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  1. #11
    Senior Member BlueinGreen's Avatar
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    I've never quite known what to make of the infp description of "idealist." I guess I have some pretty important values and I wish that reality was more in line with those values, but it is what it is and I acknowledge that. I suppose I am an idealist to that extent, but I would wager it's a minority of us who really see the world through "rose-tinted glasses", as the above posts by infp's exemplify.

    Maybe it's the realization that the world isn't flowers and bunnies that makes many infp's sink into depression, but I seriously doubt many of us saw it quite that way in the first place. I suppose a less exaggerated framing of that statement may be true to an extent, but I think a a fair number of infp's are quite cynical and jaded to the world around them, at least relative to what the descriptions would have you believe, as having one's head totally in the clouds is perhaps indicative of something pathological. Infp's are not just "dreamy", they are also dark, edgy, goofy, quirky, and sometimes straight up rebellious. That is why we count in our ranks people ranging from Albert Schweizer to Kurt Cobain. Talk about different reactions to reality...

    Anyhow, I think most of us left our head in the clouds somewhere back in childhood, where the rose-colored glasses were more apt to be on. It doesn't mean we aren't still dreamers, but we haven't totally split off from reality as many descriptions would seem to imply.

  2. #12
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chihuahuasrluv View Post
    What happens to an INFP once the rose-colored glasses come off?
    I don't believe I've ever had any rose colored glasses on....in fact, I've always disliked that phrase being used to describe INFPs.
    I think that being an idealist means having a vision of perfection - an unattainable concept that serves as motivation. It doesn't mean viewing the current world as ideal - quite the opposite (idealism does NOT make one an optimist). Because of my idealism, I go through life with a critical eye. However, it also spurs me to try and create some semblance of this vision in reality.

    Can you still be an dreamer when you've awaken to the cold, hard truth that is reality?
    Reality doesn't touch my imagination; in fact, the further I am from the ideal, the more I engage in fantasy. Dreaming serves as an escape, which helps to cope. Plus, both can influence the other. I can adapt my dream to make it more achievable & I can try to bring my reality closer to my ideal. My "dreams" are not inflexible, concrete, or specific. They are rather vague feelings - which means I can create many avenues to seek something resembling them in reality that are not, well, unrealistic. This does not mean I am not unrealistic at times (because I am A LOT) - but when reality does slap me in the face, I can withdraw/get depressed or I can look for some other possibility. I think this is why exercising Ne is emphasized for INFPs to be healthy - it keeps you out of the "Fi Si loop". The "Fi Si loop" is when an INFP allows harsh reality of past experiences to keep them down instead of looking for future ways to adapt. I guess it is accepting that adapting is not always a compromise in integrity, and in that way, you can function as a dreamer in reality.

    Can you be still be an INFP type when you've become disenchanted with people?
    I was never enchanted with people to begin with. I had enough early childhood experiences to make me wary of people from a young age. I've always been guarded. I used to have much more disparaging views of people, and I still have these thoughts sometimes.

    I don't have a "most people are bad/good" attitude though, but I admit I try to give people the benefit of the doubt without being naive. I've actually become more compassionate in the process - I used to expect people to live up to my high standards, not because I thought they could, but because I thought they should. Now, I'm more realistic, which makes me more forgiving & accepting, even if my opinion of people on the whole is still rather low.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #13
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    i think a great deal of my "INFP idealism" actually stems from reacting to a broken, screwed up world... i never related much to the INFP descriptions describing someone who would shrink from harsh reality, unable to bear it - when i am confronted with harsh realities, it very much makes me want to create a new current, a positive change...in a way it's energizing; a reminder that i can and truly want to try to do what i can to remedy the state of the world. starting small isn't always easy, especially with a greater vision, but it can be a great morale booster to accomplish even the smallest task. (it gives even this cynic some confidence that these things can be done)

    it might sound strange for an INFP, but i think i really feel happier knowing i have the opportunity to do some good in the mad world than i do simply dreaming up things in my head. the dreaming is the first step, the source of the real-life goals. it's not a finite occasion, but a step in a process... i suppose the "healer" label resonates with me greatly in this light. i see what is broken and i think of ways i can help fix those things. i channel my "fire" regarding injustice and suffering into a palpable drive to do something to make it less of a problem.... for example, i hate how society demonizes/ignores the homeless. so i have developed a habit of carrying snacks in my bag, so when i'm out and come across a homeless person, i can chat with them for a few minutes and give them something to eat. sure, i'm not ending homelessness, but i'm doing a small part to improve a specific person's situation. and that's better than feeling helpless and doing nothing at all.

    i don't find it easy to remain untouched by the pain and injustice around me, admittedly, i am quite sensitive...and it can be difficult to be aware of so much that's wrong in one's personal life, or family, on one's block, in one's nation, and beyond...but i can't bring myself to apathy. i recognize that i feel upset or hurt by these things because i care. and i believe that change is possible... and it's that desire to change things for the better that motivates me, even when i do feel a grating cynicism.

    for me ideals aren't passive, far off fairy tales, they're visions for a better day on the horizon....a call to action.

    anyone who knows me would probably say that i am quite cynical. it's true that humanity is sordid and often rather cruel. i'm not one to sugar-coat. but it's in facing the truth as honestly as possible that people can come up with viable solutions. it may not be easy to face harsh truths, but if we grit our teeth and bear that burden, we're one step closer to what we want - positive change.

    i'm hard-wired to give a crap. i've learned to appreciate that more and more as i grow older. i used to resent it a lot, of course. it can seem ceaseless, tiring, and annoying to be concerned with things others don't seem to notice or care for much, but sometimes when i interact with others, i realize that it can be a sort of inspiration to them. this kind of puzzles me (my sense of how i affect others is pretty piss poor), but i'll take it.

    if we step outside of our introverted, overly-polite bubbles a bit and vocalize our concerns, we may find that not only do others understand, but share our plights more than we may think. they may even be grateful that we shared. it proves that we get pissed off, too, at least.

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.."
    -Oscar Wilde



  4. #14
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phthalocyanine View Post
    i'm hard-wired to give a crap.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #15
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phthalocyanine View Post
    i'm hard-wired to give a crap.
    and passing judgment is usually much harder than passing a kidney stone
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  6. #16
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chihuahuasrluv View Post
    What happens to an INFP once the rose-colored glasses come off? Can you still be an dreamer when you've awaken to the cold, hard truth that is reality? Can you be still be an INFP type when you've become disenchanted with people?
    They become misanthropic to the extreme! Like THIS:




    By the way--the above is an excerpt from:

    Amazon.com: Misery Loves Comedy (9781560977926): Ivan Brunetti: Books
    __________________


    I'M OUTTA HERE.

    IT'S BEEN FUN.

    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  7. #17
    Senior Member flameskull95's Avatar
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    INFP's are really actually pro, when I switch to reality, my Te and Si kick in, and I turn badass, - but I can fully handle the cold hard truth of reality now, - even better than most sensors.
    I'm a INFP - The sociopath

    I think I'm either a 4w5, 4w3, 6w5 or 9w1. Most possibly 4w5.

    Feeling FiNe

  8. #18
    Senior Member Robopop's Avatar
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    INFPs, I have a grand offer, come to the dark side, get with the T. It is so comfortable not worrying about the world's "big problems". Reality is cruel, stop believing in this world. So what do you say?

  9. #19
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    Every time I crash. I just become a little bit more determined to not let it drag me down. I don't always do well with it.,but for the most part I can recover whatever life has beaten out of me.
    In extreme cases it can become a catylist for growth.
    And I think in my case, complacency is my enemy, So I have been known to remove the rose colored glasses myself the odd time or two.

  10. #20
    Member Hazle Weatherfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    They become misanthropic to the extreme! Like THIS:




    By the way--the above is an excerpt from:

    Amazon.com: Misery Loves Comedy (9781560977926): Ivan Brunetti: Books
    This is my bad days in a nutshell.

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