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  1. #11
    Senior Member Yloh's Avatar
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    Becoming bitter is one of the worst things that can possibly every happen to a person. Listen to all of the advise above as I really can't add anything new.

    One thing that might help is for you to do something you enjoy. Sometimes spending time doing something can distract your mind from those painful feelings.

  2. #12
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yloh View Post
    One thing that might help is for you to do something you enjoy. Sometimes spending time doing something can distract your mind from those painful feelings.
    Much like when you have a bitter taste from something you ate, you eat/drink something sweet to replace it. Telling yourself to forget it usually doesn't work as that would just keep it in the foreground of your thoughts. Only time can make the memories fade into the background.

    Sometimes I wish I could reformat my brain at times like these...
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  3. #13
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    I don't know if this is good advice psychologically. But I tend to do whatever causes the unpleasant feelings to emerge and then focus on just accepting it and forgive. Trying to realize that no matter what I think about it, it is as it is. This usually gives me a sense of freedom at least.
    Ennea:7w8sx/so (?)
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    So apparently I might be epileptic. Thanks brain, keep malfunctioning. I didn't think it could be that bad seeing starfalls in bookshelves. I just thought I was psychotic.

  4. #14
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Don't forget about REVENGE, it can be a very useful tool in getting over bitterness!
    --------------------
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Don't forget about REVENGE, it can be a very useful tool in getting over bitterness!
    I tend to disagree. It might be sweet for a split second but I bet it's twice as bitter afterwards.

  6. #16
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Don't forget about REVENGE, it can be a very useful tool in getting over bitterness!
    This made me chuckle . The problem with revenge though, is sometimes it's a death in and of itself. You eat, you breathe, you work, you sleep, but you're dead. Also, depending on how extream the action was, results in how few ways back to living there are.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  7. #17
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear you are still going through this.

    I struggle very much with this sort of thing. Things that have helped me are the passage of time - a change of scene - more cultivation of both new and old friendships - prayer - etc.

    I think that if you are an sensitive INFJ this kind of thing may be very hard to break away from, even if you know that the bitterness is just damaging you. We seem to move on with great difficulty.

    The best thing is always to resolve things completely with the other person, I think. I've been fairly fortunate to have mostly obtained that kind of resolution - even if sometimes it was a long time coming - in my life, where I've been confronted with this type of situation (fortunately not that often). But if it never comes, or at least in the interim, it can certainly do a lot to destroy peace of mind.

    And I totally understand the feeling that everything associated with the person/the damaged relationship is tainted and painful and you can't really even go there. Even if that seems unreasonable and unhealthy...it happens.

    Wish I could help you more with this - these are just my thoughts/experiences.
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  8. #18
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    The best thing is always to resolve things completely with the other person, I think.
    I have done this as much as I could, but the person in question is a SP and moves on easily. She doesn't seem to see the necessity of making things right; she puts bad experiences in her past, forgets them and moves on (events and people). I had attempted to get in touch and she hadn't answered. I had to wait months, call her, leave a message and then she called me back. She didn't feel like she had any responsibilty in what had happened (sounds familiar?).

  9. #19
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I have done this as much as I could, but the person in question is a SP and moves on easily. She doesn't seem to see the necessity of making things right; she puts bad experiences in her past, forgets them and moves on (events and people). I had attempted to get in touch and she hadn't answered. I had to wait months, call her, leave a message and then she called me back. She didn't feel like she had any responsibilty in what had happened (sounds familiar?).
    Ugh...yes. The other person does have to accept responsibility to a certain extent, and some people won't do that. And if they won't reach out at all in a situation like this, resolution is pretty hard.

    You never know, it could happen even years down the line...I have had that experience. They might miss you and try to come back into your life, and perhaps then if you explain how you felt they might get it a little bit, and accept some responsibility, if they have matured somewhat... But then, none of that might happen.

    Maybe you have to partly tell yourself that if the person moves on that easily, without ever admitting that they were at least partly in the wrong - they're not the biggest loss as a friend. But again, I know it is much easier to say this than to put it into practice. People have said such things to me when I have found myself in such a situation and while I may know logically that it's true, it is VERY hard to put into practice, especially where my damaged emotions are concerned.

    Do you think you might try reaching out again at some later point or is the possible further damage just too much to contemplate? It's hard to know what to do. It is just possible that even if she feels/acts like this now, she will later want to come back into your life to a greater extent, and then you may be able to explain your feelings and get a more productive result.
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I have done this as much as I could, but the person in question is a SP and moves on easily. She doesn't seem to see the necessity of making things right; she puts bad experiences in her past, forgets them and moves on (events and people). I had attempted to get in touch and she hadn't answered. I had to wait months, call her, leave a message and then she called me back. She didn't feel like she had any responsibilty in what had happened (sounds familiar?).
    This does sound familiar.. but it sounds like an INFJ I know.. so I don't think it's exclusive SPs .. either way I know how it feels, It sucks and makes you question your own worth and that something must be wrong with you.

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