[MBTI General] NFJs talk to me about your J

[JoSunshine]

This is how I think of it:

NTJ - This is what I think you should do.
NFJ - This is what I think I can do for you.

NTJ excel at executing their plans. NFJ (at least this NFJ) excels at executing other peoples plans with little direction. I use my Fe in combination with my N to understand people and then use my J to execute plans that I believe to be to their specifications / preferences.

 

[Random Ness]

In other words you understand that organizing is good but I am wondering how do you actually do it ? Especially if you are alone and you need to take care of yourself instead of someone else ? Do you use Te in that situations ?

I use my Ti for this. The wonderful practicality of Ti should show you just how good I am at it.


BTW, I suppose my Fe would explain why I don't find whiny people "appropriate". To me, it's just bringing down the group atmosphere by injecting pain into it. That's not good. Yet, one person who talks about their problems a lot was an ESTP (tert Fe). So IDK.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I can be really organized and from the time I was a toddler would take to organizing anything I encountered. I'm not intrusive on people's behavior generally or try to get them to "behave" unless I think it is a literally threatening situation like bullies ganging up on someone suicidal, and then I jump in, but it is uncomfortable. I'm also driven towards goals if they are meaningful to me. I'm tenacious in reaching my own goals, but I don't tend to extend that to other people.

 

[INTPness]

This is how I think of it:

NTJ - This is what I think you should do.
NFJ - This is what I think I can do for you.

NTJ excel at executing their plans. NFJ (at least this NFJ) excels at executing other peoples plans with little direction. I use my Fe in combination with my N to understand people and then use my J to execute plans that I "believe" to be to their specifications / preferences.

I recently went home to visit family and friends and as my plane landed and I turned on my phone, I got text messages from my ENFJ friend stating that her and I and several other friends of mine were all getting together that very night and that the following morning, her and I were going to breakfast together. She wasn't asking me if it worked with my schedule, she was telling me where to go and who was going to be there. When I texted and said that tonight wouldn't work, she texted me back a while later and said she re-organized the dinner for Wednesday night instead to accomodate me. I finally had to tell her, "Stop planning anything for me. This is my trip and if I want to plan something, I'll plan it myself. Stop telling me what my agenda is. It's my agenda, not yours." I went to breakfast with her and we had great fun like we always do, but when I spoke to her about my frustration she said, "I thought you would want all of that." Thing is, she never bothered to ask me (a) if that's what I wanted in the first place or (b) if any of her time and dates worked for me. I appreciate the thought for sure, but it's like, "What the heck? Why don't I just call you every Sunday night and you can tell me what my schedule is for the coming week." Like my own personal planner.

 

[LotsOfHeart]

For me, I guess, being a "J" doesn't necessarily involve Te because from what I've heard Te seems to be critical of the world around it while Ti is critical of the self. Obviously, even INFJs have Te, and from a strictly MBTI viewpoint, just less of it than almost any other type, except ExFJs, but that's kind of beside the point. I guess with me, I have certain values, and I judge things according to those most of the time. One definite example of my judging would be I am on time to everything, and expect more or less the same from everyone else I know. When I make a decision, I stick to it. When others don't do this, I don't like to, but I can get pissed if it's done excessively. I don't always come to decisions quickly, and am not a super-strong J, but I do like organization.

Where I went to undergrad, my schedule was very organized. In grad school, it wasn't. This drove me nuts because I liked structure as long as it was good structure. I didn't like having class in the afternoon til nighttime...Not that I don't like staying up late, I do very much...But I like that time to be free if possible, I guess.

But I don't like being confined to a schedule to the point it is paralyzing (in my mind)... I don't like going to bed and getting up at the same time every night. I don't enjoy scheduling every part of my day either.

I am not a huge decision maker or conclusion-drawer really, but when I make a decision, be it about a person, place or idea, I tend to stick with it until proven otherwise. I am flexible to being proven otherwise, though.

 

[JoSunshine]

And we all know how much you hate that crap

I'll be the first to admit that Fe in overdrive can be a real pain in the @ss. However, in its subtler forms, it can be quite lovely...it requires really taking the time (and having the aptitude) to understand someone. Sometimes that understanding means knowing NOT to do do things "for" people - because if you try to force something on someone they don't want you really aren't doing anything but annoying them.

P.S. I crack up every time I see your avatar.

I recently went home to visit family and friends and as my plane landed and I turned on my phone, I got text messages from my ENFJ friend stating that her and I and several other friends of mine were all getting together that very night and that the following morning, her and I were going to breakfast together. She wasn't asking me if it worked with my schedule, she was telling me where to go and who was going to be there. When I texted and said that tonight wouldn't work, she texted me back a while later and said she re-organized the dinner for Wednesday night instead to accomodate me. I finally had to tell her, "Stop planning anything for me. This is my trip and if I want to plan something, I'll plan it myself. Stop telling me what my agenda is. It's my agenda, not yours." I went to breakfast with her and we had great fun like we always do, but when I spoke to her about my frustration she said, "I thought you would want all of that." Thing is, she never bothered to ask me (a) if that's what I wanted in the first place or (b) if any of her time and dates worked for me. I appreciate the thought for sure, but it's like, "What the heck? Why don't I just call you every Sunday night and you can tell me what my schedule is for the coming week." Like my own personal planner.

 

[INTPness]

I'll be the first to admit that Fe in overdrive can be a real pain in the @ss. However, in its subtler forms, it can be quite lovely...

I couldn't agree more!

 

[cacaia]

This thread solidified it for me. thanks, all, I know solidly who I am now ;-)
PS- No joke. No sarcasm. Really, thanks.

 

[Virtual ghost]

This thread solidified it for me. thanks, all, I know solidly who I am now ;-)
PS- No joke. No sarcasm. Really, thanks.

You are welcome.

 

[Jaguar]

Fe is connected with "behaving properly" -- and that in itself is pretty J, IMO...

I used to have a female "INTJ" harass me for my "improper behavior". Eventually, I just put her on my ignore list and changed my settings so she couldn't PM me anymore. What a stalker. Jesus. I just realized she was also an E1. That would play a role.