[NF] Dislike talking about friends

[trondor]

This is a trait I have and I wonder if this trait are shared with others.

I dislike talking about my friends with other pople.

It's not that I am ashamed of my friends or anything, but it just feels strange to talk about them. Especially to strangers. It's like I'm illoyal, that I do something wrong by trying to define my relationship with them without their consent. It works a little better if they are present and can adjust me if I say something wrong, but it still feels uncomfortable.

But since alot of bonding requires talking about other people, I feel a little.. handicapped in forming new relationships so to say.

It was when I went to a therapist I got aware of this tendency with me. He asked whetever I actually had any friends, since I never talked about people. I never even noticed I avoided talking about them.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Yes, I do this.

I am not inclined to the kind of chit chat about people that most others engage in. I suppose it is because I prefer to talk about ideas, feelings/opinions, & concepts over facts, specific details, & events. Analytical conversation is preferred to an info exchange. Since most people are interested in just exchanging info, this leaves me quiet & tongue-tied in conversations, & so it's hard for me to connect to people.

 

[trondor]

Before I used to generalize when talking about social experiences. Instead of "Petter told me" I said "I've heard" or "some people say".

I think this tendency to not talk about other's might alienate me from people. Since people can't connect me with other people, they might not think I am part of the group. And I have noticed people having alot of different ideas about me because of that. What I am like and so on. Not talking about other's might make other's not talk about me, and thus distance me from their social chart.

I've been trying to force myself to talk about my relations more often, put me out there as a real person like the others, but I often find my inexperience making it seem forced. Like I'm name dropping when telling people that "Daniel introduced me to this cool music".

 

[Rebe]

Hmm...interesting. I talk about my close friends with other close friends because they are such a large part of my life that it's not possible to not mention each of them at some point. I share anecdotes, their funny quirks, their annoying habits, but only with my tight circle of friends who I trust so it's not 'gossiping', it's just sharing our lives.

With strangers, I don't like to share any part of my life. An extroverted friend of mine talks about really private things to complete strangers whereas I keep my personal details to myself! In my mind, in the grand scheme of things, what do they care what I like to do with my free time or what my favorite nail polish color is. Who the hell cares? I don't about them and I am sure they don't about me. If it is relevant, I will name-drop but if it's not, I am not inclined to, but I don't have a particular tick about it.

 

[musicnerd93]

I might say things to a family member if a friend and I did something funny together that I want to share. But, I do feel a little irregular just talking about it to people who don't even know the person I'm talking about.