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  1. #21
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    I don't think I understand the meaning in finding 'meaning' in my life, whatever that means.

  2. #22
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I've experienced this, I turned 31 lately, I'm not really old enough for a proper mid life crisis and I tend to take a stoic and incredibly long view on things anyway but I am feeling that things have taken a turn for diminished opportunities vs. hightened expectations/hopes maybe.

    Two things have been pretty important in this, I've always been really certain about my religion but I've had serious doubts this past while, in part to do with what I've been reading but also with just how pervasive and widespread disbelief or angry atheism is. I remain pretty much stoked because some of the disrespectful attitudes towards my beliefs make me furious but that's no remedy for my doubts.

    A lot of my other beliefs have a terrible isolating effect, they arent popular or shared but I think they are important and I boldly maintain them, I'm not a beast of left or right properly understood, they're like leviathan and behemoth, but I identify most strongly with socialist beliefs which are simply dismissed as relics, the very linguistic filters which have been generated since before the seventies have reframed things so those beliefs and labels associated with them are just prejorative or terms of abuse.

    I dont struggle for meaning, I sort of have that but sometimes its not fufiling or totally satisfying, although man doesnt live by meaning alone if you know what I mean.
    Yeah, I'm too young too, LOL. I'm 32, However it's not that uncommon for people to have a major crisis in thier early thirties.
    And I hear you on the other issues....it's kinda what precepitated all of my soul searching. I have to change, I have to figure out what I really want from life, and I have to admitt a few unpleasent facts about myself to my self.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #23
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    Good question, I'll let you know as soon as I'm successful. Crisis for me is so natural that I'm wondering whether I'll get there myself. I suppose wanting, taking responsibility for your safety, security and peace of mind to find those anchors that enrich you and help you grow. Trying to focus on positives and learning to believe in your potential and the meaning and purpose in others and yourself to expand rather than douse the fighting spirit that wants to live.
    My life seems to be nothing but living from crisis to crisis, I'm actually to the point where I get bored if one isn't happening. Attempts at consciously seeking safety, security, and peace of mind tend to result in the loss of it. I've, ended up finding that just taking what comes ends up giving me more peace of mind than anything else - safety and security be damned for how much hell is needed to muster a thread of it outside the level inherent in my environment.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #24
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    My life seems to be nothing but living from crisis to crisis, I'm actually to the point where I get bored if one isn't happening. Attempts at consciously seeking safety, security, and peace of mind tend to result in the loss of it. I've, ended up finding that just taking what comes ends up giving me more peace of mind than anything else - safety and security be damned for how much hell is needed to muster a thread of it outside the level inherent in my environment.
    I'm kinda like that too, but don't you get tired? I know I do, but this is my point, I'm trying to get to the point, where internally, I'm not devasted or ripped apart every time my hopes and dreams fall apart.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #25
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I finished reading it today (I will re-read it again soon, I have to mull it over).
    So basically I find some thing I care about, some thing I have to do, accept what comes my way, roll with the punches and fate will do the rest?
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #26
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    I'm kinda like that too, but don't you get tired? I know I do, but this is my point, I'm trying to get to the point, where internally, I'm not devasted or ripped apart every time my hopes and dreams fall apart.
    Eh, it's not just hopes and dreams, that I could eventually work out. What do I really believe, that seems to require constant revamping that is making everything else unstable.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Eh, it's not just hopes and dreams, that I could eventually work out. What do I really believe, that seems to require constant revamping that is making everything else unstable.
    That's a natural part of living, you get new information, new data so to speak so beliefs have to be adjusted. I have an inkling right now, of what it is to have your belief system almost wiped out. I'm kinda going through the motions ATM, while I'm doing renovations, but surely you maintain the bare bones still?
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #28
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    If you can't find meaning in your life, then construct your own.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Johari/Nohari

    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




  9. #29
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    My life seems to be nothing but living from crisis to crisis, I'm actually to the point where I get bored if one isn't happening. Attempts at consciously seeking safety, security, and peace of mind tend to result in the loss of it. I've, ended up finding that just taking what comes ends up giving me more peace of mind than anything else - safety and security be damned for how much hell is needed to muster a thread of it outside the level inherent in my environment.
    yeah yeah set backs. i bet this is your subconscious programming that is now a learned response to dealing with life and you expect, end up or create crisis situations. you have to reprogram the need to want to stay in crisis or it'll be something that you'll find visits you throughout your life like a hydra tentacle, you think you have it quashed but pops up again in a different guise. now how to go about doing that is especially tricky.

    sort of like my father, he had to fight for things all his life and had a harsh life. and the exact same thing happens, he continues to fight for his life and creates an incredibly harsh reality where he wants more than he needs, and in doing so lives in perpetual misery. when he had everything he needed ten years ago, he can't stop like this internal hunger to create situations where he has to keep himself busy because of his inner monologue between his inner and outer actions. almost like the same scenario repeats itself until he either learns from it or dies trying.

    of course people go through their whole life times without seeing their patterns and think its normal. could be that. but then again life is a serious of complexities after complexities and we are each responsible for our own needs and wants and desires. certainly have to take into account the needs, wants and desires of others but not at the expense of being sacrificial lambs to slaughter. who knows, life is a twisted path sometimes.

  10. #30
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    That's a natural part of living, you get new information, new data so to speak so beliefs have to be adjusted. I have an inkling right now, of what it is to have your belief system almost wiped out. I'm kinda going through the motions ATM, while I'm doing renovations, but surely you maintain the bare bones still?
    Some, I liken mine more to a building though since the imagery is easier for me. I use the same pit dug for the foundation, sometimes I change the fill, sometimes the foundation needs a little remodelling.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    yeah yeah set backs. i bet this is your subconscious programming that is now a learned response to dealing with life and you expect, end up or create crisis situations. you have to reprogram the need to want to stay in crisis or it'll be something that you'll find visits you throughout your life like a hydra tentacle, you think you have it quashed but pops up again in a different guise. now how to go about doing that is especially tricky.
    No, I wish it was just me. I seem to have a habit of getting into situations that end up more temporary than they look at first. Even my improved perception of possible breakdown points in my reality from all this experience has yet to help me. I just find another situation that is only all too temporary.

    sort of like my father, he had to fight for things all his life and had a harsh life. and the exact same thing happens, he continues to fight for his life and creates an incredibly harsh reality where he wants more than he needs, and in doing so lives in perpetual misery. when he had everything he needed ten years ago, he can't stop like this internal hunger to create situations where he has to keep himself busy because of his inner monologue between his inner and outer actions. almost like the same scenario repeats itself until he either learns from it or dies trying.
    More than he needs, that's an interesting thing. What I need is food, shelter, and water as a living thing. As a human, some kind of companionship is nice. Is it too much to want to not live in my dying/dead hometown that no longer has anyone I can see decent companionship with or a job with which to get food and shelter with?

    of course people go through their whole life times without seeing their patterns and think its normal. could be that. but then again life is a serious of complexities after complexities and we are each responsible for our own needs and wants and desires. certainly have to take into account the needs, wants and desires of others but not at the expense of being sacrificial lambs to slaughter. who knows, life is a twisted path sometimes.
    I can see those possibilities, but again, as much as I see the patterns and try to learn from them, something else goes to shit anyway. Do I need to be omniscient?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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