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  1. #21
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    I don't think anyone ever told me that I was exceptionally difficult. Still, it feels like my emotional roller-coaster and principles makes some people wary of me

    Also:
    Quote Originally Posted by slumdogtrillionaire View Post
    (check this out too ENFP Personal Growth)
    Bookmarked.
    Last edited by Elemental Chaos; 05-06-2010 at 07:06 AM. Reason: Fixed the quote.
    Ennea:7w8sx/so (?)
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    Extravert(33%) iNtuitive(50%) Feeling(25%) Perceiving(11)%

    So apparently I might be epileptic. Thanks brain, keep malfunctioning. I didn't think it could be that bad seeing starfalls in bookshelves. I just thought I was psychotic.

  2. #22
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    What? No. I'm accommodating of others to a fault.

    I do tend to respond to others as they respond to me, though--for good and for bad. If you yell at me, expect me to raise my voice and be much more direct in kind. If you're snarky, then, well, congratulations; you've given me license to be snarky, too.

    So, for the people who can dish it out but can't take it, I'm pretty difficult.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    What? No. I'm accommodating of others to a fault.

    I do tend to respond to others as they respond to me, though--for good and for bad. If you yell at me, expect me to raise my voice and be much more direct in kind. If you're snarky, then, well, congratulations; you've given me license to be snarky, too.

    So, for the people who can dish it out but can't take it, I'm pretty difficult.
    So true. Just that I also tend to turn it up just a bit too much.
    Ennea:7w8sx/so (?)
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    Extravert(33%) iNtuitive(50%) Feeling(25%) Perceiving(11)%

    So apparently I might be epileptic. Thanks brain, keep malfunctioning. I didn't think it could be that bad seeing starfalls in bookshelves. I just thought I was psychotic.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    I had my first child very young which forced me to commit to completing college to be self supportive.





    Both of these sort of highlight things my entp friend says about me. I can quickly grasp the big picture, and skip all of the details-aka the Ti system she is trying to build. She also says enfps always think we are right. And we do right up until you provide us with more data-at which point we change our minds and are right again... I think this is because our Ideas are grounded upon ideals. We "value" the idea we just came up with, thus will spring to it's defense, even if it is kinda wrong as we attached some Fi to it.

    Fine, if actually an Fi problem, but the innate Fi defense response-"Of course I am right"-is not fine if it is a calculus problem.

    Oddly, internally we feel as though we are very flexible, but externally this can look odd as you will see different facets of our personality as we mold to others around us to match them. All facets are very real-but we can look like we have no fixed core as a result-yet have a very firm sense of identity.
    So I guess the bigger question is how do improve these?

  5. #25
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    So I guess the bigger question is how do improve these?
    you know one of the real cool things about being an ENFP? I think we can use Te to understand and structure ourselves-our own minds.

    When we see someone else in need we seem to first mirror their response to validate their emotions (Fi), then second come up with a plan to help get them back on track (Te).

    In this case we must be aware of our OWN patterns, monitor our behavior, then choose to modify those innate patterns using Te plans. Understanding the pattern itself is extraordinarily useful, as then I know what my next innate response would be-and I can choose if I wish to continue in that direction or not.

    an example-when hurt badly I will first withdraw in an Fe defensive shadow mode, if pushed further, lash out in Te defensive mode, and finally totally have an emo crying fit. By understanding these patterns, when hurt emotionally I can decide NOT to withdraw and NOT to lash out. I can decide to instead ask for time alone to process. But before understanding the above patterns-it just feels being pulled in a hundred different directions, none of which make any sense.

    For these particular issues-

    "I am always right"-
    1) Consciously recognize our logic (Te) is grounded in "Fi values" thus will always "FEEL" right. Our default mode is to protect those value judgments with an ass kicking helping of Te-thus the slight defensive posture we take when questioned and the almost insulted "of course it is right" air we assume if questioned. This is how we are wired as we are kinda designed to take care of other people by standing up and fighting for them.

    2) Identify if the problem is purely logical or not. Is there a need to defend a value? Is the feeling of "right" even relevant if it is a math problem? If it is logical, then try and distance yourself from the gut pull, mentally reframe the problem at stake as being logical and then-well-reperceive the problem in that context. I learned this early on as an undergrad.

    3) If it is a value based problem, then it becomes subjective. You have to internally ask if this is a good value to fight for, is there more good to be gained by compromise, and again if reframed from a different perspective, perhaps you could judge the problem against a different set of values? Maybe it is best just not to say anything at all, even if you feel strongly.

    4) Recognize often ENFPs will say a lot just via our tone of voice. The value based judgment is there so that even if we are just stating a fact, we will do so in an authoritative, almost condescending manner at times. You have to learn to listen to your own voice and monitor-self regulate I guess.


    The Te vs Ti-

    This is huge and we will fuck it up badly. Ti users are your best friends, so recognize you are missing info-even if you "feel" like you have the right answer and force yourself to listen. But the Fi/Fe communication issues can become real road blocks here.


    um, I hope some of that was helpful....I dunno...thinking up a lot of it as I go along...

  6. #26
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i'm really too sleepy brained to even attempt answering but maybe it'll make sense...we'll see

    i think we can be confusing and frustrating. i think we can be so quick to pick out just a bit of information and think we have the full picture and respond to that but then we're lazy and don't realize not everyone else is seeing the same picture and the few details we provide is not enough...so it just isn't very effective communication...but we don't always do that....i should say me...maybe that's a me thing not an enfp thing.

    but...i don't really have anyone say i'm difficult to get along with...but i'm sure that ^^ is annoying.
    Wow yeah...I do that.

    Here is an example of how I frustrated my mother. My mom was taking me to the bus station. (The day before she wanted to know the exact time the driver left the station.) I got in the car. She said something about my father (which I could have cared less about because it was just a remark). Like 30 seconds later, I told her "Now, he leaves at exactly 6:30am." So she started going off about "Him taking me to the bus stop and not herself." We were in this long conversation where I got mad because she wasn't making sense and LAUGHING at me because I didn't understand what she was talking about. After some investigation we discovered that she thought I was talking about my dad and not the bus driver. It was so frustrating, because how clear do I have to be? She insists it was my fault. And that I am difficult and exhausting. Should I omit any pronouns when speaking and be SPECIFIC as possible?? It's almost like I have to talk to someone who is mentally challenged. I just feel like I have to do this with everyone because this misinterpret everything I say.

  7. #27
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Yes, I hear it. Hang around here and you will find other crazy people like you.
    I adore crazy people.

  8. #28
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    yes.
    So what do you do about it??

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i'm really too sleepy brained to even attempt answering but maybe it'll make sense...we'll see

    i think we can be confusing and frustrating. i think we can be so quick to pick out just a bit of information and think we have the full picture and respond to that but then we're lazy and don't realize not everyone else is seeing the same picture and the few details we provide is not enough...so it just isn't very effective communication...but we don't always do that....i should say me...maybe that's a me thing not an enfp thing.

    but...i don't really have anyone say i'm difficult to get along with...but i'm sure that ^^ is annoying.
    Bold.. This is always my conflict with ENFPs ..

  10. #30
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    ENFPs are [too] difficult for ME (its the other way around )

    I tend to bother my ENFP friend with my snarkiness (Gotta love the ESTP shadow) and perfectionism, but that's because they aren't so worried about everything 'fitting together.' They get all impatient like 'cmonnnnn lets gooooo' and then I'm like 'GTFO I'm working here!' then they're like fiiiiiinnnnne *huff*.

    Lol I wonder if my friend is an ENFJ. I just get snarky back with him. Then I feel bad. Then I tell him I love him. Haha. I am a very hurried individual and my friend is more leisurely. We went on vacation. He slept in until 2pm everyday and took 2 hours to get ready. I think my sister is also an INFJ. I love that type though.

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