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  1. #1
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Default Been Gone; But Sick of Being an ENFJ

    I haven't been on here in months.....so hi to everyone......

    I think I've decided when it comes to romantic relationships.....I am sick of being an ENFJ......how do I initiate a trade in?????

    We just retook the test at a company offsite.....I'm still a solid ENFJ......and you guessed it......20-0 on F!!!

    I want to have less feeling. Sick of choosing women that are crappy for me.....How do I get that???
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  2. #2
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    1) awareness
    2) translate what you know and are aware of into action
    3) stay firm; resist dangerous temptation(s)
    4) know own limits, accept own limits
    5) if you know you can't just have fun without emotional attachment and investment, DON'T DO IT
    6) stop making excuses because you are enfj or whatever type

    i tell myself that whenever I feel over-sentimental and in danger of getting myself endangered.

  3. #3
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    In this respect, I don't really relate to most of the other ENFJs. Start critically analyzing things and try to look at things objectively without the "should haves". For me, if I meet a person (not necessarily romantically), I feel them out first. Then I look for a behavioral pattern that either aligns with the impression or goes against it. That really balances out the Fe and I totally agree with Rebe.

  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    You are likely to become more and more attracted to whomever you spend the most time with regardless of what you intellectually know about them. So if they're no good for you, absent yourself!

    Usually the people who run roughshod over your feelings are insecure. Insecurity means you've got no margin left over to pay attention to anyone else's needs or feelings and that you also believe that if you don't look after yourself, no one will.

    What's been the pattern for who you choose and how they behave?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
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    Great advice. Thanks to all.

    My F has been taking over lately.....not an excuse; just a reality.

    I do need to limit time with certain people.
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  6. #6
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Hi, Desperado. Am I remembering correctly that you tend to be attracted to women who are vulnerable and need you to kind of help them/fix them? Is there a way you could consciously try to change that pattern? Vulnerability can be an appealing concept, but those women are usually going to come with a lot of baggage.

    Anyhoo, welcome back!
    Something Witty

  7. #7
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    I haven't been on here in months.....so hi to everyone......

    I think I've decided when it comes to romantic relationships.....I am sick of being an ENFJ......how do I initiate a trade in?????

    We just retook the test at a company offsite.....I'm still a solid ENFJ......and you guessed it......20-0 on F!!!

    I want to have less feeling. Sick of choosing women that are crappy for me.....How do I get that???
    Stop looking for a fixer-upper. Stop looking for someone to save and, for god sake, stop doing everything. In a relationship there are two halves, each one standing on their own two feet. Find a woman with a life. A life that does not contain all kinds of drama and baggage. Someone mentally stable. Someone who can approach life with a logical view, yet have the capacity to understand (or at least the willingness to learn) that there is an emotional give and take. Do not do things strictly to pacify because its not all about her.. It's about the "us" part. You find a woman who will make that a top priority, you have a keeper. Find someone worthy of all you have to offer because a chronic damsel in distress will NEVER be worthy of you.

    You guys are awesome. Just awesome. But there are days I want to slap you silly because of the above mindset.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  8. #8
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    Sometimes I feel like I'm so naturally wired as a feeler that I give off that vibe without even meaning to.

    I would say, the next time you feel overwhelmed with emotions, stop and take a deep breath. Just think about it. Tell yourself, "OK, I feel this way now, but I'm going to stay calm and not react right away."

    Also, studying thinking types and how they react to things can be very helpful. Sometimes they can take emotions down a notch in ways feeling types would never have thought of.

    But don't feel bad. People love ENFJs. One of my best friends is an ENFJ, and we're like brothers. He's a great person. And honestly, his ability to wear his heart on his sleeve is oddly inspiring to me. He lets people know what's on his mind, and they know where he is at most of the time, plus he has a really cool way of doing it. It's hard to describe.
    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

  9. #9
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I'm curious about the details. What do you find are your most common malfunctions and the common traits of the women you choose?
    If you don't mind sharing, that is. More of a full-spectrum assessment
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  10. #10
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    Here's some advice from a fellow ENFJ male... repeat this mantra daily and you'll probably start to feel better..."Thank God I'm not an INFJ male... Thank God I'm not an INFJ male. Thank God I'm not an INFJ male." They got it a lot tougher than we do bro.


    Quote Originally Posted by Desperado44 View Post
    Sick of choosing women that are crappy for me....:
    Care to elaborate sir?

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