[MBTI General] Finding meaning in your life.

[Snuggletron]

I don't think I understand the meaning in finding 'meaning' in my life, whatever that means.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I've experienced this, I turned 31 lately, I'm not really old enough for a proper mid life crisis and I tend to take a stoic and incredibly long view on things anyway but I am feeling that things have taken a turn for diminished opportunities vs. hightened expectations/hopes maybe.

Two things have been pretty important in this, I've always been really certain about my religion but I've had serious doubts this past while, in part to do with what I've been reading but also with just how pervasive and widespread disbelief or angry atheism is. I remain pretty much stoked because some of the disrespectful attitudes towards my beliefs make me furious but that's no remedy for my doubts.

A lot of my other beliefs have a terrible isolating effect, they arent popular or shared but I think they are important and I boldly maintain them, I'm not a beast of left or right properly understood, they're like leviathan and behemoth, but I identify most strongly with socialist beliefs which are simply dismissed as relics, the very linguistic filters which have been generated since before the seventies have reframed things so those beliefs and labels associated with them are just prejorative or terms of abuse.

I dont struggle for meaning, I sort of have that but sometimes its not fufiling or totally satisfying, although man doesnt live by meaning alone if you know what I mean.

Yeah, I'm too young too, LOL. I'm 32, However it's not that uncommon for people to have a major crisis in thier early thirties.
And I hear you on the other issues....it's kinda what precepitated all of my soul searching. I have to change, I have to figure out what I really want from life, and I have to admitt a few unpleasent facts about myself to my self.

 

[runvardh]

Good question, I'll let you know as soon as I'm successful. Crisis for me is so natural that I'm wondering whether I'll get there myself. I suppose wanting, taking responsibility for your safety, security and peace of mind to find those anchors that enrich you and help you grow. Trying to focus on positives and learning to believe in your potential and the meaning and purpose in others and yourself to expand rather than douse the fighting spirit that wants to live.

My life seems to be nothing but living from crisis to crisis, I'm actually to the point where I get bored if one isn't happening. Attempts at consciously seeking safety, security, and peace of mind tend to result in the loss of it. I've, ended up finding that just taking what comes ends up giving me more peace of mind than anything else - safety and security be damned for how much hell is needed to muster a thread of it outside the level inherent in my environment.

 

[CrystalViolet]

My life seems to be nothing but living from crisis to crisis, I'm actually to the point where I get bored if one isn't happening. Attempts at consciously seeking safety, security, and peace of mind tend to result in the loss of it. I've, ended up finding that just taking what comes ends up giving me more peace of mind than anything else - safety and security be damned for how much hell is needed to muster a thread of it outside the level inherent in my environment.

I'm kinda like that too, but don't you get tired? I know I do, but this is my point, I'm trying to get to the point, where internally, I'm not devasted or ripped apart every time my hopes and dreams fall apart.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Amazon.com: Man's Search For Meaning (9780671023379): Viktor E. Frankl: Books

Read it.

I finished reading it today (I will re-read it again soon, I have to mull it over).
So basically I find some thing I care about, some thing I have to do, accept what comes my way, roll with the punches and fate will do the rest?

 

[runvardh]

I'm kinda like that too, but don't you get tired? I know I do, but this is my point, I'm trying to get to the point, where internally, I'm not devasted or ripped apart every time my hopes and dreams fall apart.

Eh, it's not just hopes and dreams, that I could eventually work out. What do I really believe, that seems to require constant revamping that is making everything else unstable.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Eh, it's not just hopes and dreams, that I could eventually work out. What do I really believe, that seems to require constant revamping that is making everything else unstable.

That's a natural part of living, you get new information, new data so to speak so beliefs have to be adjusted. I have an inkling right now, of what it is to have your belief system almost wiped out. I'm kinda going through the motions ATM, while I'm doing renovations, but surely you maintain the bare bones still?

 

[CuriousFeeling]

If you can't find meaning in your life, then construct your own.

 

[Synapse]

My life seems to be nothing but living from crisis to crisis, I'm actually to the point where I get bored if one isn't happening. Attempts at consciously seeking safety, security, and peace of mind tend to result in the loss of it. I've, ended up finding that just taking what comes ends up giving me more peace of mind than anything else - safety and security be damned for how much hell is needed to muster a thread of it outside the level inherent in my environment.

yeah yeah set backs. i bet this is your subconscious programming that is now a learned response to dealing with life and you expect, end up or create crisis situations. you have to reprogram the need to want to stay in crisis or it'll be something that you'll find visits you throughout your life like a hydra tentacle, you think you have it quashed but pops up again in a different guise. now how to go about doing that is especially tricky.

sort of like my father, he had to fight for things all his life and had a harsh life. and the exact same thing happens, he continues to fight for his life and creates an incredibly harsh reality where he wants more than he needs, and in doing so lives in perpetual misery. when he had everything he needed ten years ago, he can't stop like this internal hunger to create situations where he has to keep himself busy because of his inner monologue between his inner and outer actions. almost like the same scenario repeats itself until he either learns from it or dies trying.

of course people go through their whole life times without seeing their patterns and think its normal. could be that. but then again life is a serious of complexities after complexities and we are each responsible for our own needs and wants and desires. certainly have to take into account the needs, wants and desires of others but not at the expense of being sacrificial lambs to slaughter. who knows, life is a twisted path sometimes.

 

[runvardh]

That's a natural part of living, you get new information, new data so to speak so beliefs have to be adjusted. I have an inkling right now, of what it is to have your belief system almost wiped out. I'm kinda going through the motions ATM, while I'm doing renovations, but surely you maintain the bare bones still?

Some, I liken mine more to a building though since the imagery is easier for me. I use the same pit dug for the foundation, sometimes I change the fill, sometimes the foundation needs a little remodelling.

yeah yeah set backs. i bet this is your subconscious programming that is now a learned response to dealing with life and you expect, end up or create crisis situations. you have to reprogram the need to want to stay in crisis or it'll be something that you'll find visits you throughout your life like a hydra tentacle, you think you have it quashed but pops up again in a different guise. now how to go about doing that is especially tricky.

No, I wish it was just me. I seem to have a habit of getting into situations that end up more temporary than they look at first. Even my improved perception of possible breakdown points in my reality from all this experience has yet to help me. I just find another situation that is only all too temporary.

sort of like my father, he had to fight for things all his life and had a harsh life. and the exact same thing happens, he continues to fight for his life and creates an incredibly harsh reality where he wants more than he needs, and in doing so lives in perpetual misery. when he had everything he needed ten years ago, he can't stop like this internal hunger to create situations where he has to keep himself busy because of his inner monologue between his inner and outer actions. almost like the same scenario repeats itself until he either learns from it or dies trying.

More than he needs, that's an interesting thing. What I need is food, shelter, and water as a living thing. As a human, some kind of companionship is nice. Is it too much to want to not live in my dying/dead hometown that no longer has anyone I can see decent companionship with or a job with which to get food and shelter with?

of course people go through their whole life times without seeing their patterns and think its normal. could be that. but then again life is a serious of complexities after complexities and we are each responsible for our own needs and wants and desires. certainly have to take into account the needs, wants and desires of others but not at the expense of being sacrificial lambs to slaughter. who knows, life is a twisted path sometimes.

I can see those possibilities, but again, as much as I see the patterns and try to learn from them, something else goes to shit anyway. Do I need to be omniscient?

 

[Synapse]

No, I wish it was just me. I seem to have a habit of getting into situations that end up more temporary than they look at first. Even my improved perception of possible breakdown points in my reality from all this experience has yet to help me. I just find another situation that is only all too temporary.

More than he needs, that's an interesting thing. What I need is food, shelter, and water as a living thing. As a human, some kind of companionship is nice. Is it too much to want to not live in my dying/dead hometown that no longer has anyone I can see decent companionship with or a job with which to get food and shelter with?

I can see those possibilities, but again, as much as I see the patterns and try to learn from them, something else goes to shit anyway. Do I need to be omniscient?

Your situation has different complexity. survival has different states for different situations. I can think like that too if I let myself and have many times when I felt trapped but then we all have limiting beliefs too. Yes something else goes to shit, seeing the patterns and changing those patterns take great energy, hundred times more than where we are.

The example was confusing, having more or less doesn't equate to happiness, without understand life or people or love etc. so he has an empty life, abuses and attacks everyone around him and hates the world. even though he has everything he needs he lacks the value to appreciate it. and then nobody wants to be around him. I was taking an extreme that is opposite to your situation in many ways.

For there are different stages between survival and crisis. survival, living or fighting in survival, then still living or fighting once past the survival or acceptance. crisis, living or fighting in crisis, then still living or fighting past the crisis. of course this goes back to maslows hierarchy of needs and these sentiments are an oversimplification of how we deal with life.

 

[runvardh]

Your situation has different complexity. survival has different states for different situations. I can think like that too if I let myself and have many times when I felt trapped but then we all have limiting beliefs too. Yes something else goes to shit, seeing the patterns and changing those patterns take great energy, hundred times more than where we are.

The example was confusing, having more or less doesn't equate to happiness, without understand life or people or love etc. so he has an empty life, abuses and attacks everyone around him and hates the world. even though he has everything he needs he lacks the value to appreciate it. and then nobody wants to be around him. I was taking an extreme that is opposite to your situation in many ways.

For there are different stages between survival and crisis. survival, living or fighting in survival, then still living or fighting once past the survival or acceptance. crisis, living or fighting in crisis, then still living or fighting past the crisis. of course this goes back to maslows hierarchy of needs and these sentiments are an oversimplification of how we deal with life.

Anyway, I've found it easier to take my hand off the wheel rather than deal with the constant burns I get from trying to control it. More often than not, I end up in a better situation when I do this while also not having to feel so let down when it falls apart. Then, when it does fall apart, do a few tweaks, get into another lane, hands off from there. Or at least this is the theory I'm working with now to see if it can set up better for me longer term.

 

[Synapse]

Anyway, I've found it easier to take my hand off the wheel rather than deal with the constant burns I get from trying to control it. More often than not, I end up in a better situation when I do this while also not having to feel so let down when it falls apart. Then, when it does fall apart, do a few tweaks, get into another lane, hands off from there. Or at least this is the theory I'm working with now to see if it can set up better for me longer term.

Its the human condition and how we find meaning in good and bad times depends on our ability to deal with the situations that exist.

 

[Synapse]

I've noticed that when in negatives, negatives persist and are thought of more often. When in positives, positives persist and are thought of more often. The balance between them is essential. Been trying to change in that respect and it can be hard when the human condition can present destructive people in our lives too. You learn from those behaviours most influential and subconsciously adopt those issues either in the same way or the opposite way, running away from the image is as bad as staying with the image. Breaking and reforming the image is the way to go, though very few acknowledge there is something to restructure for the right attitude to manifest.

 

[niki]

Anyway, I've found it easier to take my hand off the wheel rather than deal with the constant burns I get from trying to control it. More often than not, I end up in a better situation when I do this while also not having to feel so let down when it falls apart. Then, when it does fall apart, do a few tweaks, get into another lane, hands off from there. Or at least this is the theory I'm working with now to see if it can set up better for me longer term.

this is also my current take on life, and like you, surprisingly, I've found that I can see & deal with life much more better, and also learn the value of "living Life" in its entirerity.
so instead of "rejecting" or "repelling" it, we learn to "accept", and then learn, and move forward...keep creating & living.

in simpler words, really: who are we to be able to let Life (or Universe) to work 100% according to us?
we're just simple small microcosms creature in this vast world, let alone this vast universe!
But, in the words of famous film director Stanley Kubrick himself, "it is when we grasp this fact of life, that we can come to appreciate meaning of Life even more, and even, to provide our own light to the world and Universe"

another great sayings:
"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha
and I would add, it's up to each of us to really "see" & appreciate the beauty in things such as human's Art creations, in music, in Design, in nature, in the fresh breath of morning air, morning sunset, the street which are cleaned everytime(day) by the road-sweepers that we usually only take for granted, etc. try to notice in these little things.....and life suddenly would become beautiful, at OUR own choice.

or, if you are or have the heart of a creator, then by all means, create beauty. don't wait. just simply Be, and Connect.
this is what i've been doing with my music, and I suddenly feel "Being" and "connected" to the world.
trust/believe that there would always be other energy (ie: another person, in another country, or Net, etc) that would patiently wait, and positively respond to your creations

 

[CrystalViolet]

Acceptance is some thing I have trouble with. I can't accept, if there's any sign I could change it some how. It's probably the root of all my troubles. I cling on too long to that damn wheel, thinking I can change it's direction. Often I fail to acknowledge there are other forces than my sheer will power at play. I'm stubborn to a fault, LOL, or rather I credit my self with more influence than I've actually got.
It is true though, if you worry about things enough, they come to pass.

 

[runvardh]

this is also my current take on life, and like you, surprisingly, I've found that I can see & deal with life much more better, and also learn the value of "living Life" in its entirerity.
so instead of "rejecting" or "repelling" it, we learn to "accept", and then learn, and move forward...keep creating & living.

in simpler words, really: who are we to be able to let Life (or Universe) to work 100% according to us?
we're just simple small microcosms creature in this vast world, let alone this vast universe!
But, in the words of famous film director Stanley Kubrick himself, "it is when we grasp this fact of life, that we can come to appreciate meaning of Life even more, and even, to provide our own light to the world and Universe"

another great sayings:
"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha
and I would add, it's up to each of us to really "see" & appreciate the beauty in things such as human's Art creations, in music, in Design, in nature, in the fresh breath of morning air, morning sunset, the street which are cleaned everytime(day) by the road-sweepers that we usually only take for granted, etc. try to notice in these little things.....and life suddenly would become beautiful, at OUR own choice.

or, if you are or have the heart of a creator, then by all means, create beauty. don't wait. just simply Be, and Connect.
this is what i've been doing with my music, and I suddenly feel "Being" and "connected" to the world.
trust/believe that there would always be other energy (ie: another person, in another country, or Net, etc) that would patiently wait, and positively respond to your creations

Acceptance is some thing I have trouble with. I can't accept, if there's any sign I could change it some how. It's probably the root of all my troubles. I cling on too long to that damn wheel, thinking I can change it's direction. Often I fail to acknowledge there are other forces than my sheer will power at play. I'm stubborn to a fault, LOL, or rather I credit my self with more influence than I've actually got.
It is true though, if you worry about things enough, they come to pass.

It's what I've been noticing these past ten years though I definitely could let up on myself more in following it. Maybe when I do this long enough the knots will go away and the art will come back.

 

[CrystalViolet]

It's what I've been noticing these past ten years though I definitely could let up on myself more in following it. Maybe when I do this long enough the knots will go away and the art will come back.

Awww, The urge to create never goes away, although, it can lie dormant. Maybe the time is not quite right for you...and maybe I have to accept that isn't why I was placed on this earth. Although it's hard to fathom why I was given these gifts, if I can't use them.
I also think our perfectionist streak can be cruel, if our vision of the world isn't quite forfilled. It can be a bit like wondering in the dark. We stumble easily.

 

[Unkindloving]

I haven't fully read through the posts, but have there been any drastic changes or dramatic situations for you? Have things been okay, but become routine?
There are various reasons to end up at that point. You need to figure out what the reasoning behind it is and then begin to revamp yourself from that point. It can take a bit of time and you may take 2 steps forward to take 1 back, but progress it progress.

I've crammed more emotional people-experience into the past 10 years of my life than a lot of people so i feel well-lived in that respect. I've had to revamp my train of thoughts a number of times. It can just take a lot of rationalization, awareness of what makes you happy/will make you happy, and psyching yourself out for that while building your form of a support group.
My worst time was over the past 5 months. I saw no purpose in life, although understanding it as subjective. I couldn't find any of the motivation or joy. I started to psych myself out, assess what i wanted/needed, and built better friendships (because that's like the ENFJ mantra) and have become more stable for it.
Back to my almost-tree-hugging self

 

[Eruca]

Awww, The urge to create never goes away, although, it can lie dormant. Maybe the time is not quite right for you...and maybe I have to accept that isn't why I was placed on this earth. Although it's hard to fathom why I was given these gifts, if I can't use them.
I also think our perfectionist streak can be cruel, if our vision of the world isn't quite forfilled. It can be a bit like wondering in the dark. We stumble easily.

Perfectionism in itself isnt a negative; only how you react to not being able to fulfill your perfectionist needs is. If you punish yourself emotionally for not achieving them you are being counter-productive. We need to have compassion for our own faults just as we have compassion for others. And we need to know that just because we failed to achieve our goals/dreams today that doent mean we cant achieve them tommorow.

Failure to fulfill perfectionist tendencies should cause an external conflict, not an internal one. However, this can only be the case when our goals are realistic.