This is my second post for me on this site, although the theme is the same - love. You were all so helpful the first time, I'm hoping you can shed light on this issue a bit as well. My main question is: Is it essential to let go of the past completely?
My situation is that I always think I am over my first-ever true love who I stopped dating four years ago. Even though I've dated a couple of girls and even fallen in love (or pretty close at least) since then, this true love bounces back. Always! She has a starring or cameo role in so many dreams. Then I'll go for a couple of days or weeks thinking about her, how I can reconnect with her, etc. It's pretty pathetic. Particularly since I am almost certain that I will never implement any of this. (When she broke up with me, I was so heartbroken and upset at how she treated me, and I told her never to contact me...she has stopped trying).
Is it normal for INFJs to push something bad away, but still think about it - even unintentionally in dreams? Ninety percent of me is convinced this is a waste of time (this hoping, this dreaming, this post even...). Yet, is there any value to this brain activity for this person? My friends tell me it's a huge mistake and she has forgotten me a long time ago. (don't friends always say that??)
I want to do the right thing with my brain, my emotions and my memories. I just seem to be stuck.
Thanks for your input.