I'm 26 years old and reaching that stage in my life where I can see a drastic change between the immature version of myself and the mature version of myself. As an ENFP male, this shift is drastic and incredibly noticeable.
The immature version of myself was a very unhealthy ENFP. Constant rumination. Unintentionally manipulating others using my charisma/charm. Having a volatile personality that went from moody to emo to elated within an hour. Developing close intimate relationships and then throwing them away.
Now though, I think (hope?) I've gone through enough life experiences to become more self-aware of my inner dialogue. I better know my goals and how to get there. I can use my creativity to my benefit. I'm generally much more happy and my moods don't shift as often. I have meaningful friends that understand my often crazy inner-life. I also use my charisma/charm for goodness sakes.
My question is this: Did other ENFPs undergo this shift from unhealthy to healthy? Or is this a general process for any maturing individual, regardless of personality type.
Nice to know you!
Nice to know you too!
You are going throgh some growing like most of us are and not just ENFP's. I acted quite differently than you when young (and I'm a female ENFP) but still I can say that I was immature ENFP, very much outoign and extraverted, not looking inside of myself and not knowing myself and not caring so much about people around me. I went through a long crisis where I was first trying to be something I cannot be and then finding myself and accepting myself as I am. I've been ok with myself for some years now but I see there will be more growth in the future too, until I die probably.
But it's good to know one is growing! Sounds like you are going to a right direction in your life.
Personally, no but I can see how this may be a typical problem for other ENFP's. I had a very INFP-esque childhood. My Fi moral compass really kicked in strongly when I was in high school and it was only afterwards that I started to really open up, so I guess there was never really a time for me to develop those kind of habits. Just out of curiosity, were you guys always the popular ones at school? I can see how an unrestrained indulgence in Ne without that Fi anchor could be dangerous, especially when you're young.
Chimera of Filth
A gruesome beast with dripping flesh
Clings to me as a sick fixture
My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
It stalks and hunts me through mirrors
and I've seemed to accumulate a few enemies throughout the years... mainly by doing things like abandoning my friends for long periods of time or getting drunk and sleeping with boyfriends/brothers/ex-boyfriends/fiances/etc. (which was always an easy and fun task) in order to indirectly "get back" at someone for hurting me. In the end, I always felt ashamed of my behavior and I never really understood it.
I've always been wondering about this as the ENFPs I know of always try to get back someone in a very indirect way, like revealing things that contain double meaning only those who they targeted get it. It's quite eerie though because that sharply contrast to how friendly and people-oriented they are.
They tend to do this when someone repeatedly shows dislikeness toward them. I wonder if that's a common way for ENFPs to get even? I've hardly seen any one of them attacking a person in a direct manner.