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Thread: ENFP women

  1. #21
    No Array Thalassa's Avatar
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    May 2009
    6w7 sx
    SEE Fi


    Quote Originally Posted by Valerie View Post
    My experience with ENFP's is that they are very fun, and can mold themselves to fit you very well, but they get really bored with the same person and want to have a revolving door of new people to entertain them. Also, they don't have a whole lot of remorse about kicking you out of their lives and moving on to the next person. If you want a long term commitment, be very very careful, because you might be just a toy to them.
    All ENFPs aren't like that at all. You're talking about very immature ENFPs, I guess.
    "Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey

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  2. #22
    Senior Member Array guesswho's Avatar
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    Jul 2010



  3. #23


    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    1. How do you guys view long-term commitment? On this page (, it says that one of the hardest things about being a type 7 (I know not all of you are type 7) is that you "feel confined in a 1-on-1 relationship". If you find someone who you love and who loves you through and through, is committing for a lifetime still a "scary thing"? Try to speak from your actual experience rather than your idealistic romantic ideals. Once you get 3-5 years into the relationship, are you starting to get bored?
    I would have said DEFINITELY long-term commitment, until you threw in the little bit about "idealistic/romantic ideals" aside, haha. From experience, I've only been in one relationship, and it didn't last very long...but this wasn't my doing. He broke up with me. As far as getting bored of people, well, I do tend to go out searching for new experiences. It's exciting to live in an always fresh and ever-changing world. HOWEVER, I have a tendency to become very attached to people I am close to and do not seem to let them go easily. On top of that, I am also very dedicated, loyal, and committed to things that are important to me. Remaining focused is actually higher on my priorities (and more practical) than constantly going in search of new experiences...when I know full well that the "newness" will eventually wear off, leaving me feeling lost and directionless....not to mention nostalgic of the wonderful stability that I once had.

    2. Let's face it, P's have a lazy streak. I've had periods in my life where I wasn't very productive at all. I'm all about freedom of choice and space in a relationship, but if I were to end up with an ENFP, one thing that could possibly frustrate me to no end, would be if it was taken for granted that I'm the sole bread winner in the family. I have no problem being that person in the relationship, but what would really irk me is after 5 years if she just started staying at home, playing video games on the computer. She doesn't have to have a 6-figure job or anything, but basically, I'd want her to contribute to the family in a big way because we're in it together. Have some humanitarian hobbies, go hang out with your girls, etc. But, contribute to us and what we are doing before you "play games" and "go for nature walks". Is this something you guys struggle with? I only ask because I've seen it with the ENFP's I've known.
    I would definitely want to have a career and feel productive. If I'm not being productive...or contributing to the world in some way, I tend to start feeling worthless. I would like a man who is the "primary" bread winner, but not the "sole" bread winner. I'd like to focus on a career even more than I'd like to focus on a family, honestly, even though that seems rather un-ENF like. I guess they're both important, and I'd like to have a little variety in my life.

    3. Basically, what's the ideal for you in a LTR? What keeps you interested, committed, and fully engaged with one person for years to come?
    Intelligent and extremely ambitious. I would like someone who will pull me along and inspire me. Someone who has big dreams and a lot of motivation to make it happen. Also -- responsible (cares about his life and makes good choices), great sense of humor, interesting and deep conversations, and who will make me feel appreciated (i.e. not become annoyed with my Fe-ness and actually enjoy my enthusiasm). Those are the big things for me. This is optional, but I think I would also prefer a partner who enjoyed a little bit of variety in his life...just to help the boredom from sinking in. Maybe I'm being a bit too idealistic again, but really I think I fit all of those things, so why couldn't I find a guy who was similar?

    One of my faults, though, is that I really really REALLY hate having the disapproval of those around me. I don't like to feel like I'm constantly being judged, which is hard for me since I tend to have very...different...taste (sometimes seen as nerdy) than a good portion of my friends. I have made a conscious decision, however, that from now on I will be sure to involve my Ti by not being influenced by their opinions and instead just sticking to my own judgment. I've discovered that their type of guy simply isn't right for me. If I let everyone ELSE do the picking...well god, I will NEVER find someone who makes me happy.

    yes, exactly. speaking from personal experience, whenever i get really enthusiastic about something and someone else is not anywhere close to my level of enthusiasm, i feel really dumb and my feelings get hurt.
    Me too...

    I think the relevant point is that ENFPs take their serious relationships VERY seriously.
    Ding ding ding. I guess I like to constantly expand my circle of friends, but I'm still all about long-term. When I get attached to somebody, I have a hard time letting go. I want a significant other, not a long string of dates and make-out sessions. (I won't kiss a guy unless I'm really serious about him. I'll go on dates to get to know him, but that's it. And once I deside he's not right for me, I just drop it.) I agree that this has a lot to do with maturity, though. I have an ENFP (or maybe ESFP?) friend who goes through a new guy every two weeks. She enjoys the fun of dating freely and has no difficulties at all jumping in and out of relationships. I've never understood her.
    Enneagram Results

    --3w6 sx/so

    Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||||||| 85%
    Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 77%
    Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 70%
    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||| 60%
    Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||| 60%
    Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 57%
    Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||| 44%
    Type 9 Calmness |||||| 27%
    Type 5 Detachment |||| 11%

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