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  1. #91
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    then just what are you suggesting? you obviously disagree with something.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #92
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Ratsimoan : I have people telling me what to do myself. Guess what? I don't give a fuck. What I'm saying is that maybe ENFPs don't get other types get told what to do as well themselves. It's about being slightly Ne paranoid and seeing meaning where there isn't sometimes too.



    wtf kind of response is that? :P How does that relate to anything I said? I didn't say ENFPs didn't like harmony.






    Those are extreme cases and it's up to the ENFP to associate with people they like or do not like.
    I understand what you are saying. that other types get told what to do themselves, trust me, those types would tell people don't tell me what to do, especially the sensors i hang with. my sister ( estp) has a big problem with people trying to control her. it's not just Ne problem about being control. i guess i didn't explain my problem well , because it's more complicated than you're making it. a lot of time, i let what people say to me, slide off my back, because it's not that serious.

    anyway, the sky is blue and it's sunny. And it is mother day. i decided to move on.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  3. #93
    Senior Member Ratsimoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    For an ENFP you are taking things too much at face value. I'm talking about the depths of the soul of an ENFP. Where the ENFP would have the whole world accepting him/her EXACTLY as he/she is without giving a fuck about any sort of criticism. That's self-centeredness.

    That's basically my point too. ENFPs have a hard time accepting criticism even when it's due. Sure, "oh I'm so lazy"....if the ENFP agrees with the criticism it's fine for the most part (even if when they get called lazy by others...a lot of the time they will revolt) ....but if the ENFP doesn't he/she just tends to dismiss it.

    I'm relating criticism to control, because ENFPs tend to be blind to anything that isn't all sugar and spice towards them. Big bad wolf is saying something I don't like to hear, therefore he/she is being controlling because he is not accepting me for who I am

    You DO get I'm an ENFP myself right? I'm talking about my own shortcomings here...and fair enough, you guys don't have to agree, but I still thing it needs to be said, because nothing irks me more than seeing fellow ENFPs falling into their own (imo) mindtraps, like I sometimes do myself...

    Besides, when I say self-centered I don't mean selfish nor do I mean the exact ideal of extreme self-centeredness per se...just doing that ENFP of exaggerating to convey a point.



    WHatever happened to having an open-minded, the love for growing and learning and the connectedness to the world surrounding the ENFP?
    I'm sorry , i didn't read the other stuff you wrote. so i decided to comment. The part that is bolded, I understand well. i would never label a person as being controlling for not accepting me for who i am. but the controlling part I'm talking about is being able to do want you want in your own personal time. just because you don't feel like doing an activity, for example, playing pool. but their other things that are less trivial then playing pool. then your label as being difficult. i believe everybody has a right to do want they want to or feel like doing in their personal time. i don't label people, easily because i understand, how it feels.

    I know you weren't talking to me. but enfps are open-minded but not sparing our morals, freedom and values.
    [SIGPIC] [/SIGPIC]

    Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
    — Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

    "Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."
    — Sylvia Plath

  4. #94
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MafiaAngel180 View Post
    Wow yeah...I do that.

    Here is an example of how I frustrated my mother. My mom was taking me to the bus station. (The day before she wanted to know the exact time the driver left the station.) I got in the car. She said something about my father (which I could have cared less about because it was just a remark). Like 30 seconds later, I told her "Now, he leaves at exactly 6:30am." So she started going off about "Him taking me to the bus stop and not herself." We were in this long conversation where I got mad because she wasn't making sense and LAUGHING at me because I didn't understand what she was talking about. After some investigation we discovered that she thought I was talking about my dad and not the bus driver. It was so frustrating, because how clear do I have to be? She insists it was my fault. And that I am difficult and exhausting. Should I omit any pronouns when speaking and be SPECIFIC as possible?? It's almost like I have to talk to someone who is mentally challenged. I just feel like I have to do this with everyone because this misinterpret everything I say.
    hahaha, that is hilarious. you poor dear. this happens to me too, but i'm lucky in that my mom is an entp, so when my dad (estj) gets all mad at us for not making sense... HE looks like the one who doesn't know how to communicate since it's two on one. it really does take too much time to try to explain every single little detail, and i don't really care enough to do so all the time. yeah, sometimes i wonder "is my dad stupid? how can he not understand what i am saying?" but clearly, it just has to do with differences and not intelligence. you just need some people in your life who you can talk Nspeak with, then you won't feel so crazy and will feel appreciated. at least, that's what i think would help me at times.

  5. #95
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I didn't suggested you did that. Like I said, I'm an ENFP myself

    Let's just say I'm trying my best to grow out of myself.
    Interesting, I think you would do better to identify positives and move with them rather than try to frustrate yourself with what you think is bad about yourself. ENFPs really aren't as bad as you make them out to be. ENFPs are easy to complain about, we are out there, doesn't make people like us any less or be any less happy with us. I've seen this in other posts from you, seems like you are basically complaining about yourself, not actually about enfps.

  6. #96
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    to answer the title question, yes, ENFPs can be difficult
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #97
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Depends. I'm not usually difficult, unless i'm fighting for something I really believe in/fighting for something I really, really want.

    I communicate fairly well, SPs get along with me just fine. My father is an SP, in fact.

  8. #98
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MafiaAngel180 View Post
    Amen!! I hear that!! And for me, it always seems to be with those I care those about.
    +3

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    well i think that's not seeing it accurately at all. i think many enfps are naturally very loving, helpful and cooperative people and have a preference for harmony. i believe we only expect the same freedom we give to others and i also think we can be great team players but chose not to infringe on the rights of the individuals within the group. i personally do not feel much control in my life now and really only have from one person ever so it is not as if i go around believing everyone is trying to hold me down...i do not.

    but some people do have such inflated self concepts that they believe their way is THE way and would attempt to have you follow it. those people are misguided and will be sorely disappointed when dealing with an independent enfp and will likely claim the enfp to be a "difficult" person.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  9. #99
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    then just what are you suggesting? you obviously disagree with something.
    Well I already stated my thoughts. I don't disagree with anything per se, you disagreed with me. I was just saying that ENFPs play the "misunderstood" or "other people are trying to control me" too readily sometimes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Ekaur
    Interesting, I think you would do better to identify positives and move with them rather than try to frustrate yourself with what you think is bad about yourself. ENFPs really aren't as bad as you make them out to be. ENFPs are easy to complain about, we are out there, doesn't make people like us any less or be any less happy with us. I've seen this in other posts from you, seems like you are basically complaining about yourself, not actually about enfps.
    I don't think I am. I am "complaining" about both ENFPs and myself, yes.

    I'm not trying to make ENFPs look bad, nor did I say that ENFPs are bad. I certainly don't think we are any worse than other types.

    I'm trying to voice some thoughts I don't see others voicing that much around here. I see less self-criticism from ENFPs in this forum than I would like. Maybe because I hold us to higher standards and because I don't like the picture others get of us sometimes based on what we write. We are either justifying ourselves or self-congratulating each other on our ENFPness. I'd like more objectivism, and I'm just trying to do my role.

    Seems one can never say something seemingly bad about ENFPs and I think that perfectly relates to the idea behind the topic.

    As for focusing on the positives and all...just to clarify, what I meant by growing out of myself is to try and become as much of myself as possible, and try to shed the "bad" attributes I've defended myself with for years.

    One thing I'll never be is a great communicator however, since I always need to re-explain what I mean and people still won't always follow me train of thought. I tend to talk abstractly and exaggeratingly like I mentioned in my previous post I believe.

  10. #100
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    That's basically my point too. ENFPs have a hard time accepting criticism even when it's due. Sure, "oh I'm so lazy"....if the ENFP agrees with the criticism it's fine for the most part (even if when they get called lazy by others...a lot of the time they will revolt) ....but if the ENFP doesn't he/she just tends to dismiss it.

    I'm relating criticism to control, because ENFPs tend to be blind to anything that isn't all sugar and spice towards them. Big bad wolf is saying something I don't like to hear, therefore he/she is being controlling because he is not accepting me for who I am

    You DO get I'm an ENFP myself right? I'm talking about my own shortcomings here...and fair enough, you guys don't have to agree, but I still thing it needs to be said, because nothing irks me more than seeing fellow ENFPs falling into their own (imo) mindtraps, like I sometimes do myself...
    If I may hop in. I do not like being criticized. Especially when younger and especially if it is my idea. Typically I have attached a bit of emo to it.

    So yeah, I will knee jerk get pissed-but within seconds I quell that as I know to make an idea better I need more data and feedback.

    Oddly I hate criticism about me as well, but I SEEK it out as I seem to be on some sort of endless self improvement quest. Please send me all my trash so I can begin sorting through it.

    ENFPs are actually over represented in substance abuse and self help groups. Unlike some other types which thrive on denial we seem to show up hands extended going "GAAAAWWWDDD, I am so fuuucked up, can you help me figure this crap out?"

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