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  1. #1
    Junior Member RobinsonCrusoe's Avatar
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    Default Are NFs bad at making good decisions?

    Whenever I reflect on all the BIG decisions I've made in my life (career, relationship, health), i think I'm batting way below .500. Because NFs tend to make decisions based on emotions, i feel like we really do need support or guidance from our more grounded friends/family.

    and i think this is even MORE important for NFPs because since they are so bad at making ANY kind of decision, they often just sit by and allow life/society/peer pressure/others make important decisions for them. does any of this ring true, based on your experiences?

  2. #2
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobinsonCrusoe View Post
    Whenever I reflect on all the BIG decisions I've made in my life (career, relationship, health), i think I'm batting way below .500. Because NFs tend to make decisions based on emotions, i feel like we really do need support or guidance from our more grounded friends/family.

    and i think this is even MORE important for NFPs because since they are so bad at making ANY kind of decision, they often just sit by and allow life/society/peer pressure/others make important decisions for them. does any of this ring true, based on your experiences?
    I would say no, at least not worse than any other type. What we ARE bad at, is getting over a bad decision and over-analyzing it to see what we could have done better. Speaking as an INFP, I have trouble with hasty decisions as there are too many alternatives and I seem to choose the bad ones. And of course, there is the matter of the practicality of the decision. But it's really just a matter of perspective. We are good at some types of decisions and not so good at others.

    And even batting .300 is still a damn good hitter in the majors
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

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    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  3. #3
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm happy with who I married, how many kids we had and when, my decision to stay home with them, and buying our house. Could have done better on some of the less big decisions.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Have I made bad decisions? Yes.
    Have I learned tremendously from them? Yes.
    Have I made good decisions? Yes.

    Nothing about NFs points to inevitably making bad decisions. Yes, we are more likely to be swayed by emotions, but some decisions can only be made with your 'heart'. Emotions are not all bad. NFPs might procrastinate and hold off on important decision making sometimes, but not always, it really depends on the situation and on the person. I personally struggle with Ne gone haywire sometimes, okay, a lot of the times. It's like my mind is zooming back and forth and again and again. I have learned to sit down, make a list and go over my options, list the pros and cons.

    I had a make a huge decision a few months ago that involved a lot of money. Whenever I feel that I regret it, I think about it more thoroughly and closely and realize that my reasons for it haven't changed. I made a huge decision based on the limited options I had. Whether it is right or wrong still can't be determined fully right now, but I don't regret it. I am proud that I made myself do something kind of risky in order to gain something important back. I had to do it anyway so I mustered up the courage and took the risk and I did it. Thinking is not our dominant forte, but we do have some of those skills.

    Since NFs are so analytical and self-aware, I think they learn a lot from bad mistakes and so, in the future, make better choices. Sometimes bad decisions cannot be avoided so we need to learn to stop kicking ourselves too hard about it (I do that a lot) and move forward.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Mr. Beanie's Avatar
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    Or are we just good at making bad decisions?

    Sorry, had to do it.

    Anyway, I have a few decisions that I regret a bit, but none that I haven't been able to turn around. I've been trying to stop the looking back and regretting that I tend to do. Trying to focus on the now (which, admittedly, I suck at).

    I think, like William and Rebe said, we NFs tend to look back and wish we'd have done something different, even if doing something different wouldn't have made too much of a difference. It's that way with all my friends/family who are NF.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Beanie View Post
    Or are we just good at making bad decisions?
    HaHaaaaHaa.... Story of my life...

    So then technically I would be a good decision maker then right?

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    I think when it comes to their personal lives, NFs may be a little indecisive, yes, but I don't think NFs make BAD decisions very often, as in reckless, thoughtless, selfish, stupid, etc. Maybe the ENFPs once in a while, but most of the NFs I have met are pretty conscientious and grounded. NF's learn how to stick up for themselves eventually, after which they don't make the bad decision of trying to decide other people's lives for them (except maybe ENFJ), because that usually doesn't go well after a while. I think ENFPs might have the most trouble out of the NF types in terms of getting influenced/pushed around, and don't realize it until it's too late if they haven't spent some time to get to know themselves.

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    Quote Originally Posted by clairebear8 View Post
    after which they don't make the bad decision of trying to decide other people's lives for them (except maybe ENFJ), because that usually doesn't go well after a while.
    Have you had this happen to you with an ENFJ?

  9. #9
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    'Good'? You mean like 'the best one out of a list that are possible'? The reason I think NFs aren't good at making decisions is that their F blocks out some of the decisions just 'because I don't like them' or 'they're bad/evil/whatever.' We're also more avoidant of problems than NTs who seem to thrive on them.

    Besides, what makes a decision good or bad? There are few truly 'bad' decisions and few truly 'good' decisions. I say if you're fine with your life, then the decisions you've made haven't been all bad.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    Besides, what makes a decision good or bad?
    Ummmm....that's an easy one.....jail time or no jail time..

    Good decision = no jail time

    Bad decision = jail time

    *but then again we probably live in two different worlds.

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