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Thread: ENFP women

  1. #11
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    INTPness, I think one of the things you have to consider is that your ENFP will need and want emotional support and affirmation from you. This is very important to ENFPs... We're not clingy. Far from it. But we love to shower love on our loved ones as much as we love getting it in return.

    There would be times with your ENFP when your Introverted Thinking will clash with her Introverted Feeling. And, you may be logically correct. But are you going to be able to see past that logic and see that for your ENFP, what she needs at that moment is emotional support which you may not feel comfortable giving her.

    As far as the LTR thing, I never have had trouble having LTRs. ENFPs, as my brethren have pointed out, hate routine. They love learning new things and meeting new people. They hate being stuck in a rut. Your willingness to explore new ideas with her will be your trump card.

    Good luck!

    Good advice. Thanks.

    What is a good example of "exploring new ideas" with her? Meaning that when she gets on a new kick that I will add my research abilities, knowledge, and enthusiasm to what she's doing? Or is it more like, "I found a new trail that I want to walk through and explore. Go explore it with me!" Probably a little bit of both, huh? Just being interested and involved in what interests her at any given time?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


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  2. #12
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Yeah and things that YOU find exciting/interesting too...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #13
    THIS bitch stringstheory's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Good advice. Thanks.

    What is a good example of "exploring new ideas" with her? Meaning that when she gets on a new kick that I will add my research abilities, knowledge, and enthusiasm to what she's doing? Or is it more like, "I found a new trail that I want to walk through and explore. Go explore it with me!" Probably a little bit of both, huh? Just being interested and involved in what interests her at any given time?
    yes, exactly. speaking from personal experience, whenever i get really enthusiastic about something and someone else is not anywhere close to my level of enthusiasm, i feel really dumb and my feelings get hurt.

    Or maybe even seeing how her interests might apply to yours. This is actually sort of what i meant by "long-term interaction"...we're always getting new ideas and interests and sometimes it can be hard to keep up, so someone who, for the most part, does what they can to show some enthusiasm for whatever the flavour of the week is very special.

    Sometimes an ENFP is gonna come home with some exciting new theory or book or whatever and it'll be like she's speaking a completely different language. For example my INTJ partner works in the gaming industry. i love video games, but i study theories on gender/sexuality in school....which is significantly less exciting for him. however, he chose to brush up on some terms i often use so that we can discuss them as they relate to games that we're playing. he also actively finds and reads articles about these ideas, when he would have just skipped them before. ENFPs [i]love[/] this kind of stuff.
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  4. #14
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    1. How do you guys view long-term commitment? On this page (http://www.9types.com/descr/7/), it says that one of the hardest things about being a type 7 (I know not all of you are type 7) is that you "feel confined in a 1-on-1 relationship". If you find someone who you love and who loves you through and through, is committing for a lifetime still a "scary thing"? Try to speak from your actual experience rather than your idealistic romantic ideals. Once you get 3-5 years into the relationship, are you starting to get bored?

    Never been 3-5 years in any relationship.

    2. Let's face it, P's have a lazy streak. I've had periods in my life where I wasn't very productive at all. I'm all about freedom of choice and space in a relationship, but if I were to end up with an ENFP, one thing that could possibly frustrate me to no end, would be if it was taken for granted that I'm the sole bread winner in the family. I have no problem being that person in the relationship, but what would really irk me is after 5 years if she just started staying at home, playing video games on the computer. She doesn't have to have a 6-figure job or anything, but basically, I'd want her to contribute to the family in a big way because we're in it together. Have some humanitarian hobbies, go hang out with your girls, etc. But, contribute to us and what we are doing before you "play games" and "go for nature walks". Is this something you guys struggle with? I only ask because I've seen it with the ENFP's I've known.

    If I am not passionate, I wont do it. I have to care.

    3. Basically, what's the ideal for you in a LTR? What keeps you interested, committed, and fully engaged with one person for years to come?

    Respect of boundaries and freedom. Know that when when I'm gone, I'll come back home. Just like a bird.

  5. #15
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    Presuming I am an ENFP, my answers are going to be a bit different I think than some. It may have to do with being an E4w3, but I love being in a committed relationship, and it's really there that I thrive. I was with someone for five years, and it seems as though it took us at least two years after that to really be broken up for real (and not having some weird long distance friendship where we would sometimes talk about getting back together, and I often missed him terribly, and missed the feeling of being in a LTR). I would have married him had he sought treatment for his anger problems and possible mental illness. It was extremely hard for me to leave him, one of the hardest things I've ever done.

    I also think that not contributing to the family even if with you being the sole bread winner would be extremely immature on her part, I also don't relate to that ... even if I stayed home in the sense of being unemployed, there are many other things I would take care of in the home...I actually don't have a big problem with the idea of being a housewife, as long as it wasn't some weird situation where I was basically being owned. I don't consider myself a slob who would just sit around and watch tv and that sort of thing, ever, no never, unless I was in some seriously deep depression.

    I have to have an intellectual/emotional connection with that person. I have to be able to share common interests with someone, and be able to talk and laugh with them. I need that sense of being deeply intimately connected to someone in order to have a relationship. If that person can't be my friend as well as my lover and partner, it's not going to work. I think it would definitely be important to be with someone who wanted to keep growing and exploring life, someone who wouldn't just get stuck in a rut forever.

  6. #16
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    Oh I should also add that age and passion might be big factors. A very young ENFP may be not ready to settle down yet (like many young people, of course, but I don't think of ENFPs as ones in particular to marry especially young) and also obviously she has to be in love with you.

    I remember once there was this guy who I really liked as a friend, I really respected him, and he really went out of his way to get me to date him, but there was just no spark there and his passive nature turned me off (I think he was INFx) and when I tried to make it work with him I.just.could.not.do.it.

  7. #17
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    I'm an ENFP enneagram 6 but I have a 7 wing. ALL I WANT is long term relationship. I had a best friend for 3 years and we were really really really close during that time. I felt like she was a part of me! After that, she started to distance herself from me... I felt sad for a long time. I won't even date a guy unless I think I want to marry him.
    ENFP 6w7 sp/sx

  8. #18
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiBurst View Post
    I'm an ENFP enneagram 6 but I have a 7 wing. ALL I WANT is long term relationship. I had a best friend for 3 years and we were really really really close during that time. I felt like she was a part of me! After that, she started to distance herself from me... I felt sad for a long time. I won't even date a guy unless I think I want to marry him.
    I was that way for a long time. Then I realized that it was possible to go out on a few dates in order to find out if I wanted to marry him.

    I think the relevant point is that ENFPs take their serious relationships VERY seriously.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Some of us. I'm totally not into the whole "serious relationship" stuff because with people my age it's usually parasitic and suffocating. Aren't I positive?
    I'm more about exploring my options and being anything but tied down. I'm not romantic at all, romance is a ball and chain to me.
    George Bernard Shaw in cartoon form.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    My experience with ENFP's is that they are very fun, and can mold themselves to fit you very well, but they get really bored with the same person and want to have a revolving door of new people to entertain them. Also, they don't have a whole lot of remorse about kicking you out of their lives and moving on to the next person. If you want a long term commitment, be very very careful, because you might be just a toy to them.

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