[ENFJ] ENFJS are you obsessive?

[lilypad]

Hi guys

I sometimes exihibit slightly obssessive behaviours, specifically, when I have a relationship problem, or a breakup or fall out with a close friend...it is literally all I can think about.

You can see it in my face, friends tell me they know when somethings up even when I try to hide it - does anybody else have this focus on negative things when they occur?

 

[Glycerine]

Yeah with future goals... everything NEEDS to work out or else.

 

[Domino]

Werd. My Ni-Ti axis can get OUT OF CONTROL. Things *must* make sense. I'll tear something absolutely limb from limb, dissect it down to atoms, make a million computations, replay "video" footage, just totally pull it to pieces in my head to extract every last detail in order to understand what happened. On a good day, this sort of thing serves me very well. On a bad day, it takes me hostage.

I've found the best way to break the cycle is to engage yourself physically. I exercise like a mad thing. Yesterday, I mopped the kitchen floor with a vengeance. I have weak Se, but engaging it and letting it guide me in personal matters of relief can be significant.

 

[Rebe]

You think it is a type thing or a personality thing?
I am definitely obsessive too.
It's like my mind needs a piece of cheese to mull over and over again no matter what and it is healthier if I choose a healthy topic such as world news instead of personal flaws.

 

[Domino]

My ENFP twin can obsess the hind legs off a mule. I've gotten pretty good at seeing the signs and redirecting her, usually by playing together - like doing puzzles or games together, or reading to her while she knits.

 

[Unkindloving]

I most certainly get like this, especially with lack of closure.
I have a self-awareness focus and a people-focus. I build up both as best as i can and if something goes awry in either, it is devastating. It's like an entire portion of my world has crumbled and it's time to assess and rebuild in whatever way possible.

I tend to call it a self-absorption loop and make others aware that i know i'm in broken record mode. :blushing:

 

[Sparrow]

I know I do! Sometimes its a good thing, like with finances...I set goals and forecasts, make excel spread sheets and plan everything, got out of debt and bought a condo so that was good! But man, when things get rough with work or in my relationships I sometimes obsess over it and get really bad anxiety.

 

[CocoB]

I Know exaclty what you are talking about!!! I am an ENFJ, and when something goes WRONG or is not working out the way i had hoped or wished... i tend to lose myself in that situation. It is all that i will think about for quite sometime..... i'll talk about it and trying to come up with a solution. Yes, it can become a bit obsessive. I think it's the problem being their with no solution that bothers me... It's not the lose of control that bother's ENFJ's.... It's the thought of the negativity in the situation and the disappoint that may come with it, from other's as well as ourselves. But that's just my opinion : )

 

[*poke*]

I most certainly get like this, especially with lack of closure.
I have a self-awareness focus and a people-focus. I build up both as best as i can and if something goes awry in either, it is devastating. It's like an entire portion of my world has crumbled and it's time to assess and rebuild in whatever way possible.

I tend to call it a self-absorption loop and make others aware that i know i'm in broken record mode. :blushing:

Me too, although I'm used to changing my "life plan" every week or so , if anything goes seriously awry with my self-concept or my personal relationships...even something like saying something stupid or talking too much, that makes me think I've been looked on negatively...will put me in a very bad mood. I feel like I feel guilty when I make simple mistakes (even inconsequential ones, if they involve others) to the point where it probably goes beyond the standard embarrassment. Like if I gave a wrong answer in a class, even though I get a lot of my self-esteem from being introspective and willing to acknowledge and improve upon mistakes, it takes me a while to get over them. I don't think I let it on, though.

 

[Kate7]

Totally relate to all of this. It's ridiculous! can learn a lot from enfp's and entp's in this regard - throw it off! Also true that doing something physical helps break the obsession. Actually, doing ANYTHING else helps - engage yourself ELSEWHERE"!

 

[Sparrow]

I Know exaclty what you are talking about!!! I am an ENFJ, and when something goes WRONG or is not working out the way i had hoped or wished... i tend to lose myself in that situation. It is all that i will think about for quite sometime..... i'll talk about it and trying to come up with a solution. Yes, it can become a bit obsessive. I think it's the problem being their with no solution that bothers me... It's not the lose of control that bother's ENFJ's.... It's the thought of the negativity in the situation and the disappoint that may come with it, from other's as well as ourselves. But that's just my opinion : )

Whenever I get lost in anxiety and cant sleep, I try to psych myself out by reading positive quotes. It usually helps .

 

[Lily flower]

I am an INFJ, but I over obsess all the time. It happens especially in regards to people and relationships. I have to think and think about something until it makes complete sense to me.

 

[Spastic_Blondie]

Indeed. I am SO obsessive...with everything. Especially in relationships, but also school, work, my passions, my family and friends. The problem is that I get very attached to things very easily, and it becomes extremely difficult for me to let go. I develop a goal in my mind, a perception of the way things are supposed to be, and I become so dedicated that if it doesn't work out, I go nuts.

Being an ENFJ is very difficult in that respect. I have a hard time taking risks and moving on. It's so hard for me to just make a new plan. To me it's as if I've lost everything.

Werd. My Ni-Ti axis can get OUT OF CONTROL. Things *must* make sense. I'll tear something absolutely limb from limb, dissect it down to atoms, make a million computations, replay "video" footage, just totally pull it to pieces in my head to extract every last detail in order to understand what happened. On a good day, this sort of thing serves me very well. On a bad day, it takes me hostage.

Amen to that. Sometimes, even when I think I have finally found an answer, something ELSE occurs to me the next day and then the process starts all over again. Sometimes I think the desperate need for an answer, a reason, is enough to drive me into insanity, haha.