User Tag List

First 123 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 27

Thread: ESFJs and ENFPs

  1. #11
    Member Waffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    76

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I've never dated an ESFJ, but I have a good friend who is an ESFJ. She does take care of me in many ways. And I do spice her life up a bit.

    However, I can't really see me being happy dating an ESFJ. However, there is a lot of variability in how ESFJs operate in the world.

    I think ESFJs, in their formative years, are supposed to pick up their values from the the values of the those around them. So if your ESFJ was raised around sexist people, he's going to be sexist now.

    I still go back to the well hashed point on this forum which is ENFPs need lots of variety and to feel like they are not being controlled. I think for ESFJs, once they make up their mind, that's just the way things are. This would drive me INSANE.

    ENFPs always see the possibilities... like Waffle is seeing the possibilities in this ESFJ. However, if you take time to sort through the facts, I think you'll find that seeing the potential in a relationship doesn't mean that's the potential that would be realized if a relationship were initiated.
    I see what you mean. My ESFJ wasn't raised in a supper huggy home, so he's not super huggy. However, I brought the cuddly side of him. I think ENFPs have the power to bring out the potential in anyone, because we want to see them living their lives to the fullest.
    Though a lot of MBTI description websites discourage an ENFP-ESFJ relationship, many ENFPs seem drawn to the ESFJ. Those MBTI websites often call this a "Benefactor-Beneficiary" relationship. But maybe this is that relationship in a positive light. They worry that once the beneficiary doesn't need anything anymore, they will the leave the benefactor. But in this case, the ENFP will always be in need of someone to tell them how lovely and amazing they are, and to hug them and to tell them it's ok. The ESFJ can provide this phenomenally, and is often just happy seeing the ENFP thrive. I guess it may feel like they fulfilled their duty. I actually don't think that's an unhealthy basis for a relationship, and have often seen that be a basis for a lot of longstanding relationships.
    "I do not have delusions of grandeur. I am grand!" - My Mother (An ENTP)

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    you may regret saying that. I did.

    NTJs are the best match, imo. I thought i wouldnt like NTJs, but then I met INTJ and it was WOW!!!!like nothing before!!

    ... anyway.. I am not expirienced with ESFJ guys but I know my INFP friend is very into them. And one ENFP friend is also very attracted to ESFJ guys. However, I think it's only initial attraction and they (my friends) wouldnt work with them because of S/N differences...
    cheese chloee? haha i like it.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #13
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    NTJs are the best match, imo. I thought i wouldnt like NTJs, but then I met INTJ and it was WOW!!!!like nothing before!!... However, I think it's only initial attraction and they (my friends) wouldnt work with them because of S/N differences...
    I'm with Chloee on this one. INTJs and INFJs are awesome matches for me. I've dated both. Would love to have dated an ENTJ but never had the opportunity. There's just gotta be an N in there somewhere.

  4. #14
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    xNFP
    Posts
    117

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Waffle View Post
    I think ENFPs have the power to bring out the potential in anyone, because we want to see them living their lives to the fullest.
    Yes!

    Quote Originally Posted by Waffle View Post
    Though a lot of MBTI description websites discourage an ENFP-ESFJ relationship, many ENFPs seem drawn to the ESFJ. Those MBTI websites often call this a "Benefactor-Beneficiary" relationship. But maybe this is that relationship in a positive light. They worry that once the beneficiary doesn't need anything anymore, they will the leave the benefactor. But in this case, the ENFP will always be in need of someone to tell them how lovely and amazing they are, and to hug them and to tell them it's ok. The ESFJ can provide this phenomenally, and is often just happy seeing the ENFP thrive. I guess it may feel like they fulfilled their duty. I actually don't think that's an unhealthy basis for a relationship, and have often seen that be a basis for a lot of longstanding relationships.
    It really is a good relationship, he always had something to teach me, and I was always eager to listen. Of course there was the problem of him thinking that he was smarter than me, but then I'd prove him wrong and he'd praise me every time I impressed him, which I liked a lot. They love to compliment, and ENFPs love to be complimented. As long as they both have the same values and the ESFJ has a tolerance for silly ENFP behavior, it's a very good relationship.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  5. #15
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    xNFP
    Posts
    117

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    Would love to have dated an ENTJ but never had the opportunity. There's just gotta be an N in there somewhere.
    My best guy friend is an ENTJ and there were moments when we liked each other, but never dated. I was attracted to his confidence and loved listening to all his theories. He's a really brilliant guy. But I was completely turned off by how judgmental he is. He's extremely loyal, though, once you get close to him.
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

    ~Don't ignore the truth, it will set you free.

    ~10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you deal with it.

  6. #16
    Member Waffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    76

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovereeses View Post
    My best guy friend is an ENTJ and there were moments when we liked each other, but never dated. I was attracted to his confidence and loved listening to all his theories. He's a really brilliant guy. But I was completely turned off by how judgmental he is. He's extremely loyal, though, once you get close to him.
    That's kind of why I like the INFJ and ESFJ over the ENTJ and INTJ. The feeling function really cushions the judging function. They're a little less... harsh with their thoughts. My ENTP mother, though on the same wavelength of thoughts most of the time, can really rub me the wrong way with how she states things. They can be harsh and to the point of being rude. ENTPs like to steal the spotlight, but it seems to always be in a light less charming than the ENFPs around me. I'm working on my relationships with the ENTPs (There are a few) I know.
    "I do not have delusions of grandeur. I am grand!" - My Mother (An ENTP)

  7. #17
    Member Waffle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    2
    Posts
    76

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovereeses View Post
    Yes!



    It really is a good relationship, he always had something to teach me, and I was always eager to listen. Of course there was the problem of him thinking that he was smarter than me, but then I'd prove him wrong and he'd praise me every time I impressed him, which I liked a lot. They love to compliment, and ENFPs love to be complimented. As long as they both have the same values and the ESFJ has a tolerance for silly ENFP behavior, it's a very good relationship.
    Yeah! As long as your ESFJ can take being shown wrong (Which I've seen a lot of ENFPs happy to do. We're show-offs. ), it can be a pretty good relationship.
    "I do not have delusions of grandeur. I am grand!" - My Mother (An ENTP)

  8. #18
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INT*
    Posts
    40

    Default

    I normally go for INTJ ( and still like them a lot) bur recently I've been drawn to a particular ESFJ

    He's really handsome and sweet but I feel like it's fake sometimes. He was home schooled and has strong moral values.

    He also doesn't respond to my humor. He's very under exposed. But I like him. He has innocent eyes and can seem introverted at times.

    I know he's probably not interested in me but I just want to do naughty things to him haha! Just being honest! Everything about his body screams " kiss me please"!!!!!! Hahaha!

  9. #19
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    ESFJ
    Posts
    4,915

    Default

    ^^^

    Oh darling .. Stop speculating .. Although please don't ask him if he is fake, lol. How do you know he is not interested? You need to be direct and tell him you want to do naughty things to him .. Bite the bullet and go for it. That's exactly what i'd do.

    Good luck.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #20
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILE Ti
    Posts
    3,644

    Default

    I'm... kinda scared to death of the prospect of dating an SFJ. :horor: It'd be like dating my mother.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Teacher (Idyllic), ESE-IEI (Si-ESFj), SLue|I|, Sanguine-Melancholy
    Sage, True Neutral (Chaotic Good), Type III Anti-Hero
    Inventive > Artistic > Leisurely > Dramatic
    7w6 > 4w3 > 9w8, weakside sp/so

    Dark Worker (Sacrificing)
    Freewheeling Designer

    Hayekian Asshole


Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] ESFP and ENFP Relationships
    By PeaceRobin in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 12-15-2015, 10:24 PM
  2. [ENFP] Humanitarian and Non-profit orgs and ENFPs
    By Malkavia in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 10-15-2011, 08:34 PM
  3. [ENFP] NFs and ENFPs and meeting new people...
    By gigi_xo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-06-2010, 01:12 PM
  4. [ENFP] To INFP's and ENFP's...
    By lunalove in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 100
    Last Post: 04-15-2010, 07:26 PM
  5. [ENFP] ADHD and ENFP
    By v-in-tx in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 02-09-2010, 08:45 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO