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  1. #1
    Junior Member lilypad's Avatar
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    Default ENFJS are you obsessive?

    Hi guys

    I sometimes exihibit slightly obssessive behaviours, specifically, when I have a relationship problem, or a breakup or fall out with a close friend...it is literally all I can think about.

    You can see it in my face, friends tell me they know when somethings up even when I try to hide it - does anybody else have this focus on negative things when they occur?
    “Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”
    Stacey Charter

  2. #2
    Glycerine
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    Yeah with future goals... everything NEEDS to work out or else.

  3. #3
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Werd. My Ni-Ti axis can get OUT OF CONTROL. Things *must* make sense. I'll tear something absolutely limb from limb, dissect it down to atoms, make a million computations, replay "video" footage, just totally pull it to pieces in my head to extract every last detail in order to understand what happened. On a good day, this sort of thing serves me very well. On a bad day, it takes me hostage.

    I've found the best way to break the cycle is to engage yourself physically. I exercise like a mad thing. Yesterday, I mopped the kitchen floor with a vengeance. I have weak Se, but engaging it and letting it guide me in personal matters of relief can be significant.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    You think it is a type thing or a personality thing?
    I am definitely obsessive too.
    It's like my mind needs a piece of cheese to mull over and over again no matter what and it is healthier if I choose a healthy topic such as world news instead of personal flaws.

  5. #5
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    My ENFP twin can obsess the hind legs off a mule. I've gotten pretty good at seeing the signs and redirecting her, usually by playing together - like doing puzzles or games together, or reading to her while she knits.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #6
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I most certainly get like this, especially with lack of closure.
    I have a self-awareness focus and a people-focus. I build up both as best as i can and if something goes awry in either, it is devastating. It's like an entire portion of my world has crumbled and it's time to assess and rebuild in whatever way possible.

    I tend to call it a self-absorption loop and make others aware that i know i'm in broken record mode. :blushing:
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    I know I do! Sometimes its a good thing, like with finances...I set goals and forecasts, make excel spread sheets and plan everything, got out of debt and bought a condo so that was good! But man, when things get rough with work or in my relationships I sometimes obsess over it and get really bad anxiety.

  8. #8
    Member CocoB's Avatar
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    I Know exaclty what you are talking about!!! I am an ENFJ, and when something goes WRONG or is not working out the way i had hoped or wished... i tend to lose myself in that situation. It is all that i will think about for quite sometime..... i'll talk about it and trying to come up with a solution. Yes, it can become a bit obsessive. I think it's the problem being their with no solution that bothers me... It's not the lose of control that bother's ENFJ's.... It's the thought of the negativity in the situation and the disappoint that may come with it, from other's as well as ourselves. But that's just my opinion : )

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I most certainly get like this, especially with lack of closure.
    I have a self-awareness focus and a people-focus. I build up both as best as i can and if something goes awry in either, it is devastating. It's like an entire portion of my world has crumbled and it's time to assess and rebuild in whatever way possible.

    I tend to call it a self-absorption loop and make others aware that i know i'm in broken record mode. :blushing:
    Me too, although I'm used to changing my "life plan" every week or so , if anything goes seriously awry with my self-concept or my personal relationships...even something like saying something stupid or talking too much, that makes me think I've been looked on negatively...will put me in a very bad mood. I feel like I feel guilty when I make simple mistakes (even inconsequential ones, if they involve others) to the point where it probably goes beyond the standard embarrassment. Like if I gave a wrong answer in a class, even though I get a lot of my self-esteem from being introspective and willing to acknowledge and improve upon mistakes, it takes me a while to get over them. I don't think I let it on, though.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
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    Totally relate to all of this. It's ridiculous! can learn a lot from enfp's and entp's in this regard - throw it off! Also true that doing something physical helps break the obsession. Actually, doing ANYTHING else helps - engage yourself ELSEWHERE"!

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