[ENFP] ENFP Tipping point in maturity

[getinnocuous]

Hi everyone!

This is my very first post, so go easy

I'm 26 years old and reaching that stage in my life where I can see a drastic change between the immature version of myself and the mature version of myself. As an ENFP male, this shift is drastic and incredibly noticeable.

The immature version of myself was a very unhealthy ENFP. Constant rumination. Unintentionally manipulating others using my charisma/charm. Having a volatile personality that went from moody to emo to elated within an hour. Developing close intimate relationships and then throwing them away.

Now though, I think (hope?) I've gone through enough life experiences to become more self-aware of my inner dialogue. I better know my goals and how to get there. I can use my creativity to my benefit. I'm generally much more happy and my moods don't shift as often. I have meaningful friends that understand my often crazy inner-life. I also use my charisma/charm for goodness sakes.

My question is this: Did other ENFPs undergo this shift from unhealthy to healthy? Or is this a general process for any maturing individual, regardless of personality type.

Nice to know you!

 

[Moiety]

Nope. You're a freak man.

Well, I'm 23. I have never felt guilty in my life of any interpersonal dealings I've had really. This doesn't stop people from calling me a dick or something like that every now and then, but it's probably because I was teasing them in some way, in my "TMI, don't give a fuck" way.

I've never been particularly moody, but I can definitely pinpoint a period in my life, not so long ago, where I felt I wasn't being too nice to people and definitely experienced some mood swings.

I would never consider myself immature. Irresponsible and childlike in humor maybe, but not actually immature. Certainly not when compared with most people out there...that's for sure.

 

[Lady_X]

what caused the shift? do you have people in your life who call you on your shit? if not...then get some. no one needs too many people around who think everything they do is fabulous...there's no growth in that.

but cool...i'm proud of you for trying to drop bad habits.

 

[getinnocuous]

what caused the shift? do you have people in your life who call you on your shit?

yes, i was lucky enough to have a couple friends call me out (in a non-abrasive way, tho). there have been people i've hurt that were disappointed at me (no duh). these people along with increased self-reflection kind of pushed me over the edge to choose to be more mature. thus, i hit a tipping point (or so i hope) in maturity.

again, wondering if this was ever a natural progression for ENFPs.

i have heard that ENFPs can have bouts as the Wild Child. i'm wondering how they mature with age... what does it look like? what strengths of the ENFP are increased and what weaknesses diminish?

 

[Lady_X]

oh i think if you indulge your ne to the point of justifying self serving behaviors based on some shallow fi values you could be reckless and hurtful to others...but maybe once made aware of the affect you have had it reminds you of an even more important value such as treating people with respect and being a loving genuine thoughtful person and making the choice to not explore options or indulge in behavior that contradicts that.

 

[Gigglezsomuch]

Excellent answer Lady X! I believe that to be especially true with myself and realize it more and more every day.


I'm very new to posting but I read all the time. I think it's about time I start posting...

 

[Lady_X]

Excellent answer Lady X! I believe that to be especially true with myself and realize it more and more every day.


I'm very new to posting but I read all the time. I think it's about time I start posting...

cool thanks and yes you should....nice to have ya.

 

[Xellotath]

I think you should be careful.

It's always a pleasant story to believe in tipping points, crucial moments... its kind of empowering because it says "I am done with the past, I am someone stronger" but please, remind yourself that the universe was not designed to teach you life-lessons - twice for us, as Fi would beg to differ.

Also, it would be wise to review your "enough experience" argument. It's not like human beings are born with a specific, cumulative quota to fill up before -click- ta-da! maturity.

Typology -suggests- that the exercising of the tertiary function Te, will be not only the door to "maturity", "self-development", but also an elixir, should we become unhealthy (a much debated status).

Obviously, it's no mystery that there's whole topics dedicated to Te and how it is supposed to work. You'll get testimonies ranging anything from "omg lets make lots of lists!" to "I can feel Te changing my oversensitive Fi - it is changing my braaain".

Which is cute, but can easily set you up for weeks..months...years of chasing psychological ghosts, all in the name of using Te better and thus bettering yourself. [Supplemental tip <3 : Its easy to make up a mission that says, i have problems, they will all go away if I exercise this function. That's a nasty trap. And if you feel insecure? Welcome to hell. Abandon all hope ye who enter here, because you'll -definitely- end up in pursuit of shiny, mysterious Te - stay sharp.]

In short I don't have a lot of advice, just watch your step. : )

 

[hitzjazzcat]

Hey everyone... I'm brand new to the board. I've been lurking around for a couple days, but I really feel a need to respond to this post, so I'm going to! I'm also an ENFP going through a "tipping point" in my life and would appreciate any advice there is to give!

I'm 25, and I've recently started to go to counseling to try to "find myself and my place in the world." I know it's a romanticized idea, but, hey... that's what we love, right? I've been abusing drugs and alcohol since I was 17, but now that I'm more sober than ever, I've realized how manipulative, hurtful, and flaky I've been, all in the name of "niceness" and not wanting to directly make someone feel a negative emotion. I naturally feel really badly about that, because I'm very uncomfortable with people not liking me, and I've seemed to accumulate a few enemies throughout the years... mainly by doing things like abandoning my friends for long periods of time or getting drunk and sleeping with boyfriends/brothers/ex-boyfriends/fiances/etc. (which was always an easy and fun task) in order to indirectly "get back" at someone for hurting me. In the end, I always felt ashamed of my behavior and I never really understood it.

I've been quite frustrated with myself on an ongoing basis for a long time, and I just decided one day that I was done with it. My life has become giant depletion of energy and I want my life and energy back. I think, for me, I had to sit down and have a long talk with myself about how serious I need to be about becoming healthy. I know that if I don't desire it 100% and dedicate myself to it, I'll never follow through, and I'll go back to my old behaviors. I genuinely want to be a good person, but I recognize that it won't happen unless I make it happen.

Did anyone else go through something similar? I hope this helps you, as well, getinnocuous... I don't mean to steal your thread and make it about me

 

[SillySapienne]

I peeked in maturity at age 17, kinda went up and downhill from there.

Devo.

Great group.

Gotta keep on chug chugging.

When you listen to your Fi, and control your Ne impulses, it will mature you and make you a better person.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

I peeked in maturity at age 17, kinda went up and downhill from there.

^^^^^^^
Yes, I might be called a geriatric asshole for this comment, but I'm compelled to say that I completely laughed my ass off when I read this.

If you have to ask me why, then you won't understand my answer.



SillySapienne <---------

 

[alcea rosea]

Hi everyone!

This is my very first post, so go easy

I'm 26 years old and reaching that stage in my life where I can see a drastic change between the immature version of myself and the mature version of myself. As an ENFP male, this shift is drastic and incredibly noticeable.

The immature version of myself was a very unhealthy ENFP. Constant rumination. Unintentionally manipulating others using my charisma/charm. Having a volatile personality that went from moody to emo to elated within an hour. Developing close intimate relationships and then throwing them away.

Now though, I think (hope?) I've gone through enough life experiences to become more self-aware of my inner dialogue. I better know my goals and how to get there. I can use my creativity to my benefit. I'm generally much more happy and my moods don't shift as often. I have meaningful friends that understand my often crazy inner-life. I also use my charisma/charm for goodness sakes.

My question is this: Did other ENFPs undergo this shift from unhealthy to healthy? Or is this a general process for any maturing individual, regardless of personality type.

Nice to know you!

Nice to know you too!

You are going throgh some growing like most of us are and not just ENFP's. I acted quite differently than you when young (and I'm a female ENFP) but still I can say that I was immature ENFP, very much outoign and extraverted, not looking inside of myself and not knowing myself and not caring so much about people around me. I went through a long crisis where I was first trying to be something I cannot be and then finding myself and accepting myself as I am. I've been ok with myself for some years now but I see there will be more growth in the future too, until I die probably.

But it's good to know one is growing! Sounds like you are going to a right direction in your life.

 

[Dialetheism]

You know your a immature ENFP when you see the title of this thread and go Eh, why worry about maturity, it's better to stay a kid at heart forever.

 

[animenagai]

Personally, no but I can see how this may be a typical problem for other ENFP's. I had a very INFP-esque childhood. My Fi moral compass really kicked in strongly when I was in high school and it was only afterwards that I started to really open up, so I guess there was never really a time for me to develop those kind of habits. Just out of curiosity, were you guys always the popular ones at school? I can see how an unrestrained indulgence in Ne without that Fi anchor could be dangerous, especially when you're young.

 

[mmhmm]

i don't have one.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

and I've seemed to accumulate a few enemies throughout the years... mainly by doing things like abandoning my friends for long periods of time or getting drunk and sleeping with boyfriends/brothers/ex-boyfriends/fiances/etc. (which was always an easy and fun task) in order to indirectly "get back" at someone for hurting me. In the end, I always felt ashamed of my behavior and I never really understood it.

I've always been wondering about this as the ENFPs I know of always try to get back someone in a very indirect way, like revealing things that contain double meaning only those who they targeted get it. It's quite eerie though because that sharply contrast to how friendly and people-oriented they are.

They tend to do this when someone repeatedly shows dislikeness toward them. I wonder if that's a common way for ENFPs to get even? I've hardly seen any one of them attacking a person in a direct manner.