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  1. #1
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Default INFPs why do I want 2b ur BFF but don't want to date you? (ENFP ponders the paradox.)

    Two of my best friends in the whole world are INFPs. I adore INFPs! They are my partners in crime when it comes to all matters of intellectual reverie. But I've never been interested in dating an INFP, which seems counter-intuitive to me.

    If INFPs and ENFPs had lots of natural conflict between their respective personalities, I might understand the natural routing to the "friends" box that I do. But I feel like my INFPs friends are my soul mates ... in a BFF kind of way. So is there something that INFPs and ENFPs provide each other that makes them great soul mates, but not a natural choice for being SOUL MATES (in an I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you kind of way)?

    I was discussing this matter with another ENFP today when it occurred to me this would be a great topic for the forum. Please share your insights!

  2. #2
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    In my experience, a more accurate word is kindred.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  3. #3
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Wouldn't it be a little boring to date someone TOO similar to you? It makes sense if you feel especially close to friends similar to you though.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  4. #4
    Oberon
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    INFPs why do I want 2b ur BFF but don't want to date you?
    Because you're too damn picky.

  5. #5
    Junior Member StephAnne04's Avatar
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    I know how you feel. I absolutely adore INFPs. I have actually been in a relationship with one. But now.. I beginning to realize that probably wasn't a good idea. As friends, they're great. They give me the assurance I need and I don't push them too hard. But being in a romantic relationship with one has shown to be problematic. I get more emotionally invested and hate when they disappear on me without telling me. That is just one example of the numerous differences that caused problems int eh relationship that wouldn't have come up in a friendship.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    No sexual chemistry, no mystery, no tension, no fire. And still there are some differences that annoy.
    Hot-hearted head

  7. #7
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    If INFPs and ENFPs had lots of natural conflict between their respective personalities, I might understand the natural routing to the "friends" box that I do. But I feel like my INFPs friends are my soul mates ... in a BFF kind of way. So is there something that INFPs and ENFPs provide each other that makes them great soul mates, but not a natural choice for being SOUL MATES (in an I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you kind of way)?
    I don't know... I've had romantic chemistry with 2 ENFPs in my life, so I can't sign on with the whole INFP doesn't mesh with ENFP theory. (I will say, however, that ENFPs sometimes bring out the IxTJ side of me, which can get tiring for both of us.)

    I think it's more that you haven't met the right INFP. The natural ease of friendship between the two types might just draw your focus to the lack of romantic chemistry more than it would for other types. On paper, the friendship is everything you *think* you want. However, paper doesn't mean a thing when it doesn't have that zing!

  8. #8
    #005645 phthalocyanine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    (I will say, however, that ENFPs sometimes bring out the IxTJ side of me, which can get tiring for both of us.)
    i too feel like i'm more often in the role of a T-dom with ENFP company... i wonder why.

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.."
    -Oscar Wilde



  9. #9
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Yes, I feel that way around other Fs (particularly NFs)... I find myself taking on this almost Te role or something... not that I even understand exactly what Te is, but I often find myself filling the role that a Te person would fill in MY life...
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phthalocyanine View Post
    i too feel like i'm more often in the role of a T-dom with ENFP company... i wonder why.
    I become J-ish with other NFPs.
    Hot-hearted head

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