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[INFJ] INFJ Harassment

ilovereeses

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Dec 29, 2009
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116
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eNFP
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9w8
IGNORE HIM at all costs. If you respond, its almost like you are giving into him.

Yeah, I've ignored all his texts after I texted him saying that "we have nothing else to talk about, you apologized and I forgave you. This stuff you keep texting me is the reason we can't be friends."

After some angry texts, he sent me the one saying that he gives up. It seems like it was too easy this time though...last time he called me about 42 times a day, making me have to block his phone number x_x

He said that he's maned up now, though, so I hope he really has and respects me.
 

ilovereeses

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Dec 29, 2009
Messages
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eNFP
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9w8
Tell him that it's over, there's nothing more to discuss and threaten to call the cops on him if he continues to harass you.

He actually dared me to call the cops once, because he didn't care what it took to talk to me.
 

Lightyear

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Jul 3, 2008
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899
He actually dared me to call the cops once, because he didn't care what it took to talk to me.

His behaviour makes him sound like a psycho. Cut him out of your life as thoroughly as possible and if necessary call the cops.
 

cafe

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Apr 19, 2007
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9,827
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Any response you give him is like telling a kid you aren't going to buy them candy at the grocery store and then, when they throw a temper tantrum, giving them a chocolate bar. It rewards the behavior and causes it to continue.
 

ilovereeses

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Ok, thanks everyone for your opinions. He's already avoiding me in every way possible, so that makes it easy to cut off all communication. So, I just hope he keeps it up, cuz I don't wanna have to start going to a different church just to get away from him >_<
 

cafe

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Ok, thanks everyone for your opinions. He's already avoiding me in every way possible, so that makes it easy to cut off all communication. So, I just hope he keeps it up, cuz I don't wanna have to start going to a different church just to get away from him >_<
I hope he leaves you alone. It really sucks for an introvert to get settled into a new church.
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
Messages
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ISFJ
Ok, thanks everyone for your opinions. He's already avoiding me in every way possible, so that makes it easy to cut off all communication. So, I just hope he keeps it up, cuz I don't wanna have to start going to a different church just to get away from him >_<

That's what you get for dating someone religious.
 

rogue1

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Jan 18, 2010
Messages
26
MBTI Type
INFJ
wow..he is weird...
He doesnt sound very infj to me, but if he is then I would say closure is what he is seeking. "you are weird and I dont want you. Dont call again." I have never had to say much to an INFJ to make them walk away... lol and not look back. In my experience, they are the easiest people to get rid of.
ANY communication is hope for him so it would be best to cut it off and not answer his attempts.
 

ilovereeses

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Dec 29, 2009
Messages
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He might not be religious for long... because God's obviously not answering his prayers.

He'll stay religious, he just thinks that I'm not being a true Christian because I won't face my fears...

I found out that he did visit a couple weeks ago though, looking for me. I was on vacation that week luckly, but it still kinda freaked me out.
 

ilovereeses

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Messages
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wow..he is weird...
He doesnt sound very infj to me, but if he is then I would say closure is what he is seeking. "you are weird and I dont want you. Dont call again." I have never had to say much to an INFJ to make them walk away... lol and not look back. In my experience, they are the easiest people to get rid of.
ANY communication is hope for him so it would be best to cut it off and not answer his attempts.

Lucky you, lol. The last time we talked in person I did tell him that I didn't want to talk to him again. But he never listened to what I was saying and just kept begging. The only way to make him leave was to say that I'd talk to him again when I'm ready to. But I made it very clear that we would never date again.

I never totally cut off communication with him, but I did ignore him. He was the one that ended up cutting off all communication with me in the end.
 

cascadeco

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Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
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Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Lucky you, lol. The last time we talked in person I did tell him that I didn't want to talk to him again. But he never listened to what I was saying and just kept begging. The only way to make him leave was to say that I'd talk to him again when I'm ready to. But I made it very clear that we would never date again.

I never totally cut off communication with him, but I did ignore him. He was the one that ended up cutting off all communication with me in the end.

Ooh..yikes. You're still giving him 'hope'. And like someone else mentioned earlier, he's taking advantage of your softness/compassion because he knows if he wears you down you'll eventually give in.

Blunt question: Do you have a hard time letting people out of your life completely? I'm just not really understanding why you're being so 'nice' to him. It at least comes across that way. Is it an impossibility on your end to just tell him, quite bluntly and **sincerely**, that you never want to talk to him, ever, again, and you want him to get the hell out of your life?? He sounds very unhealthy.

On some level are you actually entertaining the notion of maybe being able to be friends months down the line? Unless you are, I don't really understand why you aren't being a lot harsher in tone/message.
 

ilovereeses

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Dec 29, 2009
Messages
116
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Blunt question: Do you have a hard time letting people out of your life completely? I'm just not really understanding why you're being so 'nice' to him. It at least comes across that way. Is it an impossibility on your end to just tell him, quite bluntly and **sincerely**, that you never want to talk to him, ever, again, and you want him to get the hell out of your life?? He sounds very unhealthy.

On some level are you actually entertaining the notion of maybe being able to be friends months down the line? Unless you are, I don't really understand why you aren't being a lot harsher in tone/message.

It's just hard for me to be mean in general. I'm a lot more blunt than I used to be after him, though.

There was one time when I was very blunt with him. He had called me at midnight saying, "Hey! I'm sorry I can't talk to you tonight, I'm sleeping over at Lauren's house! (A girl that had KISSED HIM 2 DAYS AGO!) We're gonna go play in the snow! *laughing in the background* Bye!"

After he hung up, I sat there on my bed in complete amazement at what a total ass he was. I texted him saying that what he was doing was wrong on so many levels and that I never wanted to see him again." Then I turned off my phone so that he couldn't reply.

Of course the next day I had to turn on my phone, so I could stay in contact with other people. But then I get a huge mass of voicemails and texts from him all angry and swearing at me. Then he starts calling me and I freak out. So I ignored all his calls. I eventually ended up talking to him, though, and the reason he was so mad was because I "over exaggerated" and "jumped to conclusions." Apparently there were other people at her house that night too, but he never even told me that, so I chewed him out about it. I made him cry so hard, and for the first time, I didn't feel guilty about it.


The reason I gave him hope to being friends again was because I was willing to forgive and forget and start over as only friends, but he wouldn't let go of the past, so now I don't see a chance of us ever being able to get along again.
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
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Being mean and being blunt are different things.
 

ilovereeses

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Dec 29, 2009
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9w8
Being mean and being blunt are different things.

Yeah, you're right. And like I said, I've been a lot more blunt after all of this, because I realized that I need to speak up for myself or else people will take advantage of me. He just always translated my bluntness into being mean to him.
 
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