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  1. #81
    Senior Member ilovereeses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well i think that's not seeing it accurately at all. i think many enfps are naturally very loving, helpful and cooperative people and have a preference for harmony. i believe we only expect the same freedom we give to others and i also think we can be great team players but chose not to infringe on the rights of the individuals within the group. i personally do not feel much control in my life now and really only have from one person ever so it is not as if i go around believing everyone is trying to hold me down...i do not.

    but some people do have such inflated self concepts that they believe their way is THE way and would attempt to have you follow it. those people are misguided and will be sorely disappointed when dealing with an independent enfp and will likely claim the enfp to be a "difficult" person.
    +1
    eNFP 9w8 sx/sp

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  2. #82
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Yeah, I have to agree that what Lady_X said is pretty much awesome.

  3. #83
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I think control has become an umbrella term used by ENFPs to justify irresponsibility sometimes. It's pretty easy and cool to be completely apart from people we know only superficially, but when you live or are close to other people, doing what one pleases is not always a good idea.

    It's a lot more difficult to love or tolerate someone who is all over the place because we are demanding constant adaptation form other people, and not everyone is capable of that, nevermind the fact we don't always see ourselves has having an obligation to compromise in the whole equation either.

    I think a mature ENFP doesn't give two fucks about control, because he/she will be very nonchalant about the whole thing and won't even recognize others as having any sort of power over him/her.


    It's always someone else's fault.... but if the ENFP is one of the least controlling types, that means most others are always more controlling by default...so complaining about other people being too controlling doesn't mean squat. Unless the ENFP prefers to live as a hermit he/she will have to adapt a bit too. Or just not truly care about anyone as just be his/her naturally self-centered self.
    Controlling part, I was talking about is my family and some people I interact with. my sister is an estp and my aunt is an istj. They are always telling me what to do and think. I think for our type people perceive us as being misguided, and need to be steer. And sometimes, steering us, turn into controlling us. Now that's my personal experience.

    I'm a free spirit, so i don't like being control, at least, being told how to think and what to say. If seeing my family and some people trying to control makes me an unhealthy enfp, so be it.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
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  4. #84
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    Actually we will think of you more as challange.
    That's very true
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  5. #85
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well i think that's not seeing it accurately at all. i think many enfps are naturally very loving, helpful and cooperative people and have a preference for harmony. i believe we only expect the same freedom we give to others and i also think we can be great team players but chose not to infringe on the rights of the individuals within the group. i personally do not feel much control in my life now and really only have from one person ever so it is not as if i go around believing everyone is trying to hold me down...i do not.

    but some people do have such inflated self concepts that they believe their way is THE way and would attempt to have you follow it. those people are misguided and will be sorely disappointed when dealing with an independent enfp and will likely claim the enfp to be a "difficult" person.
    you took the words out of my mind. I love harmony- I try my very best to cooperate with people, which i do. i totally agree with the other stuff you said.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  6. #86
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Ratsimoan : I have people telling me what to do myself. Guess what? I don't give a fuck. What I'm saying is that maybe ENFPs don't get other types get told what to do as well themselves. It's about being slightly Ne paranoid and seeing meaning where there isn't sometimes too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well i think that's not seeing it accurately at all. i think many enfps are naturally very loving, helpful and cooperative people and have a preference for harmony. i believe we only expect the same freedom we give to others and i also think we can be great team players but chose not to infringe on the rights of the individuals within the group.
    wtf kind of response is that? :P How does that relate to anything I said? I didn't say ENFPs didn't like harmony.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i personally do not feel much control in my life now and really only have from one person ever so it is not as if i go around believing everyone is trying to hold me down...i do not.

    but some people do have such inflated self concepts that they believe their way is THE way and would attempt to have you follow it. those people are misguided and will be sorely disappointed when dealing with an independent enfp and will likely claim the enfp to be a "difficult" person.
    Those are extreme cases and it's up to the ENFP to associate with people they like or do not like.

  7. #87
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    oh i believe you did say a number of things about enfps...such as being self centered, immature, unwilling to bend and expecting others to conform to our way. which is why i said no...actually we're not. we are people who strive for harmony while respecting the individual rights. the right for everyone involved to have an equal say on the matter. it is precisely because we do give a fuck about more than ourself and because we/i do not immediately write someone off who has a different way of doing things. it does not mean i dislike someone who behaves differently. i only ask to be treated with the same amount of respect...asking how can we achieve this goal in a way we are both happy with.

    however...i agree with you that enfps are likely more concerned with protecting these individual rights than others are and to some that may make it more difficult to deal with us...but about that...no i don't give a fuck. :p
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #88
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    oh i believe you did say a number of things about enfps...such as being self centered, immature, unwilling to bend and expecting others to conform to our way.

    For an ENFP you are taking things too much at face value. I'm talking about the depths of the soul of an ENFP. Where the ENFP would have the whole world accepting him/her EXACTLY as he/she is without giving a fuck about any sort of criticism. That's self-centeredness.

    That's basically my point too. ENFPs have a hard time accepting criticism even when it's due. Sure, "oh I'm so lazy"....if the ENFP agrees with the criticism it's fine for the most part (even if when they get called lazy by others...a lot of the time they will revolt) ....but if the ENFP doesn't he/she just tends to dismiss it.

    I'm relating criticism to control, because ENFPs tend to be blind to anything that isn't all sugar and spice towards them. Big bad wolf is saying something I don't like to hear, therefore he/she is being controlling because he is not accepting me for who I am

    You DO get I'm an ENFP myself right? I'm talking about my own shortcomings here...and fair enough, you guys don't have to agree, but I still thing it needs to be said, because nothing irks me more than seeing fellow ENFPs falling into their own (imo) mindtraps, like I sometimes do myself...

    Besides, when I say self-centered I don't mean selfish nor do I mean the exact ideal of extreme self-centeredness per se...just doing that ENFP of exaggerating to convey a point.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    however...i agree with you that enfps are likely more concerned with protecting these individual rights than others are and to some that may make it more difficult to deal with us...but about that...no i don't give a fuck. :p
    WHatever happened to having an open-minded, the love for growing and learning and the connectedness to the world surrounding the ENFP?

  9. #89
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    oh i have a lot of faults and realize disliking criticism is one of them and i do aim for growth very much so but i don't think shedding my desire for personal freedom constitutes as such...people can go on labeling me as difficult all fucking day if they wish about that one.

    and of course i know you're an enfp. an extremely contrarian enfp at that which is why i think your telling me this so funny. :p
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #90
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    oh i have a lot of faults and realize disliking criticism is one of them and i do aim for growth very much so but i don't think shedding my desire for personal freedom constitutes as such...people can go on labeling me as difficult all fucking day if they wish about that one.
    I didn't suggested you did that. Like I said, I'm an ENFP myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    and of course i know you're an enfp. an extremely contrarian enfp at that which is why i think your telling me this so funny. :p
    Let's just say I'm trying my best to grow out of myself.

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