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  1. #31
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    No, I wish it was just me. I seem to have a habit of getting into situations that end up more temporary than they look at first. Even my improved perception of possible breakdown points in my reality from all this experience has yet to help me. I just find another situation that is only all too temporary.

    More than he needs, that's an interesting thing. What I need is food, shelter, and water as a living thing. As a human, some kind of companionship is nice. Is it too much to want to not live in my dying/dead hometown that no longer has anyone I can see decent companionship with or a job with which to get food and shelter with?

    I can see those possibilities, but again, as much as I see the patterns and try to learn from them, something else goes to shit anyway. Do I need to be omniscient?
    Your situation has different complexity. survival has different states for different situations. I can think like that too if I let myself and have many times when I felt trapped but then we all have limiting beliefs too. Yes something else goes to shit, seeing the patterns and changing those patterns take great energy, hundred times more than where we are.

    The example was confusing, having more or less doesn't equate to happiness, without understand life or people or love etc. so he has an empty life, abuses and attacks everyone around him and hates the world. even though he has everything he needs he lacks the value to appreciate it. and then nobody wants to be around him. I was taking an extreme that is opposite to your situation in many ways.

    For there are different stages between survival and crisis. survival, living or fighting in survival, then still living or fighting once past the survival or acceptance. crisis, living or fighting in crisis, then still living or fighting past the crisis. of course this goes back to maslows hierarchy of needs and these sentiments are an oversimplification of how we deal with life.

  2. #32
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    Your situation has different complexity. survival has different states for different situations. I can think like that too if I let myself and have many times when I felt trapped but then we all have limiting beliefs too. Yes something else goes to shit, seeing the patterns and changing those patterns take great energy, hundred times more than where we are.

    The example was confusing, having more or less doesn't equate to happiness, without understand life or people or love etc. so he has an empty life, abuses and attacks everyone around him and hates the world. even though he has everything he needs he lacks the value to appreciate it. and then nobody wants to be around him. I was taking an extreme that is opposite to your situation in many ways.

    For there are different stages between survival and crisis. survival, living or fighting in survival, then still living or fighting once past the survival or acceptance. crisis, living or fighting in crisis, then still living or fighting past the crisis. of course this goes back to maslows hierarchy of needs and these sentiments are an oversimplification of how we deal with life.
    Anyway, I've found it easier to take my hand off the wheel rather than deal with the constant burns I get from trying to control it. More often than not, I end up in a better situation when I do this while also not having to feel so let down when it falls apart. Then, when it does fall apart, do a few tweaks, get into another lane, hands off from there. Or at least this is the theory I'm working with now to see if it can set up better for me longer term.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  3. #33
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Anyway, I've found it easier to take my hand off the wheel rather than deal with the constant burns I get from trying to control it. More often than not, I end up in a better situation when I do this while also not having to feel so let down when it falls apart. Then, when it does fall apart, do a few tweaks, get into another lane, hands off from there. Or at least this is the theory I'm working with now to see if it can set up better for me longer term.
    Its the human condition and how we find meaning in good and bad times depends on our ability to deal with the situations that exist.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    I've noticed that when in negatives, negatives persist and are thought of more often. When in positives, positives persist and are thought of more often. The balance between them is essential. Been trying to change in that respect and it can be hard when the human condition can present destructive people in our lives too. You learn from those behaviours most influential and subconsciously adopt those issues either in the same way or the opposite way, running away from the image is as bad as staying with the image. Breaking and reforming the image is the way to go, though very few acknowledge there is something to restructure for the right attitude to manifest.

  5. #35
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Anyway, I've found it easier to take my hand off the wheel rather than deal with the constant burns I get from trying to control it. More often than not, I end up in a better situation when I do this while also not having to feel so let down when it falls apart. Then, when it does fall apart, do a few tweaks, get into another lane, hands off from there. Or at least this is the theory I'm working with now to see if it can set up better for me longer term.
    this is also my current take on life, and like you, surprisingly, I've found that I can see & deal with life much more better, and also learn the value of "living Life" in its entirerity.
    so instead of "rejecting" or "repelling" it, we learn to "accept", and then learn, and move forward...keep creating & living.

    in simpler words, really: who are we to be able to let Life (or Universe) to work 100% according to us?
    we're just simple small microcosms creature in this vast world, let alone this vast universe!
    But, in the words of famous film director Stanley Kubrick himself, "it is when we grasp this fact of life, that we can come to appreciate meaning of Life even more, and even, to provide our own light to the world and Universe"

    another great sayings:
    "If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha
    and I would add, it's up to each of us to really "see" & appreciate the beauty in things such as human's Art creations, in music, in Design, in nature, in the fresh breath of morning air, morning sunset, the street which are cleaned everytime(day) by the road-sweepers that we usually only take for granted, etc. try to notice in these little things.....and life suddenly would become beautiful, at OUR own choice.

    or, if you are or have the heart of a creator, then by all means, create beauty. don't wait. just simply Be, and Connect.
    this is what i've been doing with my music, and I suddenly feel "Being" and "connected" to the world.
    trust/believe that there would always be other energy (ie: another person, in another country, or Net, etc) that would patiently wait, and positively respond to your creations

  6. #36
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Acceptance is some thing I have trouble with. I can't accept, if there's any sign I could change it some how. It's probably the root of all my troubles. I cling on too long to that damn wheel, thinking I can change it's direction. Often I fail to acknowledge there are other forces than my sheer will power at play. I'm stubborn to a fault, LOL, or rather I credit my self with more influence than I've actually got.
    It is true though, if you worry about things enough, they come to pass.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #37
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niki View Post
    this is also my current take on life, and like you, surprisingly, I've found that I can see & deal with life much more better, and also learn the value of "living Life" in its entirerity.
    so instead of "rejecting" or "repelling" it, we learn to "accept", and then learn, and move forward...keep creating & living.

    in simpler words, really: who are we to be able to let Life (or Universe) to work 100% according to us?
    we're just simple small microcosms creature in this vast world, let alone this vast universe!
    But, in the words of famous film director Stanley Kubrick himself, "it is when we grasp this fact of life, that we can come to appreciate meaning of Life even more, and even, to provide our own light to the world and Universe"

    another great sayings:
    "If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha
    and I would add, it's up to each of us to really "see" & appreciate the beauty in things such as human's Art creations, in music, in Design, in nature, in the fresh breath of morning air, morning sunset, the street which are cleaned everytime(day) by the road-sweepers that we usually only take for granted, etc. try to notice in these little things.....and life suddenly would become beautiful, at OUR own choice.

    or, if you are or have the heart of a creator, then by all means, create beauty. don't wait. just simply Be, and Connect.
    this is what i've been doing with my music, and I suddenly feel "Being" and "connected" to the world.
    trust/believe that there would always be other energy (ie: another person, in another country, or Net, etc) that would patiently wait, and positively respond to your creations
    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Acceptance is some thing I have trouble with. I can't accept, if there's any sign I could change it some how. It's probably the root of all my troubles. I cling on too long to that damn wheel, thinking I can change it's direction. Often I fail to acknowledge there are other forces than my sheer will power at play. I'm stubborn to a fault, LOL, or rather I credit my self with more influence than I've actually got.
    It is true though, if you worry about things enough, they come to pass.
    It's what I've been noticing these past ten years though I definitely could let up on myself more in following it. Maybe when I do this long enough the knots will go away and the art will come back.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  8. #38
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    It's what I've been noticing these past ten years though I definitely could let up on myself more in following it. Maybe when I do this long enough the knots will go away and the art will come back.
    Awww, The urge to create never goes away, although, it can lie dormant. Maybe the time is not quite right for you...and maybe I have to accept that isn't why I was placed on this earth. Although it's hard to fathom why I was given these gifts, if I can't use them.
    I also think our perfectionist streak can be cruel, if our vision of the world isn't quite forfilled. It can be a bit like wondering in the dark. We stumble easily.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I haven't fully read through the posts, but have there been any drastic changes or dramatic situations for you? Have things been okay, but become routine?
    There are various reasons to end up at that point. You need to figure out what the reasoning behind it is and then begin to revamp yourself from that point. It can take a bit of time and you may take 2 steps forward to take 1 back, but progress it progress.

    I've crammed more emotional people-experience into the past 10 years of my life than a lot of people so i feel well-lived in that respect. I've had to revamp my train of thoughts a number of times. It can just take a lot of rationalization, awareness of what makes you happy/will make you happy, and psyching yourself out for that while building your form of a support group.
    My worst time was over the past 5 months. I saw no purpose in life, although understanding it as subjective. I couldn't find any of the motivation or joy. I started to psych myself out, assess what i wanted/needed, and built better friendships (because that's like the ENFJ mantra) and have become more stable for it.
    Back to my almost-tree-hugging self
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  10. #40
    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    Awww, The urge to create never goes away, although, it can lie dormant. Maybe the time is not quite right for you...and maybe I have to accept that isn't why I was placed on this earth. Although it's hard to fathom why I was given these gifts, if I can't use them.
    I also think our perfectionist streak can be cruel, if our vision of the world isn't quite forfilled. It can be a bit like wondering in the dark. We stumble easily.
    Perfectionism in itself isnt a negative; only how you react to not being able to fulfill your perfectionist needs is. If you punish yourself emotionally for not achieving them you are being counter-productive. We need to have compassion for our own faults just as we have compassion for others. And we need to know that just because we failed to achieve our goals/dreams today that doent mean we cant achieve them tommorow.

    Failure to fulfill perfectionist tendencies should cause an external conflict, not an internal one. However, this can only be the case when our goals are realistic.
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

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