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[ENFP] ENFPS -- Are you difficult??

Lady Lazarus

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 30, 2014
Messages
2,148
MBTI Type
INFJ
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9w8
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sx/sp
I've dated an ENFP and he wasn't the difficult one in our relationship. I feel like my ExFP phase is completely over now.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
4,539
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Based on the feedback others have given me over the years, the difficulties others can have of me don't have much to do with being hard to get along with or anything like that, but it often comes from a tendency of mine to unintentionally ghost them. Honestly, it's either because I've overlooked an email or text of theirs, straight up forgotten about it because something else distracted me, or ya...that's usually what it is, I'm generally very distractable and that's not limited to trying to do tasks but applies to people and heck, even trying to maintain some consistency and linearity within conversations with people.

Oh and an FYI, it can irritate me, too :dry:
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
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Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,230
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INTJ
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5w6
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sp/sx
Based on the feedback others have given me over the years, the difficulties others can have of me don't have much to do with being hard to get along with or anything like that, but it often comes from a tendency of mine to unintentionally ghost them. Honestly, it's either because I've overlooked an email or text of theirs, straight up forgotten about it because something else distracted me, or ya...that's usually what it is, I'm generally very distractable and that's not limited to trying to do tasks but applies to people and heck, even trying to maintain some consistency and linearity within conversations with people.
This is a fair assessment, especially when the other person's primary love language is quality time.
 

LucieCat

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2017
Messages
665
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I get along just fine with most people. The instances where I outright clash with someone are fairly rare. However, I know I tend to be overwhelming for some people with my endless stream of seemingly impractical, loud voice (I can't control my vocal volume most of the time), wackiness, disinterest in conformity, scattered behavior, and probably other things I can't think of right now.

This was more true when I was younger.

So, I guess I could be considered difficult. On the other hand, I'm usually easy-going, a hard worker, friendly, and willing to listen to new ideas and perspectives. So, a lot of parts of me don't qualify as what you would see in a difficult person.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
4,539
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This is a fair assessment, especially when the other person's primary love language is quality time.

It is, and I don't fault people for feeling amiss. If anything I appreciate this sort of issue was brought to my attention as I was never aware of this before. It's at least something I can be conscious of and work on doing less or in the least, give people a head's up that it's something I might do? :shrug:
 

Amberiat

Infinity
Joined
Mar 10, 2018
Messages
1,233
If I was a video game, my difficulty level would be "Catastrophical".

On topic though, I may or may not have received indirect hints that I am difficult in some aspects, or when I've forcibly drawn feedback from people I actually care about, but honestly I view myself as being much more difficult than others think, or openly express at least. I have the tendency to turn against myself when things aren't going well and blame myself for everything that goes wrong in my life, although these moments quickly vanish because I can rationalize myself out of it pretty easily even though sometimes I push more blame away from myself than I should.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
At work - yes, probably. I stubbornly refuse to do things that I feel aren't my responsibility or are unfair. I have virtually zero sense of duty to others and I cannot stand being told to or manipulated into doing something a particular way. My biggest triggers are clients who try to utilize "power communication" strategies to gain the upper hand. Salesman-y/leader types who look down upon me in a blue collar manner are the worst and I will use specific techniques to maintain professional authority (unflinching eye contact, erect posture with hand on hip, strong vocal tone and volume, not allowing others to speak over me). Not many people push me to this point though. There have been a few instances of me confronting unfair leadership with some level of force, typically in response to unjust situations.

In my personal life, I can be stubborn or a bit much at times, but the bigger complaint has been that my partners felt they couldn't "do anything right". It took me a long time to see that in myself and I work hard to contain my urge to "correct" other people's methods of doing things.

**I don't make any guarantees that I'm ENFP**
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
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496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Based on the feedback others have given me over the years, the difficulties others can have of me don't have much to do with being hard to get along with or anything like that, but it often comes from a tendency of mine to unintentionally ghost them. Honestly, it's either because I've overlooked an email or text of theirs, straight up forgotten about it because something else distracted me, or ya...that's usually what it is, I'm generally very distractable and that's not limited to trying to do tasks but applies to people and heck, even trying to maintain some consistency and linearity within conversations with people.

Oh and an FYI, it can irritate me, too :dry:
I can also see this being an issue for ENFPs because they can be very charming and create meaningful, intuitive connections. In a way this creates a bigger contrast for others when they don't hear from them. I think something similar happens with INFJs, but the specifics are a little different. The connectedness/distance dichotomy for them is more they choose to distance, and the connection feels more on the other person's terms. With the ENFP the connection is more a special, unique, new, charming experience that catches the person's attention and then it's gone. I think it is an iNuitive dom/Feeler kind of thing to have this connected/distance dichotomy.
 
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