced by how he has treated past girlfriends. If I had to pick between analyzing his relationship with his mother and his ex, I'd choose the ex.

    Thessaly is right that his relationship with his mother will inform his interactions with women. But how his maternal dealings influence his SO dealings can be very complicated. For example, his mother may be just plain nutso. And he might display maturity by holding her at arms length. Another son might be raised to be a Mammoni (Italian, for mama's boy) and hasn't had enough life experience to properly individuate himself.

    What's most relevant is how he treats his girlfriend who's stuck in the middle of all this.

  2. #362
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEI
    Posts
    8,559

    Default

    So what does it mean if I ripped my mother a new one over her trying to pressure money out of the girlfriend I had at the time?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #363
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Babylon Candle View Post
    these lists are RIDICULOUS I think my own list has exactly 5 things...sure, there are many things I might "think" I would prefer, but there are only 5 things that "must be"..
    First of all, Babylon Candle, what are your five things? Come'on, let's hear it. You've gotta cough'em up now.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Outside of "kind", I find the 2 of the 3 pretty shallow compared to what many of the lists in here have. It seems to simply lack detailing the obvious & elaborating on what "interesting to talk to" & "cute enough" means to these men individually rather than being less picky (ie. Would you date a pedophile? No? that's a dealbreaker, albeit obvious). Vague doesn't equal less picky....it just means you're less articulate in describing what you desire.
    I completely agree with OrangeAppled that vague doesn't equal less picky. It may mean that you just haven't thought the matter through.

    Perhaps one of the reasons I've so strongly advocated that women embrace making such lists is that for the majority of my dating life my dumb self did not. This caused both me AND the men I dated a lot of pain.

    I'm in my late 30s right now. I wince when I look back over the past 20 years and think about how much time I wasted on relationships that clearly weren't right for me.

    I wish I could tell my 20-to-35-year-old dumb self to never settle for less than I deserved. Perhaps this is an issue with which we ENFP/INFPs have to struggle in comparison with our ENFJ/INFJ sisters.

    In typical ENFP fashion, I didn't want to violate my principles nor lop off my options. Back then when a man offered me his pitch and woo, I was overly concerned with being judgmental (violating my principles); and, I worried about not keeping my options open in case I learned more about my potential suitor that would change my mind about him (not limiting my options).

    I wish I could have known then what I know now: That not being upfront about what I need/want from a man is unkind both to me and him. It took a lot of humility for me to admit that I was not a super woman or nor was I a saint. That I could not make a relationship work with just anybody. It took personal courage to re-examine my reasoning and admit to myself that even Esoteric Wench needs certain things from her significant other not just for her to be happy, but also so she could be the best woman possible.

    Finally, I had to realize that I had put some of these men in terrible positions by setting them up for failure. One of the kindest things I can do for such a man is to push him out the door. Doesn't he deserve to be with a woman that thinks he is the most awesome man in the world? Doesn't he deserve the joy of knowing that he can make his SO completely and totally happy? Isn't it unfair for commit to a relationship with someone with whom I am destined to continually try to change so that he's a better fit for me?

    Making a detailed list of what I want from a man isn't shallow or selfish. Being too vague and not thinking through what I need to be happy is shallow and selfish.

  4. #364
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    So what does it mean if I ripped my mother a new one over her trying to pressure money out of the girlfriend I had at the time?
    Egad! Even without all the details that sounds horrendous. So sorry your mother was being such a jerk.

    I would consider it a very good sign that you stood up to her for what you saw as immoral behavior.

  5. #365
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Um.



    Just be careful. If he has too good of a relationship with his mother, there won't be room for you, dear.
    I think you're just looking to pointlessly argue with my list for whatever reason. There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting a husband from a stable background with healthy relationships with his family and a high IQ. Let me know when you have an argument I can address.

    Esoteric, what are the chances of one receiving an objective, detailed analysis of an ex's past relationship? How do you suppose you're going to get that information? From the horse's mouth? From his friends? From the ex herself?

    It's easier to just observe the parents at the dinner table and it is actually the more telling relationship according to leading research on this matter.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

  6. #366
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Esoteric, what are the chances of one receiving an objective, detailed analysis of an ex's past relationship? How do you suppose you're going to get that information? From the horse's mouth? From his friends? From the ex herself?

    It's easier to just observe the parents at the dinner table and it is actually the more telling relationship according to leading research on this matter.
    Well you have a point there. I guess you can tell a lot from how he talks about his exes. But you're usually not going to find out anything unless you travel in the same circles...

    Then again, I'm pretty shameless. If possible, I'd work my contacts to get the scoop. I've never been one to be afraid to unleash my E.

  7. #367
    Senior Member You's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    2,137

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    That's not true. Pedophiles, killers, sociopaths work and live among "normal" folks and often blend in so perfectly because of their perfection. You'd never be able to tell until it was too late. Dudes are vague. Women are not. That doesn't make our lists "unrealistic" or unworthy of consideration. In general, people seem to find the way men communicate (vague and often shallow) more acceptable while women are seen as asking for too much when we have details. Interesting.

    Men are so vague. I wonder why?
    Because were more loving, of course.

  8. #368
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    That's not true. Pedophiles, killers, sociopaths work and live among "normal" folks and often blend in so perfectly because of their perfection. You'd never be able to tell until it was too late. Dudes are vague. Women are not. That doesn't make our lists "unrealistic" or unworthy of consideration. In general, people seem to find the way men communicate (vague and often shallow) more acceptable while women are seen as asking for too much when we have details. Interesting.

    Men are so vague. I wonder why?
    Quote Originally Posted by Deja Vu View Post
    Because were more loving, of course.
    I wouldn't say vague. Perhaps, "singleminded pursuit of their goal" would be a better phrase to employ here.


  9. #369

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vamp View Post
    That's not true. Pedophiles, killers, sociopaths work and live among "normal" folks and often blend in so perfectly because of their perfection. You'd never be able to tell until it was too late. Dudes are vague. Women are not. That doesn't make our lists "unrealistic" or unworthy of consideration. In general, people seem to find the way men communicate (vague and often shallow) more acceptable while women are seen as asking for too much when we have details. Interesting.

    Men are so vague. I wonder why?
    You do mean that as a generalistaion, right? After all, the "rule" that can be ascertained from the analysis of a local sample or even from the meta-analysis of several local samples cannot be reasonably assumed to applicable to a whole demographic group without exceptions. Communication can be considered an art form- an attempt to render feelings, thoughts,insights,et cetera that exist in someone's mind into a format from which another person can grasp said feelings,thoughts,insights,et cetera. And as such every human being can be said to possess their own unique style, or styles, of communication
    The MBTI is a tool to help you on your self discovery. It nor any other the label can ever hope to describe you, because you are are unique and special, we all are. Any comments made regarding a group of people should be considered to be general and not ubiquitous; and no one should lose of sight of that. . Do not stereotype other people or yourself for that matter, but generalise if you must when a general example or pattern is required. And if you took the time to read this thank you

  10. #370
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    xNFP
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    1,395

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Well you have a point there. I guess you can tell a lot from how he talks about his exes. But you're usually not going to find out anything unless you travel in the same circles...

    Then again, I'm pretty shameless. If possible, I'd work my contacts to get the scoop. I've never been one to be afraid to unleash my E.
    ENFPs are much bolder than me.
    With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.

Similar Threads

  1. The Grand List of Anime MBTI Types
    By LunarMoon in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 1092
    Last Post: 12-07-2017, 07:04 PM
  2. [NT] The NT Females' List of Deal Breakers
    By Misty_Mountain_Rose in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 112
    Last Post: 10-06-2012, 10:50 PM
  3. [NF] The NF Males' List of Deal Breakers (Rip off)
    By Yloh in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 115
    Last Post: 07-05-2010, 05:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO