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  1. #11
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kccrush View Post
    Thanks for everyone's input. This thing is what my friends call my "comfort zone" - or a place I visit when I need to cope with other romances not going well or when there are no romances at all. This person has tried to contact me over the years to ask for forgiveness, but my pride and my own promises to myself to live without her have always made me tell her to leave me alone or have made me simply ignore her. I mention this only because I am committed to not contacting her - but this commitment to silence hasn't necessarily silenced thoughts in my head. Sometimes I think that I'll just be dealing with this until like mist she is completely gone from me. Sort of like Why Not said about having the light go off eight years later
    Sometimes it takes that much time to deal with things in your head. There is no set time limit to be over something or someone. Did you ever explore taking care of yourself first? Like really really - take care of yourself, take yourself out and give yourself alone time to enjoy YOU. From what I've gathered, INFJs don't get over things, we replace. Maybe you haven't had something good enough to replace with? (Not that I don't stand by my advice earlier in this thread) But I think you know what is right for you, not easy, but right. Maybe make a list of what you want to accomplish in life, and start achieving it. In a sense, Fall in love with who you are
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    Someday you will find someone who will replace all memories of her in your head. From my experience, INFJ's tend to dwell on romantic things, but once you find someone who is better, your brain will click over to the new person.

  3. #13
    Member kccrush's Avatar
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    Well, I ended up taking the advice offered by Rainbows and sent Marina (the girl in question) an email that said I was experiencing feelings of forgiveness...and asking how she was so I could possibly get a response. I felt like I had been fighting this step for so long, and it was so hard for me to break through the barrier I had established promising myself not to reach out. After sending it, I was feeling quite victorious and I knew in my heart that the true goal had been reached just by being able to send the email.

    However, I discovered when I checked email again later that night that she had written me back a lengthy email just 20 mins after I pressed send. She said she had been thinking about me and wanted to write, but didn't because I had previously requested no contact. Apparently she was in a similar break up recently where someone let her go who she loved. She didn't give details, but just said that she had already forgiven this other woman, and this has led to their being friends. I'm not sure what to do with all this information, so I'm just sitting on it for now. However, I am very happy to have overcome my fear of contacting her. So much of the time I spend WAYYY too much time thinking things over and never acting. To have finally acted was such a relief. I will relish that feeling for a while Thanks everyone.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    How great of her to respond also. she could have been bitter or mean and she was open and kind. I am glad for you.
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  5. #15
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kccrush View Post
    Well, I ended up taking the advice offered by Rainbows and sent Marina (the girl in question) an email that said I was experiencing feelings of forgiveness...and asking how she was so I could possibly get a response. I felt like I had been fighting this step for so long, and it was so hard for me to break through the barrier I had established promising myself not to reach out. After sending it, I was feeling quite victorious and I knew in my heart that the true goal had been reached just by being able to send the email.

    However, I discovered when I checked email again later that night that she had written me back a lengthy email just 20 mins after I pressed send. She said she had been thinking about me and wanted to write, but didn't because I had previously requested no contact. Apparently she was in a similar break up recently where someone let her go who she loved. She didn't give details, but just said that she had already forgiven this other woman, and this has led to their being friends. I'm not sure what to do with all this information, so I'm just sitting on it for now. However, I am very happy to have overcome my fear of contacting her. So much of the time I spend WAYYY too much time thinking things over and never acting. To have finally acted was such a relief. I will relish that feeling for a while Thanks everyone.
    Glad to know it worked out
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

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