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  1. #11
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    I love all the major life decisions Ive made. Remember, F is about values too.

    All my large decisions have been based off who I think I am and who I want to become. I have no regrets.

  2. #12
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    I don't think NFs are any worse than any other type when it comes to making decisions, good or bad ones.

    Sure, I make decisions based on emotions. Wouldn't have it any other way even though it's caused me a lot of grief when they haven't turned out to be that great. Because every decision I've made has felt like it is the right and good one at the time and I wouldn't have really listened to anybody giving me guidance. While I do take it into consideration and I don't go about making decisions without any reason involved, I would never let anybody make decisions for me either, no matter how good they happen to think it is for me. The only thing I can regret about making bad decisions is the awful long time it takes to get over the consequences. Time I could have spent more usefully.

  3. #13
    Member woolgatherer's Avatar
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    I've made a lot of decisions that have gotten me hurt, and often I know that's likely but do it anyways. I'll deal with the consequences later. My bad decisions might mostly be in relationships with the kind of people I choose and how much I tolerate.

    And yes I have a hard time making any decision a lot of the time.
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  4. #14
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Sounds more like a personal thing than a NF thing, my INFJ sis is a sound and grounded decision maker, she is influenced by her F in her decisions but not usually at the expense of common sense and logic.

  5. #15
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Sounds more like a personal thing than a NF thing, my INFJ sis is a sound and grounded decision maker, she is influenced by her F in her decisions but not usually at the expense of common sense and logic.
    Perhaps this is because "common sense" is actually an amalgam of what is logical and what is value based?

    I had a discussion with the boyfriend yesterday regarding "subjective" value based decisions that result in somewhat unpragmatic results in society. The final solution is not the most practical result-but is it still the correct result for the society making the choice?

    I have to assume we were equipped with these funny "values" via evolution for a reason-thus at times the ability to bypass direct efficiency/pragmatism/logic and use values does provide the best solution for the welfare of the group at large.

    OP-I long ago decided that logic was one of my few "values" thus almost always go with the logical choice-unless it will inflict pain upon others. At that point I then have to take a complex approach to the problem-which can leave me with feelings of guilt at times. But in general this strategy has left me with few decisions I regret. I am happy in general.

  6. #16
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    I've never made a bad decision in my whole life. These decisions were all good. Nananananana!
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
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  7. #17
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    I tend to be quite logical when making a decision, actually. If the evidence in front of me suggests I should do A, and A is the best option, then I will do that. This is when I mimic the INTJ. But I also hope that option A will also make me happier in the long run.

    Perhaps I've made bad decisions regarding who I've dated since the NiFe vision takes over and I think "I'll make this person better!" and they didn't fulfill the vision I had in store for them. I learned that lesson in the first relationship I had. Second relationship I listened to my gut more, and when the guy I was involved with started getting too clingy and weird for me, I made a quick exit. As much as I cared for him, I knew it wasn't going to work. I wanted him to be more logical and use common sense.

    When it comes to choosing a career, major, etc., I get very pragmatic about it. If I went with my feelings, I probably would be a musician at this point, but I decided that financial stability was more important to have in this day and age, so I went for science.

    Also, my parents are thinkers too. Growing up with an INTP and ISTJ certainly helped cultivate my Te and Ti processes, which in turn I end up making decisions with my head first, then heart. Just, like an INTJ, romantic relationships are my Achilles heel.
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  8. #18
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Doesn't ring true for me. I have always been a "head over heart" person in decision making - sometimes to a fault. I do not make big decisions based on emotion, and I can ignore my own emotion when I SHOULD listen to it. Emotions are important signals - they should not be followed blindly, but they also should not be totally disregarded.

    I do not have trouble in making big decisions either - I have trouble in small decisions because they don't matter much to me (ie. Friend: "What do you want to eat for lunch?" - Me: "IDK, whatever you want."). When it comes to large matters, I usually have a very clear idea of what I would like, and then I see how reasonable it is to achieve it.

    I admit I may put a lot of time/effort into exhausting possibilities first, but this research often aids in good decision making. It's just so exhaustive that it drains me, which is probably why I avoid responsibility for smaller decisions. Occasionally, I do over-think it and end up so exhausted that I don't make the best decision. It's kind of a "I'm tired of this subject & so I'm picking this option that seems easy."

    Strangely enough though, I am happier when I make decisions with my heart lately - I think it is a more refined/accurate system for Fs to make value-based decisions, but people in general usually discourage it. If we make bad decisions, maybe it's because our decision-making process is devalued by society and we've come to distrust it? I'm trying to trust it more and have seen some benefits.

    As for family/friend guidance, I can actually say that my biggest mistakes in life often came with their blessing....which just goes to show that many bad decisions can seem pretty good at the time (hindsight is 20/20).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  9. #19
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    First thought was... it's entirely subjective whether one thinks one person makes 'bad' decisions and another makes good ones! How do you determine what constitutes a good decision and a bad one?

    To the OP, none of it really rang true. Like pretty much everyone in the world, yes, I have made some decisions that, were I to do it again, I might do otherwise. But, you only know what you know at a given point in time - I decide on things to the best of my current knowledge/ability, and where I'm emotionally at in life. Also, I've changed some over the years, so I give myself that grace too - what I once decided upon was a reflection on where I was at then, and if the situation would come up a second time, I might decide differently based on new information/perceptions/etc.

    I've always put a lot of thought into pretty much everything I do, so as a general rule I don't think I make bad decisions. At least, from my own viewpoint. And I've also never really felt I decide things based on feeling/emotion. My own feeling/emotion is an important factor, but there are a lot of others and at times I've overrode the 'feeling' in favor of other elements. If anything I overanalyze and remain motionless longer than maybe I 'should' - but, I tend not to be dissatisfied with end results/decisions.
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  10. #20
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    I am where I am supposed to be, therefore every decision has brought me here.
    I base my decisions on subjectivity. But I can look at the results objectively.
    Objectively, all I have done is learn.

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