[Jungian Cognitive Functions] All is fair in love and war?

[Hate]

It seems like everywhere I turn I hear people agreeing with this statement, but I don't necessarily think I agree with it.

I was watching a movie the other day and in one scene a woman asks a man she began dating, "True or False....All is fair in love and war?" The guy answered, "True." And she looks at him with joy and says, "Good answer!" I would have answered false.. (Now granted this guy might have just been telling her what she wanted to hear, but let's just pretend he was telling the truth)

Also, the other day I overheard two guys talking in a restaurant. One of the guys was talking about how he was in love with his best friend's wife and he was going to try and steal her away from him... He justified this by saying, "Hey, all's fair in love and war."

Now of course war is a more complex issue. I kind of go back and forth on this one, but I lean more towards disagree. Now granted it's kind of hard to be fair if the people you're fighting against aren't being fair, but as an ENFJ i'm just compelled to abide by this subjective code of ethics that are in me.. So I'm guessing that's why I lean more towards disagree.

What do you think?

Agree or disagree? Why?

 

[Lady_X]

i just watched that too

umm...very very tricky question tho. i don't think any lines should be crossed but i'm not much for rules either...i think if someone were seeing someone and met someone else with whom they fell in love with and then realized they needed to end their relationship in order to be free to pursue the other one without ever telling the new person how they felt...without promises or deciding only to end the relationship if the other was interested...then...i think that seems like the right thing...so in a sense i respect that they broke the rule of not being tempted because it's honest and unfair to the person they're in a relationship with to stay out of obligation instead of want.

does that make sense?

 

[Arclight]

I don't know about it being fair.. but It might start a war.

So the relation continues ..

 

[Moiety]

Disagree for sure. There are values higher than romantic love and war. Ethics.

 

[sculpting]

not true-I dont value rules-but if you choose to be in a relationship with one person over the other, be straight forward and honest to both of them. It may be painful, but it prevents harm in the end.

It requires courage though.

 

[Southern Kross]

Legally the statement is false, which puts the whole debate into question.

Disagree for sure. There are values higher than romantic love and war. Ethics.

 

[BRMC117]

Legally the statement is false, which puts the whole debate into question.

I less than three you

 

[Lady_X]

explain to me how you guys are seeing it tho...because i too disagree that all's fair in love ...meaning nothing immoral should be justified in the name of love...so does my previous comment contradict that or is that still being ethical...just curious.

 

[BRMC117]

explain to me how you guys are seeing it tho...because i too disagree that all's fair in love ...meaning nothing immoral should be justified in the name of love...so does my previous comment contradict that or is that still being ethical...just curious.

I dont agree with "the end justifies the means" I think that, like you said first is ok, if someone falls in love with someone while in a relationship it should be brought up and no of that sneaky shit. (I think that was what you where thrying to say at first, I am not really sure couldn't follow it very well. I suck, I know)

 

[OrangeAppled]

This is one of those sayings that irks me - like the "what happens in ___, stays in ____".

 

[Rebe]

Are you talking about How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days?

My answer is no. It irks me too.

Even though it may be 'true love', there are still basic human integrity - like don't sleep with my wife because you are my best friend, yes, you may be in love with her, but that's not the way to go, yes, you are imperfect, you are human, but it's called self-control and there are moral boundaries, such as not killing each other. Not to say that you shouldn't tell your best friend's wife you love her, but 'tell' her, don't sleep with her.

Nope, love is many things but it's not 'all is fair'.

War is not fair at all. No war in history was ever fair. People who had nothing whatsoever to do with the conflict ended up being killed and mutilated.

It's an idiotic saying.

 

[Southern Kross]

I dont agree with "the end justifies the means" I think that, like you said first is ok, if someone falls in love with someone while in a relationship it should be brought up and no of that sneaky shit. (I think that was what you where thrying to say at first, I am not really sure couldn't follow it very well. I suck, I know)

This is one of those sayings that irks me - like the "what happens in ___, stays in ____".

Exactly. As if moral transgressions are rendered acceptable when the temptation is greater.

 

[Hate]

umm...very very tricky question tho. i don't think any lines should be crossed but i'm not much for rules either...

Ya… I’m not much for rules either.. but I do stick to a strict code of certain ethics… Do you consider them the same? So in your case, how do you distinguish when a line is being crossed and when it isn’t if you’re not much for rules?

i think if someone were seeing someone and met someone else with whom they fell in love with and then realized they needed to end their relationship in order to be free to pursue the other one without ever telling the new person how they felt...without promises or deciding only to end the relationship if the other was interested...then...i think that seems like the right thing...so in a sense i respect that they broke the rule of not being tempted because it's honest and unfair to the person they're in a relationship with to stay out of obligation instead of want.

does that make sense?

It makes sense to me… but maybe we’re both just weirdos…

But the situation you’re describing though is coming from the perspective of the person already in the relationship.. I agree it’s the right thing to do to end a relationship that’s based on obligation more than want if you fell in love with someone else… But what about from the perspective of the person that’s desiring someone that’s in a relationship.. Do you think it’s the right thing for them to pursue?

 

[Hate]

not true-I dont value rules-

When you say you don't value rules... What kind of rules are you referring to? Are you talking about rules like traffic laws or legal rules, school rules etc.? or are you talking about ethical rules like a persons morals? could you elaborate on the "I don't value rules" statement?

 

[Lady_X]

Ya… I’m not much for rules either.. but I do stick to a strict code of certain ethics… Do you consider them the same? So in your case, how do you distinguish when a line is being crossed and when it isn’t if you’re not much for rules?



It makes sense to me… but maybe we’re both just weirdos…

But the situation you’re describing though is coming from the perspective of the person already in the relationship.. I agree it’s the right thing to do to end a relationship that’s based on obligation more than want if you fell in love with someone else… But what about from the perspective of the person that’s desiring someone that’s in a relationship.. Do you think it’s the right thing for them to pursue?

no no ethics and rules are not the same thing to me and yeah i was looking at the issue in much too broad of a way...i don't think it is at all ethical to pursue someone who is in a relationship or while in one yourself.

 

[stalemate]

War - I think all is fair.

Love - My first thought was that all is fair if it is really love and not just some stupid fling but most people probably don't even know if it is really love or not until way after the fair/unfair action would have taken place. But then I thought, even it it was love, would I think it is fair to kill someone over it if no one was in danger? I decided no.

So I guess I disagree.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

I think that this statement is coined by individuals that would potentially or have already engaged in behavior that hurt others and then totally absolve themselves of personal responsibility in the relationship areas of life.

So it's total bullshit.

 

[Hate]

This is one of those sayings that irks me - like the "what happens in ___, stays in ____".

Absolutely.. this statement annoys the hell out of me… I think it’s even worse than the All is fair…. Nonsense

I gotta jump on the phrase bandwagon here because you stated it so well…”It irks me too”

Are you talking about How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days?

Actually yeah…. I was…haha … you picked up on that from just that phrase?... .. that’s pretty good.. I just seen it for the first time the other day.. I thought it was pretty good. But then again my opinion might be biased because I'll probably like any movie that Kate Hudson is in.

But keep it on the down low though, I told all my homeys I was watching gangster movies all day… not romantic comedies…

Not to say that you shouldn't tell your best friend's wife you love her, but 'tell' her, don't sleep with her

Out of curiosity though….How do you think this would play out in IRL? Do you think it’s always a good idea to speak up or do you think that some things are better left unsaid?

I agree.

Hey what happened… first I saw this statement alone… and then I saw parenthesis after it... and now the parenthesis are gone again….. Are you going back and forth perfectgirl?

 

[Lady_X]

well THEY said yes because they were both being underhanded about their whole date thing...but normal people i would assume disagree

 

[Unkindloving]

This truly sounds like a phrase all of my psychotic exes have lived by.
That's enough of a disagreement by me.