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  1. #1
    Senior Member chihuahuasrluv's Avatar
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    Default beaten down INFPs

    What happens to an INFP once the rose-colored glasses come off? Can you still be an dreamer when you've awaken to the cold, hard truth that is reality? Can you be still be an INFP type when you've become disenchanted with people?

  2. #2
    Member Flutterby's Avatar
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    It's harder, but you most definitely can do it. It may involve a long period of not dreaming but eventually you come out the other side, still having dreams but being more realistic about what it takes to achieve them. Also, me, I'm an INFP/Type 5, so I just go looking for more and more information on how to deal with the world and deal with people and that gives me comfort and the ability to believe that I will find a way forward.

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    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    I really cant relate to this.

    As I grew up I wasn't idealistic. I never wore rose-coloured glasses. Nowadays I do have a dream but its one based on realistic expectations. Maybe I'm idealistic or an optimist (I sure try to be) but Im not naive nor am I dellusional. However, I have met a male INFP who truly lives with rose-coloured glasses and is actually dellusional in his view of the world. I couldnt live like that and as far as I remember I never have done.
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Ime, the disenchantment is a defense mechanism. One you can keep up for a long time, but it makes you feel cold and dead inside. If the fear and disgust of people is greater than your natural instinct to enjoy them...you might get stuck there. Ime, not the best place to be. Though liking people is potentially hazardous, it's also a source of great joy. And I for one prefer to deal with painful emotions than isolation and no emotional connection whatsoever. This constant going back and forth to the world has also its benefits. If you can see past the pain that those people have inflicted and wonder why they woudl do such a thing (and I mean assess it without getting frustrated or hurt over it), you can understand how the outside world works...and you're less likely to be vulnerable to disappointment next time..coz you know what to expect and why they do things like that. You adjust your dreams and are able to see beyond the frustrations they caused you and also notice the good parts..the parts you didn't even dream up yet, and will also add to your inner world as enrichment. Eventually..you end up straddling two worlds. It's a magnificent sight
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  5. #5
    Member Hazle Weatherfield's Avatar
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    I think a good question to ask would be can you become disenchanted with people as an INFP? And I say of course. Characteristics of INFP type point to a neutral sensitivity to people, not necessarily a positive one.

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    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chihuahuasrluv View Post
    What happens to an INFP once the rose-colored glasses come off? Can you still be an dreamer when you've awaken to the cold, hard truth that is reality? Can you be still be an INFP type when you've become disenchanted with people?
    You should keep in mind that INFPs are human too, despite what many of the descriptions would have you believe.
    I don't really relate to anything in your post, I have always been a realist.

  7. #7
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chihuahuasrluv View Post
    What happens to an INFP once the rose-colored glasses come off? Can you still be an dreamer when you've awaken to the cold, hard truth that is reality? Can you be still be an INFP type when you've become disenchanted with people?
    I rather think I'm a prime example. Last time I checked I was still INFP.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
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    i think i am a realist.. i mean, i know the distinction between my dreams and reality. i tend to get really depressed when i see things realistically, which is one of the reasons i tend to lean towards idealism. but i think i am well aware of reality..

    idk, i confuse myself

  9. #9
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    "What happens to an INFP once the rose-colored glasses come off?"

    They become more balanced and healthier.

    "Can you still be an dreamer when you've awaken to the cold, hard truth that is reality?"

    Yes, the key is balance! It is hard to sway back and forth between being an idealist and a realist, but it can be done. Recognize what is impossible and let those go. Recognize what is possible despite a low chance of success and hold onto those. Don't over-stretch yourself with idealism. Talk to your friends who have different functions. Keep taking in information. Recognize that not everyone is Fi dominant and so their behavior is actually normal, not pure evil. It is very important for an INFP to still dream, we are who we are, but that doesn't mean we can't grow or improve or learn other traits. We have to protect ourselves sometimes.

    "Can you be still be an INFP type when you've become disenchanted with people?"

    Yes. Learn to see the world and actions through not only your lens but the other people's lens. If it's an istp, learn to see it through his/her ti, not your fi. It will explain their actions and you will come to understand how other people work more. If you view every single little thing through fi, it will be very, very depressing, impractical, and not worth it.

    I see Fi as this great quality for us (and for humankind ), but we need to not max it up to more than it needs to be, because we live in a world not dominated by Fi. Use Fi effectively. Control. Awareness. Other functions. Know your own limits when it comes to holding onto ideals. Don't let yourself be beaten down because the only one doing that is you, attitude is important.

    I am very much an idealist but that doesn't mean I don't accept reality. Sometimes, it is hard for me to see at the grits and the cold logic, but after every experience, I get a little better. I pick myself up a little quicker and recognize the problem before it gets out of control. I love my idealism. I have standards and I have integrity and I am proud of that, don't let the world or other people make you feel ashamed to have these qualities. At the same time, don't feel that you need to defend them every single time to every single person, that would just be exhausting. Do it when it can change something.

    Also, I am not a rose-colored person about everything. I am quite a pessimistic person. And I think humanity is not as "awesome" as people like to believe. For every life, someone else is dying a miserable death. For every happy person, there is someone devastated. For every human being, some animal is without necessary resources. I tend to roll my eyes when people are overly sentimental about how extraordinary humanity is. But I am not a miserable person. I smile and laugh a lot. Balance!

  10. #10
    is an ambi-turner BRMC117's Avatar
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    I had to do this at a young age, I HAVE to be realistic. I still dream and make believe, but, not as much or as in depth however.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    Learn to see the world and actions through not only your lens but the other people's lens. If it's an istp, learn to see it through his/her ti, not your fi. It will explain their actions and you will come to understand how other people work more. If you view every single little thing through fi, it will be very, very depressing, impractical, and not worth it.
    Very well said Rebe
    "I put the fires out."
    "you made them worse."
    "worse...or better?"

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