Hi, fellow NFs, or more generally, fellow Fs, how do you deal with this?
Earlier today I was thinking about starting a thread entitled, "Being Emotionally Infected Sucks!"
But then, I decided to broaden the topic to just plain ol' emotional sensitivity.
What a blessing, what a curse...
I am so easily affected by others' emotional states, it's bothersome and frustrating at times.
And, depending on the the amplitude/depth of the emotional state/energy emulated/expelled, or on the relationship I have with the person, the effects can be lasting and severe. :sad:
It's like I can never be alone, or rather, feel alone.
All of these people in my life, passer byers, family members, significant others, friends, etc. When I come into contact with them, I receive their energy, be it positive or negative, I can't close this channel, I just receive it.
And, it is the negative energy that seems to linger the most, and it's not *mine* it's theirs but I feel it, and it weighs on me.
I dunno, call it the burden of unchecked empathy, or the burden of caring.
How do you create emotional distance while still caring about someone you love when they happen to be in a negative place?
I can do this, sometimes, but it is a difficult task, indeed.
And, when I am fragile, and sensitive myself, I find that I am even MORE susceptible to others' feelings.
I just want everyone to be okay, I want everyone to be happy, content.
But this is an unrealistic desire, and it is selfish, because when others are happy, they are easier or more pleasant to deal with. :/
And, I know that I am guilty of emotionally infecting others, :sad: never by choice, though, since age twelve, I've opted for quarantining myself off from others whenever I happen to be in a bad place.
But, I can't really do that so much anymore, my current job, relationship status, and familial one are such that I am immersed amongst people constantly.
Right now, I am alone, which is nice.
And, when I am with my mother and she is happy, I fill up with immense joy.
And, when I am physically with my boyfriend, thank god, something about our energies complement each other, and I, for the most part, feel happy, at peace, free, full of love and warmth.
As a caregiver though, with an 85 year old patient with not only Dementia but a pretty bad case of depression, too, and I happen to live with her for four days a week, fuckaduckasaurus, this can be so very tough.
At this point in our relationship, I not only love her, but I care deeply for her, and her perpetual down-in-the-dumps mood brings me dooooooowwwnnnn!!!
But, even with her, when I make her happy, when I hear her laugh, this brings me so much joy!!!
But with her progressive disease, this happens less and less.
But I digress...
All of these people in my monkey-sphere, a swirling nebulous of existence and emotion, and I feel it all.
Sometimes being a feeler sucks.