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  1. #21
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobinsonCrusoe View Post
    Whenever I reflect on all the BIG decisions I've made in my life (career, relationship, health), i think I'm batting way below .500. Because NFs tend to make decisions based on emotions, i feel like we really do need support or guidance from our more grounded friends/family.

    and i think this is even MORE important for NFPs because since they are so bad at making ANY kind of decision, they often just sit by and allow life/society/peer pressure/others make important decisions for them. does any of this ring true, based on your experiences?
    Well, anyone who makes any decision is basically just winging it. It is not possible to make a decision based on "solid facts" since it is you who selects the facts you include in the decision making. How do you know that those are all the facts you need? It is all subjective and it is a lot about how you feel about it. Even if you make a decision that is by everyone elses standards a bad one, if you feel good about it you are probably going to get good results no matter how bad it might seem.

    So, no, we are as good as the rest of the world. In fact, I think we are better! Ha!

  2. #22
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    NFs are excellent at helping others make a decision.

  3. #23
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Some of the replies have raised the issue of how do you decide what is a 'good' decision and what is a 'bad' one. Being an NF has the double whammy of being idealistic and instinctively trusting our guts. Perhaps outside validation is needed to figure out if the decision was good or bad, especially things that affect other people in your circle.
    There are plenty of times where I've done something 'wrong' and in my mind I would imagine how disappointed my family and friends would be. But after talking with them, a lot of times I realize that I'm my own worst critic and they aren't disappointed/angry/other negative emotions at all.
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  4. #24
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    I am actually quite rational at my core. I am emotionally inclined sure, but I can still see logic and rationality too. This means when I make a "bad" decision, its not that I am ignorant, its that I am just stupid. I will know something is a bad idea from every angle and say you know what? I dont give a shit if its gonna hurt me, if something is worth the risk its worth the risk, and I go for it. To date it has been a love/hate thing. When it works its incredible, when it doesnt, its god awful.
    Ground control to Major Tom

  5. #25
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    About a year ago, there was this movie that made me want to cry, and it inspired me to pack up everything I own and move to Germany. Now I'm flat-out broke and jobless, and I don't know what I'm going to do next. Don't be like me. Don't make decisions based on feelings.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    About a year ago, there was this movie that made me want to cry, and it inspired me to pack up everything I own and move to Germany. Now I'm flat-out broke and jobless, and I don't know what I'm going to do next. Don't be like me. Don't make decisions based on feelings.
    Oh man.......That is TOO funny!

    I hear ya....

    I've made decisions like that based solely on feeings...

    And now I'm a convicted felon.
    Last edited by Hate; 06-02-2010 at 09:05 AM. Reason: typo was bugging me

  7. #27
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    I don't find myself bad at decision making at all. I'm happy with what I pick out usually. It seems the bigger the decision is, the easier it is for me to make it. The small stuff sweats me sometimes, but I manage to stumble through life okay.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  8. #28
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I analyze the big decisions exhaustively until I know every possible outcome and the impact on every conceivable person involved. I obsessed about it until I know what I can and then I take the flying leap. I have taken some sizeable risks in my life after exhaustively analyzing every step. I don't regret anything, including situations that didn't turn out like I expected. I learned from everything and probably the most from disappointments. I think I've tended the make the best decisions I can based on whatever I am able to know at the time.

    I guess I think it is okay if things turn out differently than expected. That doesn't make the original decision a "bad" one.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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  9. #29
    Junior Member RobinsonCrusoe's Avatar
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    so if you're not BAD at making good decisions, does that mean all you are where you want to be in life right now?

    Are you all happy/content with what you have (job/relationship/hobbies/etc)?
    Was it a result of you making CONSCIOUS decisions to get to where you are...or was it more likely that you kind of just ended up there as life went along?

    my theory (and since it's a theory, i could be DEAD wrong) is that NFs are not very good at making big decisions about careers/relationships/other stuff. I know that ENFPs, especially, are prone to doing something that seemed so right at the time, only to see reality crush their fantasies later.

    I myself ran away from home at 17 and nearly starved to death because i had no money/job. By complete chance, I met a friend in the city I was in, and I stayed at his place until my parents came to pick me up. Man, talk about making mistakes! At the time, all I wanted to do was live on my own, away from my parents...sort of like my moniker, Robinson Crusoe. It's events like that that make me question my decision-making process.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobinsonCrusoe View Post
    so if you're not BAD at making good decisions, does that mean all you are where you want to be in life right now?

    Are you all happy/content with what you have (job/relationship/hobbies/etc)?
    Was it a result of you making CONSCIOUS decisions to get to where you are...or was it more likely that you kind of just ended up there as life went along?
    yes
    yes
    and yes (well, to the first part of the "or" anyway)

    I'm a huge believer in agency. If you take some control over your life, tread slightly carefully so as not to be absolutely stupid, and learn absolutely everything you can from every situation that you're in, you'll make less terrible decisions.

    there are problems with that philosophy, but that's for another day

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