[MBTI General] Why N can suck, who else is neurotic?

[Billy]

Yeah well, what happens when you can see anything as potential evidence? Even if its not, and im sure its not... but that annoying what if wont shut the hell up lol.

 

[yvonne]

lol, yeah... i've tried to train myself for the real trouble... it will come, i'm sure.

 

[Intricate Mystic]

The nature of something like Ni and I assume Ne are interesting tools to use to decipher what life is and whats going on... but at the same time in conjunction with say Fe it can be kind of crappy.

The point of this thread is to ask other NFs and maybe NTs but mostly NFs how they deal with the neurotic nature of our minds.

You know what I mean.

She didnt just fall asleep and not call... something happened, shes seeing someone, her facebook status says "had a great night" with who? why? Why didnt I get a call? How come she knows so many guys? What are they after? Can I fight them all off? Do I want to compete? Can I compete? Lets see if she texted me, nope.... how about now? nope... how about now? nope...

over and over and over in my head all night, all day, until I am sleeping or drunk or preoccupied.

How the hell do we calm this shit down so we can function normally? Its not just with a girl, its with everything.

What the realtor is late in calling? They must be giving the house to someone else, I wonder if that someone else would be as good a tenant? I wonder if they realize how respectful and easy to work with I can be, is this new yet to be figured person who is stealing away all possibilities of happiness just some scumbag? Its like... how did I get from a late call to some random person I invented in my own mind stealing away things from me?

When does this shit quiet down? Its getting super tough to deal with. I try to explain the most logical reasons to myself, no shes just running behind, she just fell asleep, but at the same time I have those reasons followed by about 100000000000000000000 possibilities that could also explain whats going on all at the same time. Like seeing all the answers on a big cheat sheet.

And because I am an F, this is all directly attached to my feelings, self esteem, etc etc etc... its getting quite annoying. I need to come up with some ways to think around this.

Try adding being somewhat psychic and religious to such thoughts....i.e. trying to "sense" what's going on with the other person plus trying to discern divine will in your life at the same time and you will have a peek into the tumult of my brain. ugh. I really need to shut off that psychic stuff... it drives me crazy.

 

[Arclight]

The nature of something like Ni and I assume Ne are interesting tools to use to decipher what life is and whats going on... but at the same time in conjunction with say Fe it can be kind of crappy.

The point of this thread is to ask other NFs and maybe NTs but mostly NFs how they deal with the neurotic nature of our minds.

You know what I mean.

She didnt just fall asleep and not call... something happened, shes seeing someone, her facebook status says "had a great night" with who? why? Why didnt I get a call? How come she knows so many guys? What are they after? Can I fight them all off? Do I want to compete? Can I compete? Lets see if she texted me, nope.... how about now? nope... how about now? nope...

over and over and over in my head all night, all day, until I am sleeping or drunk or preoccupied.

How the hell do we calm this shit down so we can function normally? Its not just with a girl, its with everything.

What the realtor is late in calling? They must be giving the house to someone else, I wonder if that someone else would be as good a tenant? I wonder if they realize how respectful and easy to work with I can be, is this new yet to be figured person who is stealing away all possibilities of happiness just some scumbag? Its like... how did I get from a late call to some random person I invented in my own mind stealing away things from me?

When does this shit quiet down? Its getting super tough to deal with. I try to explain the most logical reasons to myself, no shes just running behind, she just fell asleep, but at the same time I have those reasons followed by about 100000000000000000000 possibilities that could also explain whats going on all at the same time. Like seeing all the answers on a big cheat sheet.

And because I am an F, this is all directly attached to my feelings, self esteem, etc etc etc... its getting quite annoying. I need to come up with some ways to think around this.

This OP and a few of the subsequent posts there after , suggest some very Type 6ish behavior.
Type 6 is the natural intuitive. It really makes me wonder if INFJs are more type 6 then they would be willing to admit.
But here is the thing. You Billy, seem like a pretty solid guy.. we haven't really interacted I don't think, but I do notice you around.
SO what I am getting at.. what good is Ni if it breeds paranoia where there is none? If Ni without a cause, turns someone into a counter-phobic type 6 kind of person where they are seeing phantoms when none truly exist.
Then the only way around it is to choose to ignore it and and engage your senses and objectivity.
When I do this, my N protests , as I have heard others say the same thing, But if N defies all logic and creates problems where none exist then really it is a function out of control or one that has not been mastered.
So indeed, how does one get around this..

So far I have yet to see a happy answer..

I guess this is just my long winded way of saying I feel what you are saying.
and can't offer anything except to trust your senses and logic if your intition is out of whack.. You are not obligated to be INFJ at all times.. you can always make a choice to engage other functions and with practice you can become quite good at it.

 

[sculpting]

Antimony and Lady X... I gave you guys a poll in the graveyard so that you could disagree with me!

and Esoteric Wench- see, isn't Se FUN!

Ladies-I must concur with whatever. I think she really is an ESTP with an awesome Ne retrieval capability. But yeah tert Fe, both the N and S variety, can get kinda freaky.

 

[Billy]

Very illuminating link Arc, just finished reading it much of that makes sense to me, the levels shown were eerie in familiarity. Especially the unhealthy ones, that was me last year! I think I am in average right now, hoping to get to healthy.

 

[sculpting]

Its still not so simple... I wasnt saying Fi is unshakable, but with Fi you at least have somewhere to stand your own personal ground. you know how things make you feel, read up on how Fe works, in conjunction with Ni its kind of hard NOT to be sloppy with my Ni.

And also, this negative thought process (which usually isnt always negative its quite neutral) just shows me the answers, emotionally how I deal with them has nothing to do with how sharp Ni is... and everything to do with how my emotions work.

I just need to shield my emotions a bit more from my Ni since its driving me crazy! I cant be alone with my thoughts its driving me insane.

I am totally making this up since i am dont have any of your functions...but the INTJs seem to grounded in Se reality-isnt there something similar that INFJs use for reference? Some sort of "what are other people around me feeling?" metric that you can use to calibrate yourself against? Also-I dont understand at all what Ti does in an INFJ-but Te is what I use to rationalize my own Ne-ness. I dunno...where are all the INFJs?????

 

[Billy]

I am totally making this up since i am dont have any of your functions...but the INTJs seem to grounded in Se reality-isnt there something similar that INFJs use for reference? Some sort of "what are other people around me feeling?" metric that you can use to calibrate yourself against? Also-I dont understand at all what Ti does in an INFJ-but Te is what I use to rationalize my own Ne-ness. I dunno...where are all the INFJs?????

I seek input from multiple sources of people on my predicaments, many of them I do not though, because I don't always involve people in my affairs. Especially my family. And theyre the only ones I trust typically.

Ti for me turns my social life into a system I can and must manipulate I think, in conjunction with ni and fe its kind of weird actually.

 

[Epiphany]

My intuition has proven to be quite accurate more often than not. If I perceive a lot of cues that a woman is looking elsewhere or is not committed, I do the same thing. I don't allow myself to develop feelings as easily as I used to and I'm not going to torment myself over one woman when there are plenty to go around.

 

[uumlau]

Its still not so simple...

It is that simple.

It is difficult, not complex.

I wasnt saying Fi is unshakable, but with Fi you at least have somewhere to stand your own personal ground. you know how things make you feel, read up on how Fe works, in conjunction with Ni its kind of hard NOT to be sloppy with my Ni.

And also, this negative thought process (which usually isnt always negative its quite neutral) just shows me the answers, emotionally how I deal with them has nothing to do with how sharp Ni is... and everything to do with how my emotions work.

I just need to shield my emotions a bit more from my Ni since its driving me crazy! I cant be alone with my thoughts its driving me insane.

Neurosis isn't MBTI-driven. Check out SLOAN/Global 5: it's an MBTI analog with four attributes that map more or less to MBTI, and a fifth attribute of neuroticism. One's calmness or lack thereof is not a part of MBTI, but more a part of life experiences and ability to handle the world around you.

The way to teach yourself new habits is to practice them. The primary one to practice is patience. Ni can give a very strong J vibe for Fe or Te. We want things resolved, now. As long as it's still hanging, we want it resolved.

What one ends up learning to do is to define that which needs to be resolved and can be resolved. There is a desire to have a level of control where everything you wish to be resolved is resolved. What happens, however, is that you eventually confront reality, and you don't have the power/control to resolve things. If you accept that fact, then the desire to control it starts to ebb. If you don't accept that fact, you will continue to freak out.

The way I taught myself to accept that fact is to treat things like my boulder example. I resolve, within myself, that when a boulder is within reach, I will take action to evade it. Then I simply stay aware. Usually, no boulders arrive. Sometimes one or two come my way. But I don't take action until it's time. My resolution is to decide what I will do should a predicted circumstance occur.

Or think of it like hitting a pitch in baseball. Part of your control is to wait until the ball is over the plate, within reach of the bat. If you swing too early, you miss. If you swing too late, you miss. If you swing when it's outside your strike zone, you risk a bad hit.

Ni's superpower is that it can make insanely accurate predictions. That's the part of Ni you want to develop. If you entertain every random thought (by entertain, I mean chew on it like old gum that has long ago lost its flavor), you are training your intuition to suck and make false predictions all the time. The answer is to use Fe (yes Fe!) to evaluate your intuition and make sure that it is saying something valid.

I should in full disclosure say that it is very easy for me to overthink things. It's just how Ni is wired. However, it overthinks the MOST when something is new and unfamiliar. It is by becoming familiar that the overthinking stops ... it eventually becomes "underthinking" ... you just "know." So, right now, all your endless ruminations of what might happen is simply unfamiliarity with new things. Ni is trying but failing to make predictions. Train yourself to make good Ni predictions and your thoughts will become much more calm.

 

[runvardh]

Thankfully I'm not N dom, but what I do have is bad enough. Right now I take the most plosible posibilities, rated via Te, and figure out which ones I can prepare for, which ones I can prevent, and which ones I can't to shit about. The first I prepare for, the second I try to prevent, and the third I stitch together my parachute and jump.

 

[Phoenix_400]

Well if everything wasn't so damn interconnected, it wouldn't be so much of a problem

Seriously, its hard to control, but eventually you learn to parse through things and differentiate between the realistic and the outlandish possibilities. Then you throw out the outlandish, Put the 'possible but unlikely' on the backburn until you receive more info, and focus on the 'most realistic possibilities'. Takes a concentrated effort sometimes though.