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  1. #11
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    @surgery give it time, leave him alone let him figure it out and yea its the security net of the family/parents which keeps him from realising the truths about life perhaps if u can find a way of creating situations which make him see that security net for what its worth and that it wont last forever and he will need to make one for himself, that should do the trick. trouble is that will require u to pull the rug under his feet, atleast temporarily to shock him into waking up, maybe send him off to a rough trip?

    with entps thinking is weak so whatever the environment throws at ya thats overwhelming, its all taken at once. once thinking develops, ideas can be sized up for what they are worth. so entps usually need Ti to be worked on and lots of quiet time to reflect on what their intuition (their main interface with the environment) has been overwhelmed with. So Ti helps them judge stuff. Some of it comes with age and experience and some of it needs to be consciously developed. (check this out too ENFP Personal Growth)

    suggesting or directing are not great ways to proceed here. maybe gift him a trip/book which conveys what you want conveyed. oh and keep at the tests and mbti bit, every few days pick it up for discussion. discuss different types of personalities, ask him to identify some of the friends and suggest how could they do things better... if it genuinely catches his interest he will be onto his case pretty fast.
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
    O:C:E:A:N :: 65:69:59:57:9

  2. #12
    Senior Member surgery's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slumdogtrillionaire View Post
    @surgery give it time, leave him alone let him figure it out and yea its the security net of the family/parents which keeps him from realising the truths about life perhaps if u can find a way of creating situations which make him see that security net for what its worth and that it wont last forever and he will need to make one for himself, that should do the trick. trouble is that will require u to pull the rug under his feet, atleast temporarily to shock him into waking up, maybe send him off to a rough trip?

    with entps thinking is weak so whatever the environment throws at ya thats overwhelming, its all taken at once. once thinking develops, ideas can be sized up for what they are worth. so entps usually need Ti to be worked on and lots of quiet time to reflect on what their intuition (their main interface with the environment) has been overwhelmed with. So Ti helps them judge stuff. Some of it comes with age and experience and some of it needs to be consciously developed. (check this out too ENFP Personal Growth)

    suggesting or directing are not great ways to proceed here. maybe gift him a trip/book which conveys what you want conveyed. oh and keep at the tests and mbti bit, every few days pick it up for discussion. discuss different types of personalities, ask him to identify some of the friends and suggest how could they do things better... if it genuinely catches his interest he will be onto his case pretty fast.

    Thanks for the advice. I agree that his auxiliary function needs some development, but obviously I can't force that.
    Also, the "suggesting and directing" is true, since I feel that he must hate being told what to do and sense that in any sort of suggestion.

    Also, does thinking about the possibility of having to make decision irritate ENPs? I wonder if he just trying to engage him in a conversation about what he envisions for himself in the future would be welcomed at all.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Drezoryx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surgery View Post
    Thanks for the advice. I agree that his auxiliary function needs some development, but obviously I can't force that.
    Also, the "suggesting and directing" is true, since I feel that he must hate being told what to do and sense that in any sort of suggestion.

    Also, does thinking about the possibility of having to make decision irritate ENPs? I wonder if he just trying to engage him in a conversation about what he envisions for himself in the future would be welcomed at all.
    setting a positive example of self is much more powerful. engaging him in such a conversation is not a good idea. if he starts it then you could pick it up and listen and nod in agreement at most, because once he feels free then he will start discussing new visions everyday. it will piss you off, but if you act pissed off he will shut down. the option of engaging him today (while he is telling you his new vision) in his last weeks vision you liked will shut him off too. the ways out is developing Fi and settings examples.

    you can lay sugar cubes to lure the mouse into the mouse trap but you cant direct the mouse into the mouse trap! you cant engage the mouse into the benefits of moving into the mouse trap nor can you ask the mouse how he envisions moving into the mouse trap!!
    Type 8 sx/sp/so
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  4. #14
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    ENFPs are [too] difficult for ME (its the other way around )

    I tend to bother my ENFP friend with my snarkiness (Gotta love the ESTP shadow) and perfectionism, but that's because they aren't so worried about everything 'fitting together.' They get all impatient like 'cmonnnnn lets gooooo' and then I'm like 'GTFO I'm working here!' then they're like fiiiiiinnnnne *huff*.

    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  5. #15
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MafiaAngel180 View Post
    Hello fellow ENFPs...I've been wondering...does anyone ever tell you that you are difficult to get along with? Do people get angry with you? Do you feel like sometimes you have to overanalyze everything you say because people take everything you say the wrong way? Do you sometimes feel that you have to walk on eggshells with people?

    I've been having this problem. And I get so exhausted trying to communicate with people and get my point across that I just close up and shut down. (Which people also have a problem with.) At first I thought it was just with my SP boyfriend, who I'm having problems with. But it occurred to me that many people think I am hard to get along with. My SP mother hates the way I communicate and it frustrates her to no end. She gets very angry. I wished I could say it was just the SPs...but it seems to be more types than just that.

    I just would like to know if anyone else feels this way. Maybe it's not a type thing. It might just be a me thing.
    Can you give us more examples? And how old are you?

    How exactly do you communicate? What specifically do people get angry at you about?

    As for your mom - if you don't see eye to eye, I wouldn't necessarily blame it just on yourself and think something is "wrong" with you. Some people just love criticizing their kids or want their kids to be Exactly Like Them. Parents also have a job (and actually more of a responsibility IMHO than their kids have to them) to try to understand their children and communicate clearly with their kids so that you at least understand why they are getting angry with you.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  6. #16
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surgery View Post
    Thanks for the advice. I agree that his auxiliary function needs some development, but obviously I can't force that.
    Also, the "suggesting and directing" is true, since I feel that he must hate being told what to do and sense that in any sort of suggestion.

    Also, does thinking about the possibility of having to make decision irritate ENPs? I wonder if he just trying to engage him in a conversation about what he envisions for himself in the future would be welcomed at all.
    LOL..ohhh this sounds wayyyyy tooo famililar

    Give it time, and ask him those Fi-questions (so what do you feel passionate about, why, how do you view other people, who are you, etc) to get his Fi going. Don't tie it in with *anything* in his life that could suggest that he needs to shape up his act coz that will bring out the porcupine reaction.

    Keep prodding it..it's hiding in there somewhere
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #17
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surgery View Post
    Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

    I initially typed him as an ESTP because he's so good with technical skills like drawing, building with legos, racing and music.
    Yet, he rejects the idea of teaching guitar, though it's one of his passions.
    He probably doubts whether it would be exciting or challenging for him.
    He's also recently shown interest in cooking, but hasn't taken much initiative in pursuing a career in culinary arts.

    The only "ideals" that he has expressed to me have been:

    Racing motorcylces while being "an advocate for peace" and living a nomadic life on his motorcyle in Italy.
    He prefers Southern Europe because of the climate and because, apparently, there are less rules/police regulation on the roads : )

    Do any of you ENFPs have stories about how reality forced you to commit to a career, etc. or would that derail the thread?[/FONT]
    My original thougt of your first post, surgery, was that are you sure your brother is ENFP? Based on your description (and not just the motorcycles) I would say he is not... Just based on what you wrote there.

  8. #18
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MafiaAngel180 View Post
    Hello fellow ENFPs...I've been wondering...does anyone ever tell you that you are difficult to get along with? Do people get angry with you? Do you feel like sometimes you have to overanalyze everything you say because people take everything you say the wrong way? Do you sometimes feel that you have to walk on eggshells with people?

    I've been having this problem. And I get so exhausted trying to communicate with people and get my point across that I just close up and shut down. (Which people also have a problem with.) At first I thought it was just with my SP boyfriend, who I'm having problems with. But it occurred to me that many people think I am hard to get along with. My SP mother hates the way I communicate and it frustrates her to no end. She gets very angry. I wished I could say it was just the SPs...but it seems to be more types than just that.

    I just would like to know if anyone else feels this way. Maybe it's not a type thing. It might just be a me thing.
    Maybe you are surrounded by the kind of people that don't understand you? Maybe you are going through a phase where you are also searching for yourself and thus people can sense that you aren't sure of yourself and that is why you feel they are treating you wrongly and not understanding you?

  9. #19
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    I wouldnt say Im "difficult", I usually try my best to unite people under a banner and inspire them. How old are you?

    I AM stubborn however. My idea is always right, obviously. I cant let things go and its a problem. THAT can make me difficult I think.

  10. #20
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surgery View Post
    Do any of you ENFPs have stories about how reality forced you to commit to a career, etc. or would that derail the thread?[/FONT]
    I had my first child very young which forced me to commit to completing college to be self supportive.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skyward View Post
    ENFPs are [too] difficult for ME (its the other way around )

    I tend to bother my ENFP friend with my snarkiness (Gotta love the ESTP shadow) and perfectionism, but that's because they aren't so worried about everything 'fitting together.' They get all impatient like 'cmonnnnn lets gooooo' and then I'm like 'GTFO I'm working here!' then they're like fiiiiiinnnnne *huff*.

    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    I wouldnt say Im "difficult", I usually try my best to unite people under a banner and inspire them. How old are you?

    I AM stubborn however. My idea is always right, obviously. I cant let things go and its a problem. THAT can make me difficult I think.
    Both of these sort of highlight things my entp friend says about me. I can quickly grasp the big picture, and skip all of the details-aka the Ti system she is trying to build. She also says enfps always think we are right. And we do right up until you provide us with more data-at which point we change our minds and are right again... I think this is because our Ideas are grounded upon ideals. We "value" the idea we just came up with, thus will spring to it's defense, even if it is kinda wrong as we attached some Fi to it.

    Fine, if actually an Fi problem, but the innate Fi defense response-"Of course I am right"-is not fine if it is a calculus problem.

    Oddly, internally we feel as though we are very flexible, but externally this can look odd as you will see different facets of our personality as we mold to others around us to match them. All facets are very real-but we can look like we have no fixed core as a result-yet have a very firm sense of identity.

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