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  1. #11
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    I've recently come to the conclusion that I want someone with extroverted sensibilities, yet understands the need for "quiet time." Someone who is a voracious reader. Of course, open-minded (and all those descriptions reserved for personal ads).

    Nonetheless, the first conversation is the clincher, so I can't go into detail about whether I like someone unless I've had a long conversation with them.
    Yes, I take it with no cream and no sugar.

    And yes, some of us drink it bitter.

  2. #12
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatusername View Post
    I've recently come to the conclusion that I want someone with extroverted sensibilities, yet understands the need for "quiet time." Someone who is a voracious reader. Of course, open-minded (and all those descriptions reserved for personal ads).

    Nonetheless, the first conversation is the clincher, so I can't go into detail about whether I like someone unless I've had a long conversation with them.
    That's interesting. I've never thought about it before, but it's those first one or two conversations that tell me a lot.* And if I think back to the guys that made me knobby knocker in the knees, it's always at the end of that conversation. There's a certain ineffable quality that I pick up during these exchanges.

    And, I've also come to believe that the Introverted / Extraverted pairing works best for me. I've only had one serious relationship with an Extravert. It was nice in its own way, but I think that being around Introverts helps me turn inward and reflect more easily. Sometimes this can be hard for me to do because I find it difficult to close off the outside world.

    My I/E couplings seems to have the right push and pull of mental energies for me.... even if, upon occasion, I've got to pull stuff out of you guys like teeth from a proverbial hen. :chicken: <---

    *I think it's important to note that the first conversation can be either written or spoken. A brilliant email exchange will work... as long as it's shortly followed up by a scintillating personal interaction.

  3. #13
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i don't have prescribed lists of "qualities" (read: adjectives) that a person must have.

    i think there's a kind of yin-yang element to love. something that stimulates yang energy and something you receive in return. i'm figuring out how to balance this.

    i probably lean towards Ne doms as far as its impression on me, a kind of intoxicating effect. but i appreciate MANY aspects of relationships that become real once you experience them.

    yet, i know i do need serious intuition. i don't feel like i can be recognized as much as i want to be recognized without it. i don't feel like my mind can be recognized in the way i want it to be recognized without it. the "what could be" is very important to me, provides meaning and something to pull me into the future.

    i like the partners-in-crime talk that infjs and entps bring up frequently. a kind of mutual inspiration. i like working together on something that we both feel passionately about. i like the energy of Ne doms (e7s) who have more initiation, more immediate spark, something to catalyze me into motion. i just get jacked up on my own adrenaline, but it doesn't motivate me to do/act as much as it motivates me to imagine. so i love when others have the ability and desire to carry out some of my ideas together.

    i also deeply value Fi and the place it makes for you in its own world. i value trust very very much bc it is difficult for me to easily accept/build/create. i'm realizing that i value someone who can ground me and be somewhat stabilizing. i think this means said person must have her shit together better than me, at least when it comes to day-to-day life. i really value T types in this regard. i also highly prize being loved the most.

  4. #14
    Junior Member Piedpiper's Avatar
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    Someone who:
    1. Has a humble spirit.
    2. Is more fiscally responsible than I am
    3. Has a side of their personality that they will only share with me
    4. Is not obsessed with going out and seeing a billion other people.
    5. Sees beyond the physical world.
    6. Keeps at least good care to their bodies; doesn't over eat and sit around all the time.

    As someone on this thread posted earlier, "I'll know when I see them" =).

  5. #15
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I don't know. I've never been good at creating lists regarding particular traits, even though I believe in my head there are some very broad necessities when it comes to what I desire out of a relationship and a partner. Sometimes I think the overarching, general qualities I seek are often more rare and more hard to find than the particulars. Probably because my 'generals' in essence are a sum of little particulars which I have never seen the point of detailing out. (or it would be too discouraging if I ever tried that )

    Anyhow, bottom line is I desire a mutually good/beneficial connection & dynamic, a complementary partner who understands me and is proactive in demonstrating that desire to dig me out. But also one who provides a contrast to me - understanding and loving who I am, BUT nudging/challenging/encouraging me to strive for more. And vice versa. Shared interests/passions (as one example, I tend to be a fairly physically active person, so I tend to desire someone who is also like that, because quality time together is very important to me and if he sat on the couch all day or played WOW all of the time, we'd basically not be doing a whole lot together at all), but also independent and completely self-sufficient and happy on his own..but desirous of a relationship. And, last but not least, sizzling chemistry! lol.

    Generally speaking extroverted intuitives fit the bill. Momentum and energy/chemistry never tends to occur with introverts.

    Edit: I realize this post was basically worthless because I didn't really give any specific QUALITIES, but honestly for me to be able to do that I'd have to sit here for quite a long time, really contemplating it so that I am able to articulate it well, and I just don't want to spend the time doing that.
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post

    *I think it's important to note that the first conversation can be either written or spoken. A brilliant email exchange will work... as long as it's shortly followed up by a scintillating personal interaction.
    Yes, definitely. One learns multitudes about a person by the way he/she writes.
    Yes, I take it with no cream and no sugar.

    And yes, some of us drink it bitter.

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