haha, I have told guys how wonderful, great, awesome they were... basically a bit overkill.... almost to the point where its like "my God, this girl's obsessed with me and wants to jump my bones". However, in reality, I'm usually thinking that "the guy is such a great catch but we would probably kill each other... so no thanks." I'm learning how NOT to go overboard w/ Fe. It can terrify people.
I was told today by an INTJ that my methodolgy for dealing with people is to kiss their ass. His interpretation of Fe. I consider it diplomacy. But I wonder...to what degree does that affect me with girls...
The INTJ in question is naive and foolhardy.
ENFJs shower people with compliments and act warm and welcoming... for the purpose of steering the unsuspecting flock of sheep in the direction of their cult of personality. And while you are busy thinking your ass is being kissed, next thing you realize, you just downed a cup of grape kool aid.
Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.
I have a photograph of my rear-end to usher people toward, not the other way around.
Most of the "critique" I hear about that sort of thing usually comes from immature NTs who don't know how to use diplomacy yet and feel every social action they take somehow stands in huge violation of their internal creed (whatever that happens to be) and decries that *everyone* is trying to manipulate them. Send them a well-meaning birthday card and watch the fireworks.
The best "handlers" of people I ever saw were an ENTP and an ENTJ.
eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
AIS Holland code
I make others very aware of what i do/don't do for them if that's suspected.
You know my ENFP and it's likely that he thinks i kiss his ass / agree with him just to agree. I've had to inform him that he's one of the few who i almost completely respect and i don't throw out compliments or agreement where it isn't due.
Other friends have recently said "You have to say that because you're my friend" and i inform them that i don't have to say anything nice for that reason and i wouldn't say anything nice for that reason alone.
Most people can't be expected to understand without a bit of an explanation. There is usually too little contact from people who encourage intensely where they feel it's due. There is also a complete obliviousness to the fact that we will tend to zero in on what we are encouraging, unless a negative gets in the way of our promoting or is brought to our attention.
Personally, i counter it with a lot of little remarks like Geoff mentioned. With a lot of people, i start off on the remarking foot.
You're a very squishy person (not in an INFP way, which i'm hoping you understand based on previous conversations) and that's a pretty dominant trait. You're also a bit brash and that shows here and there. Just make sure you become aware of yourself and don't just forcefeed females positivity. You're more of a whole person that stands out when the brash comments start to roll here and there. It'll work to your advantage.
A common problem for most men of various types is being nice vs. being an asshole. That isn't how it works. There's no switch to flip and i'm sure you know that. Too many men think they need to be really far to one side of the spectrum or to bounce between the two, bipolarly.
Be neutral. Lean with it, rock with it - so to speak.
Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man