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  1. #171
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    I don't make lists about the must have's or deal breakers, so it's not conscious. Everyone is imperfect. For me, it's entirely intuitive. In the past, this intuition has lead me astray. Still, no regrets, as the two men I was most involved with were very good people, just not the best for me as they weren't intuitive and we had difficulty speaking the same language. Now that I've had time to reflect, Ns really are the best for me. From past experience, I would say that I'm drawn most to: sensitivity, passion, utmost honesty and clarity, humor, offbeat, extremely independent (I love an independent thinker), someone that matches my intellect, a fellow intuitive, devoted to me, honest about how he's feeling and communicates that, whether he's angry, frustrated, bored, excited, the list goes on, loves communication and engages with me, really engages. I don't care about imperfections or if someone doesn't say something just right. It's very difficult to communicate exact meanings. It's all in the delivery, in the honest effort. So often it takes several attempts to say it the way we want to. Most of all, someone who sees that I often give too much and will, instead, give to me, as I'm not as strong as I appear.

  2. #172
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    love that lauren...totally relate to that.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #173
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Blimey, NFs are picky!
    Why are you always falling for such losers then?
    That's why we need lists - to keep us on track!
    I can be a real bleeding heart when it comes to dating. Better for me to be aware of what I want/need than be swept up in pity.... And regular, old infatuation works enough damage on rational thought. Between the two, it's good to stay aware of your values.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Do you even know what clicking means at a neurological level? Your brain is making these lists whether you know it or not, consciously or subconsciously you do have well defined criteria.

    I don't judge people based on lists, but I do have my standards, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    I mean, these threads were for shits and giggles anyway right? That's the whole point.
    Seriously - I have not carved my list into stone.

    Although I think it is very much an analysis of what I am drawn to in general - so as opposed to creating standards it simply describes them in words. I don't need a defined list though - my feeling will guide me to the right place if I listen to it and don't get clouded by emotion like pity & physical infatuation.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Um...


    Catch mine?
    Touche.

  5. #175
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    That's why we need lists - to keep us on track!
    I can be a real bleeding heart when it comes to dating. Better for me to be aware of what I want/need than be swept up in pity.... And regular, old infatuation works enough damage on rational thought. Between the two, it's good to stay aware of your values.
    For a long time I thought such lists were antithetical to L-O-V-E. But then again, not having a list didn't help me worth a damn if you are to judge by the success of my past relationships.

    I think that OrangeAppled articulated perfectly why such lists can be helpful. I can be a real sucker when it comes to picking men. Having a list is a great reference point. It serves as a reality check. As an ENFP, I usually never want to lop off my options too soon. Such a list helps me remember that sometimes I NEED to lop off some of my options.

    I don't know why some people are so upset about creating such lists. This thread has been a wonderful exercise in frivolity for me.

    To my fellow NFs and other naysayers: don't take everything so seriously! Have fun with it. You aren't going to miss out on finding the love of your life just because you post a list to this thread.

  6. #176
    Senior Member Xellotath's Avatar
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    ...well.. I tried to have fun ~

    "Neurotic, ha!"
    I let out a scornful laugh.
    "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell.
    I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
    "

    — Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.

  7. #177
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i'm having fun..........kinda. :/
    i've got a list too just didn't feel like writing it out....don't see the point.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #178
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    Saying that I don't have a list isn't the same as saying that I don't think they're worthwhile. It's just something I'm not fond of doing (making lists in general). For the purposes of the thread, I think it's a great idea to kick around these lists of "must haves" or "would never go near."

    I meant to add to great attributes: unselfish. Humble. These men are usually the most generous, talented, and loving. I dislike posturing or huge egos.

  9. #179
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    No men who are into time travel. Time travel is totally a deal breaker for me.

  10. #180
    Senior Member Phoenix_400's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    No men who are into time travel. Time travel is totally a deal breaker for me.


    :throws a tarp over his TARDIS:

    :pops smoke:
    "People in glass houses shouldn't use Windex when living near bird sanctuaries."- myself

    "We are never alone my friend. We are constantly in the company of victories, losses, strengths and weaknesses. Make no mistake, life is war...and war is hell. Those who fight the hardest will suffer the most...but that's what you have to do: Fight. As long as you're feeling pain, then there's hope...because only the dead do not suffer." -RD Metcalf
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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