Anyone ever read the book "Managing Einstein" by - forgot who.
Recently, an extroverted friend ( ENFP ) asked me for a big favor. In short, to do the grunt work for her and then IF it works, I shall get paid a share.
I did not say a flat out no but wanted to show her how to do it herself but she refused citing the fact that she was very busy and had more interesting things to do and I could do it more efficiently, etc, etc.
The long and short of it was that "I" "did not understand", that "I" "could earn some extra money this way, that she has already made a deal with her company if I were to do it freelance, they'd pay me, etc.
So after much thinking, I am finding without much shock that though I enjoy the company of this extrovert as a buddy/friend, doing business with that person may/ will change the dynamics too much and introduce more of a employer-employee or big boss-worker dynamic. And I don't think that I can handle that. In my experience, family and/or friends do not mix well with business.
My solution in those cases often is to show them how to do something and let them run with it. I teach them freely and then it is up to them what they do or don't do with it. But here, I met with a flat refusal to even want to learn..."I am not interested but you can do it more efficiently", etc. I am perplexed and rather disappointed. And yea, I am a bit hurt too that the things that I do well are met with such disdain. ( Useful but not fun. Got more interesting things to do. )
The nagging questions are:
Why are the extroverts in my life always telling me what to do?
I need a few stock phrases to be able to say no without ruffling their feathers.
I don't want to get to the point where I need to door-slam to make them understand that though I am willing to help, I will not be treated as a convenient friend.
Do they (be honest, extroverts!) consider us as convenient?